for not ever9/11/2009 c1 
2Kevin Edwards
That was good for a first time! but I think you should try a yaoi next...lolz! A Itasasu mehbeh! or a Narusasu? lolz! just do what you think would go together...but you can't use my story ideas! lolz! let me know how it turns out! I'll be waiting!
2Kevin EdwardsThat was good for a first time! but I think you should try a yaoi next...lolz! A Itasasu mehbeh! or a Narusasu? lolz! just do what you think would go together...but you can't use my story ideas! lolz! let me know how it turns out! I'll be waiting!
7/2/2009 c1 10Texascowgirl-13
This is pretty good for your first story. The only thing I would suggest is to break up your speech into seperate paragraphs so that it doesn't all run together and watch your parentheses(they're a little bit lacking in some places). Other than that I think it was pretty good for your first story and you stayin in character pretty well. ^-^
10Texascowgirl-13This is pretty good for your first story. The only thing I would suggest is to break up your speech into seperate paragraphs so that it doesn't all run together and watch your parentheses(they're a little bit lacking in some places). Other than that I think it was pretty good for your first story and you stayin in character pretty well. ^-^