Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for InuxNara

10/17/2015 c11 person2238
PLEASE write more! I need to know what happens next!
9/10/2015 c11 person2238
Please write more, please I beg of you
9/9/2015 c11 Person2238
Update update update!
9/9/2015 c6 Person2238
Why'd you make me cry?OH POOR INUYASHA!
9/9/2015 c1 Person2238
Me loves it!
6/15/2014 c11 miru zakura
i want to know what happen to the end of this story...update..please
4/4/2014 c11 1MidoriiOyama
Mikor frissül?
4/4/2013 c11 motoko
I really liked the story. I really didn't find any occ likeness. I watched inuyasha a few years ago in the Tv channel in my country, catalonia, and I saw the movies too. I have to say you really know how to make the characters act, most of the phrases that they say, are actually said in the anime. I like how you write about an angry Kagome in such a nice way, since in the series we barely see her angry, so I found it interesting. The fight scenes are really not bad, you describe them equally as they are showed in the anime, so I love them. I really liked Inuyasha's evolution. I mean, a lot of people will fail at that part since is difficult to see how Inuyasha will react to it since we didn't saw anything like the anime, but you seem to be gifted for somehow be able to envolve his persona in such a magnificient way, that I could ever imagine him in there. You keep the pride of the character but still showed him like a wounded puppy. I liked how you make Naraku, it was hard too, since the anime is more for young audiences, but somehow againn you managed to create he "adult" version of Naraku, showing him like a 'cool' villain, but showing to his angry snaping moments. I like how you make Kagura too. She will really wants to help Inuyasha, since he sympatice with his situation, since Inuyasha is caged as Kagura. Kagura will never be free since Naraku have her heart, so that's why she tries to help him, but she have to fight, because if not Naraku will punish her. The only part I find weird its related to Sesshomaru. So here comes my recommendation. You mainly make Sesshomaru really real original, and he perfectly could be captured by Naraku. But here comes the problem, as proud as Sesshomaru is, he will never ignore Naraku, even if he tortured and raped him. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's psyche are diferent. Inuyasha will feel anger but will Indulge in fear. But Sesshomaru will never indulge in fear, I think he will totally indulge in fury, and go all berserk to kill Naraku by any means and without rest. I will erase the part of the story saying that Sesshomaru was in the same situation as Inuyasha, but thats only my opinion. After all in the three movie is canon stated that Sesshomaru cares in some way for Inuyasha. At the end, I only have yo say, that what I truly hated was you saying that your work was crap, that it was not worth. I like literature, I read a lot good literature, I'm a really picky person on it, I even studied literature. And I have to say that you have the gift to write. You' re good, you're skilled. You know how to do it, how present the action. So don't even say that again. Its good to accept criticism, but it's good to love your work too. I loved your work, it's really well done. And I expect to see the next chapters soon, so keep going! .
1/30/2013 c11 Masterspuppy
I like this chapte i just wish you didnt just leave us hanging like that and the chapter was way to short for me other than that good chapter :3 am sorry for ranting but i hate clift hangers but who doesnt xD and i hate short chapters
12/7/2012 c5 10xXDemonic AngelXx
Number one, never, ever, apologize for a long chapter. What that means is that you actually put in thought, detail, and an effort to at least build up to the climax for the story. Apologize for like, short chapters, because sometimes they kind of do suck but are necessary to get the story moving along into the next dramatic scene.
As for the fight, focus on one group, like "they were all being stared down by the hoard of demons, an untold number crawling and seeming to appear out of doors, cracks, and to the point of thin air. Everyone stood their ground, knowing their place in the occurrence of a battle. Miroku stepped forward first, unleashing his wind tunnel and causing the poor minions to disappear into the nether world within his hand." Then the bees show up, poison him, "oh nos!" go around and then that's where the true chaos is unleashed, and you could bounce back between Sango and Kirara, then to Kagome, Shippo, and then Koga, and kind of rotate until everything is destroyed. You could end with something like, "Before they even realized it, the last demon was shot down and materialized into nothing, leaving a dark, hollow hallway before them, no other choice being but to continue forward. Poor sobs continued echoing from nowhere, Kagome thinking of only the worst that could have happened to Inu Yasha." Etc, etc.

Otherwise the turnout is getting better. More details overall and you'll have a definite keeper and a good read. More commas, periods, and the more research you do from the show will definitely improve it, like, my main question is why hasn't Inu Yasha used his Iron Reaper Soul Stealer (or what it's called...it's been a few years) move yet? He doesn't need the sword for that, only his claws. And at the beginning of the chapter, where is he being held captive? Is he back in the cave room again, or is it back in Naraku's room again? I'm gonna come back, but i have a fussy daughter for whatever reason.
12/7/2012 c1 Jordan
This is written much better than i remember. There are words and sentences that need to be capitalized, and periods and commas never hurt anyone. Just think of it as when you're reading it aloud, whenever you need to take a breath or pause, there should probably be a comma or period there. Overall though, i was thoroughly impressed with how much it has improved. Now, i'm actually interested in the story since there does seem to be some sort of plot. Thanks for letting me know about the changes :)
11/18/2012 c11 Shesu94
I love this story so far keep up the good work i cant wait, but please try not to rush to an ending...it would make me sad, becuz this story has so much potential. I'm not that good of a writer so idk but if i come up with something i'll let u know.
11/18/2012 c11 8YamiBakura1988
poor inuyasha.,
11/18/2012 c9 YamiBakura1988
Poor Inuyasha.
11/18/2012 c8 YamiBakura1988
poor yasha
41 Page 1 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service