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for Hellsing: A Different Beginning

7/5/2009 c4 3Slomiti Andeo
This is a pretty good piece of writing. It was fun to read, and I never felt the urge to stop reading it and click away, which is a good thing. Some (hopefully) helpful critiques: James and Kyle are pretty cool OCs, if I may say so. Some more of them, their past, their present activities, some character based plot, would do well. Secondly, and part of what I just previously mentioned, the plot of the anime (and manga, and OVA)is common knowledge among most Hellsing fanfiction readers, because we're all nuts for it anyway. You've created some great OCs, but without more input from them, the plot is boring and we all know its ins and outs. I commend your mostly successful attempt at ditching the anime dialogue, but even with that it gets old fast. In places where I knew exactly what would happen I mainly kept reading only to discover what the (rather awesome) Kyle and James would have to do with it. It's to the point that I really want to see Ann now! lol Anyway, these things aside, I will favorite your story and read the forthcoming chapters as you write them, and I hope that these comments will help in some way. Thanks for writing a great story!
7/5/2009 c4 Leaf Ninja 91
pretty good chapter.
7/5/2009 c4 15BigKwell
A Mach 7 (yes, that's the CORRECT spelling) jet - now THAT I have to see!

Also, I'd like to see Ann get into the act. I can imagine her socking-down bloody marys!
6/30/2009 c3 YourGodDamnMother
yes. it makes me VERY sad. Dx Kyle is an awesome character! you should involve him more in the story please! post soon i am now a devoted reader! =D
6/29/2009 c3 Leaf Ninja 91
not bad, very not bad. please continue.
6/29/2009 c3 BigKwell
Interesting ability - showing what happened by placing Seras in Alucard's P.O.V. Still, I can't wait until the Valentine Brothers show up!
6/28/2009 c2 BigKwell
Interesting turn on the TV series. Like to know how Kyle will deal with the likes of Paladin Anderson.
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