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for Unmie no akai ito

7/24/2010 c2 karin223
wow great job on the story. can you please please update? its been over a freaking year and u haven't updated. that makes me i like the mixture of the characters that you put but the main ppl are ichi and ruki right?

well keep going please
7/18/2009 c2 Luv Syaoran
This chapter was good! Syaoran showed up who yeah! I just love Syaoran and Sakura. I hope to see them more as th story goes on.
7/8/2009 c1 29Aquile Storm
Hiya Cherry-chan~

First of all, I have to say I really like the title! I know, that's something uncommon to mention, but I like that myth (do you call it a myth?) ever since my olden days of watching Ranma 1/2 XD

Okay, back to it. I'd have to mention about the character mix in this (though since I rarely watch anime these days, their images conjure up late in my mind XD), I like it~! It adds to the blend of the characters, but don't overdo it... too many isn't good; I can't seem to remember which is which (or maybe that's JUST me XD)

And I absolutely adore how you described Mizuki and Rukia at the beginning of the chapter. I find the language there is simple beautiful ^^ And I like how you always describe every character that appears in this, since, like I said I hardly know the Naruto characters (other than the usual three XD) so it helps.

Since this is AU, I can applaud you for the relationships in this (like cousin-relationship between Rukia and Mizuki- did I mention I simply love that name? ;D and also Ichigo-Kaien, though I've read that a few times at other places :D)

At the beginning of the chapter, you wrote "Okimasu (get up)! Soshite doa o akete (and open the door)!" To me, I feel that that's a bit tedious. Because I can understand the words without the translation, it's a bit weird reading them twice. I think you should either stick to English there or make a glossary note at your first or last A/N :)

Grammar-wise, I think you're quite adequate in it :D But there's a few mistakes in your punctuations (Sorry, I'm fussy like that DX) like missing periods at the end of dialogues and a few absent apostrophes in it (some words mean different things with the addiction/lack of the apostrophe)

In a nutshell, just a bit of brushing up on the punctuation parts (haha, sometimes I get too distracted by them, it's sad T_T) and your scenes (I think some, like the plane scene, *can* be deleted without messing up the plot ;D) but I think that's all I can say here... :D

Good luck in this, Cherry-chan :D Ganbatte!
7/6/2009 c2 no name
Ha you updated! Man i thought it would be Ichigo! but instead Syaoran. I liked to have a ramen eating contest with Naruto! This was a good chapter! again! hahah update as soon as you can and when you feel like it k
7/6/2009 c2 13ScarlettKunai
This chapter was a little hard to follow; it jumped around a bit.

A little advice about Itachi-sama: He's quiet. Even when he was younger, before Madara and Danzou and the Elders and all that jazz, he was very quiet, very polite, and, of course, remember that he is a genius. When he speaks, it is to the point. Short, sweet, and honest.

And yes...I thought it was Ichigo...I'm slightly annoyed with myself for expecting the obvious...

Keep it up!
7/6/2009 c2 2wayoshi
long chapters, that's good
7/6/2009 c1 13ScarlettKunai
...What have you done to me? (Lolz, jk. I've always been Rangiku to my friends and half of them call me that, so it's kind of confusing when I read about her).

Anywhore...nice start. You may want to add more detail...And you need to balance out the dialouge with names and more detail of the situation...And be careful with your punctuation...

I couldn't help but notice you mentioned Itachi-sama...But no Sempai...Hm, I'm so used to them being mentioned together by now...Make sure that your readers will be able to understand the situation; as the writer, it's easy to simply forget and assume that everyone will understand as well as you do. Other than that...

It's interesting so far...Rangiku-chan was in character, so were most everyone...Keep it up!
7/6/2009 c2 19Hiroen Nnir
...Uzumaki Yue... I'm Naruto's big sister! that's your big idea! what! did I really say all that? Itachi, artitect, and all? haha I can't remember! when you said surprise, now I know you meant it!

but back to the story! good detail in the buildings, although when the time calls for it you might want to change the way you narrorate, more professional ya kno? other than that it's good so far!
7/6/2009 c2 3RukiaDeathKuchiki
great job i love it i give it like 100 stars maybe more
7/6/2009 c1 37emichii
hi! cherryblossom snow-chan! :)

first of all, i wanna say good work for taking on a tricky story. ive done crossovers myself, but using 5 different anime is definitely going to get hard. so do your best!

okay. so firstly, sometimes the sentences and writing comes off a bit uncomfortable. you might want to check your tenses. i personally have a bit of trouble with tenses too! a good way to make sure your sentences flow off the tongue well and dont sound strange is to read it over again before updating.

another thing, using commas is okay! for example in this sentence here:

Rukia was walking around not really looking at where she was too busy looking at the beautiful lounge.

it might be a good idea to put in commas, to separate different phrases. for example:

Rukia was walking around, not really looking at where she was going; she was too busy looking at the beautiful lounge.

this prevents the sentence from looking messy and confusing the reader.

i like what you've done with putting the various characters into a world together, and associating them through businesses and such.

okay, so that's all i have to say! keep up the good work and do your best!

7/6/2009 c2 ichiruki rockz
I was so sure that it was Ichigo that Rukia ran into! It was Syaoran! and Ichigo and Sakura from CCS? I didn't see that one. Who is that person at the end? This was a good chapter!

hahaha the ramen eating contest! Mizuki seems like a colorful character. Is she you that you put in the story? anyways update!
7/5/2009 c1 Luv Syaoran
I want to see more SS since it say that it is also an Syaoran and Sakura couple. It better be in the second chap cuz i'll be waiting for it to come out.

Like how you got these 5 different animes and put them into one story. never seen it so it seems interesting so I'll keep reading. U BETTER UPDATE SOON! :P
7/2/2009 c1 19Hiroen Nnir
Hey yo! heheh you know who I am right... you had better! anyway!

Great start by the way, a lot is going on and many questions waiting to be answered! but really how many characters! their so many! it's gonna get good!

Peace out! Pauli!
6/30/2009 c1 Syaosaku4ever
5 different anime into one story, I haven't seen that before! I want to see how this story turns out. good job by the way
6/30/2009 c1 ichiruki rockz
Damn it who is it? I need to know! is it Ichigo? or someone else? your just confusing me! seriously update ASAP! this is actually good and it seem interesting so I'll be waiting for your update. Akizuki! I remember her, hey will there be more CCS? hope so
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