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for Decade Plus Vampire

4/24/2018 c2 1RocketFourze2
It's good and the story is interesting keep up the good work!
8/12/2014 c1 stephaniechandrakirana
please make more the stories until end
8/25/2013 c2 4Fireminer
This is really enjoyable! Hope you will resume writing it in the future!
7/27/2013 c2 16ashlight41
please continue
7/25/2013 c2 Zero
Still no new chapters yet?
1/16/2011 c1 Datara
you need to add another chapter to this story because it is a very good story. and plus I want to know more about what happens with Tsukasa and Moka and Kuro chan
1/25/2010 c2 9Ryuki555
SWEET! I can't WAIT for Kuuga to show up! Or at least..for the Journey to start up all over again. This fic sounds pretty cool.
10/31/2009 c1 3Katsugi
Just read the first chapter and I'll give you a four out of ten.

The best part of this fanfiction was the idea. I admit I love Decade and Rosario. I was excited someone got the motivation to fiddle the two together. Maybe I placed my expectations too high, but it could still use quite a bit of work.

The bad?

It was specifically your sentence variation and your choice of addressing characters. They both got redundant. See this passage:

"Tsukasa enters the bus and sees the bus driver. "Well aren't you a bit on the creepy side."

The bus driver snorts. "You’re going to see just how creepy things can get boy."

Tsukasa blinks and sits down. "I think I insulted him."

Tsukasa pulls out a camera with a strange double lens and starts messing with it. "I hope this school will have some decent spots to take pictures."

The bus drivers smiles in a creepy way. "Oh you will have plenty of decent shots boy."

Tsukasa blinks."Ok he is really starting to creep me out."

The bus heads into a tunnel and it becomes black with random lights appearing and disappearing.

Tsukasa watches on in fascination. "Well this is new."

The bus soon comes out the other side and stops at a bus stop as Tsukasa gets up and walks to the door. "This is your stop kid, don't get killed."

Tsukasa Twitches a bit and walks out. "Right I will keep that in mind."

Tsukasa looks around while walking. "Wow this place is umm different."

-

Please note, you start all your sentences the same way. Noun action. You essentially write in the: "The Dog eats" format. Then reading "Tsuksa" followed by "the bus driver" so many times was combuersome. Try throwing in some variety in how you address the characters. Examples of alternate ways you could have addressed the characters are: "boy", "Man", "student", "government worker", or even "strange being". Seeing the same words reoccur some many times in a row has a tendency to make you lose readers by the way.

It was because of similar recurrences throughout this chapter you lost three points.

Then you lost one points on grammar:

Your most reoccuring problem is your difficulty in knowing when to place commas.

Let's look at an example:

"Ow that hurt, Hey are you ok Miss."

Next point off: The comma comes after "ow" because Ow is an interjection. All interjections cause a break in the flow of a setence and should either have a period/exclamation/question mark or a comma following it. Second. "That hurt" should have a period. It's a complete idea already. The same could be said from "hey...miss." 'Hey' needs to be followed by a comma and 'are you ok' should be followed by a question mark because it asks a question. Not a period. Periods are used to state statements.

You also got marked down on logic.

The first question is how does Tsuksa have his Deca-driver? Natsumi isn't there to play prophet and pick it up for him. Wataru isn't here to tell him he is Decade either. How does a boy who has no memories of the past ( it was stated

in your summery) know how to be Decade? And knows what to do as Decade? (He didn't have his befuddlement like Tsuksa did in the series either)

The last point you gotten marked down on is Tsukasa's characterization and excution.

Now, I may be horrible at writing in character, but then again the vast majority of us are.

Tsukasa's word choice often comes across as rude and it is because of his incredibly sharp tongue. He takes pictures without people's consent consistently and he usually pisses most people initially because he is that rude. However, you made him amazingly polite when MOka is involved. This action seems like you are bending Tsukasa's character to make him a shoe-in for Tsukune.

I like your idea, however there are several ways this fanfic could be improved. I wish you luck.
8/29/2009 c2 Genesic Megaman X
LOL, Decade in Youkai Academy? Man, the evil demons won't know what hit them.

I myself have started watching Kamen Rider Decade(Also the FIRST Rider series I watch) ever since some of my friends showed me the scenes of the series. All I can say is I LOVE the series.

Anyway, do update when your laptop is fixed. Although I do wonder will Narutaki and his whole "Decade, You Must Die" phrase show up in this story?
7/22/2009 c2 dragon-cloud16
Kamen Rider Decade in Rosario+Vampire? I can see the world hopping rider passing through but how will he gain the other cards and powers of Decade? And will Diend make a appearance?
7/1/2009 c2 brave kid
whoa cool story,i wonder what going to happen in the next chapter,please do your best ok
6/30/2009 c2 7Teturo
Interesting twist, why did Kurumu's charm cause Kadoya pain?
6/29/2009 c1 brave kid
whoa cool start to a great story, i can't wait to see what will happen next
6/29/2009 c1 6WilliamBandet
not bad. Just a few grammer errors, but they can be easily forgoten with how well you put it together. I can't wait for more my friend. Bandet out!
6/28/2009 c1 cabrera1234
a decade version nice to bad nobody did a den-o version.
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