
7/26/2020 c11
7Bigou
It was a very nice story, I liked it so far. Can I hope to read more of it?
Oh, and about notifying errors, I would love to do it for the few I saw but let's be honest, FFnet don't make it easy, and I'm a bit lazy.

It was a very nice story, I liked it so far. Can I hope to read more of it?
Oh, and about notifying errors, I would love to do it for the few I saw but let's be honest, FFnet don't make it easy, and I'm a bit lazy.
5/9/2018 c11 Guest
Updates for this please
Updates for this please
12/24/2017 c11 Guest
I wish this would be updated...
I wish this would be updated...
6/25/2017 c4 Ibskib
Seems a bit ridiculous that Ranma would just trip like that, and even if he tripped, he should easily be able to react quickly enough to not blunde like he did here, and be able to evade Naru.
It just seems too contrived, the author is trying too hard to shoehorn Ranma into canon Keitaro's place, whether it makes sense or not.
Seems a bit ridiculous that Ranma would just trip like that, and even if he tripped, he should easily be able to react quickly enough to not blunde like he did here, and be able to evade Naru.
It just seems too contrived, the author is trying too hard to shoehorn Ranma into canon Keitaro's place, whether it makes sense or not.
2/27/2016 c11
121dogbertcarroll
Him falling into the same patterns of abuse takes a lot of the fun out of things, but I enjoyed it otherwise.

Him falling into the same patterns of abuse takes a lot of the fun out of things, but I enjoyed it otherwise.
10/18/2015 c11
6Master Dakari-Venomon
Well I understand that the tomboy and kendowannabe are needed still. I personally never liked them but I did like Mitsune and the other girls. Great story

Well I understand that the tomboy and kendowannabe are needed still. I personally never liked them but I did like Mitsune and the other girls. Great story
8/1/2015 c11 James Birdsong
Wonderful eleven chapters.
Wonderful eleven chapters.
9/30/2014 c11 anon
Would like to see this continued
Would like to see this continued
9/26/2014 c11 anon
Nicely written story. I would like to see this continued.
Nicely written story. I would like to see this continued.
9/17/2014 c10 Ibskib
Yes he takes a few too many lumps, and I don't believe Naru is even a martial artist, which should make it easy for him to stop. With this last one he definitely accepted the hit so as not to damage the tea house, I hope it won't become a habit.
Every time they hit him successfully without being punished for it, they are being taught that it is okay. hopefully it is something that Haruka will talk to him about.
Yes he takes a few too many lumps, and I don't believe Naru is even a martial artist, which should make it easy for him to stop. With this last one he definitely accepted the hit so as not to damage the tea house, I hope it won't become a habit.
Every time they hit him successfully without being punished for it, they are being taught that it is okay. hopefully it is something that Haruka will talk to him about.
7/14/2014 c11 Treant Balewood
Really enjoyed reading this especially your characters, with two exceptions, were well written. Thanks for the fun & i'll keep looking back for updates cause I like few of your fics. Thanks for Writing!
Really enjoyed reading this especially your characters, with two exceptions, were well written. Thanks for the fun & i'll keep looking back for updates cause I like few of your fics. Thanks for Writing!
6/4/2014 c11
6rochchen
Huh, it's been a while since I've reread this.
I guess it's true that each time around you notice something different.
I think I've found what could be a plot hole in this chapter. Way back in the previous chapters you've shown Ranma to be capable of the hidden weapons technique when he pulled out that backpack (as well as showing that items stored that way persist across dimensions?). Why doesn't he just put the trunk inside his sub-space and be done with it? I admit this would take the fun out of the chapter but it wouldn't be a big jump of logic unless there were some outside influences (say the mysterious old man from back in chapter one). I think it shows that he's used to that technique given the way he had that backpack stored with essentials as well as his wallets. Probably something to address in the future chapter. Maybe he'll finally think of it then hit himself on the head for being stupid.
Also back in chapter 8 I've noticed this when Haruka was talking to Ranma:
"I know you and they didn't get off on the wrong foot but..."
Now, two negatives make a positive so this would turn to mean that they got off on the right foot.
So instead it should be:
"I know you and they got off on the wrong foot but..." or "I know you and they didn't get off on the right foot but..."
It's interesting how some things just slip through your mind until something comes up to make you notice them. I'm sure the others already have mentioned several language flaws in the story.
I know it's been a while since you've updated any of your stories, I hope you've kept writing.
Your stories are quite interesting and I look forward to when your muse comes for this one.

Huh, it's been a while since I've reread this.
I guess it's true that each time around you notice something different.
I think I've found what could be a plot hole in this chapter. Way back in the previous chapters you've shown Ranma to be capable of the hidden weapons technique when he pulled out that backpack (as well as showing that items stored that way persist across dimensions?). Why doesn't he just put the trunk inside his sub-space and be done with it? I admit this would take the fun out of the chapter but it wouldn't be a big jump of logic unless there were some outside influences (say the mysterious old man from back in chapter one). I think it shows that he's used to that technique given the way he had that backpack stored with essentials as well as his wallets. Probably something to address in the future chapter. Maybe he'll finally think of it then hit himself on the head for being stupid.
Also back in chapter 8 I've noticed this when Haruka was talking to Ranma:
"I know you and they didn't get off on the wrong foot but..."
Now, two negatives make a positive so this would turn to mean that they got off on the right foot.
So instead it should be:
"I know you and they got off on the wrong foot but..." or "I know you and they didn't get off on the right foot but..."
It's interesting how some things just slip through your mind until something comes up to make you notice them. I'm sure the others already have mentioned several language flaws in the story.
I know it's been a while since you've updated any of your stories, I hope you've kept writing.
Your stories are quite interesting and I look forward to when your muse comes for this one.