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for The Pecking Order

3/11/2013 c2 Guest
nce job so far
3/14/2011 c2 26Capital WHY
That was TOO funny! If you ever redo the story, it should end with all the girls agreeing to have a fair rivalry only to see Ash approaching with Cilan and (more importantly) Iris by his side. Now THAT would be hilarious. XD

ANYways, excellent work, I laughed SOOOO hard at some of the things, I mean, really, I only wish it was longer. ;)

Great, great job. I'm so glad I read this.

Finessefully,

X

P.S. I was REALLY little, but I saw the second episode on its debut in America. :) I missed the first, though. :/
7/17/2010 c2 86iamlongstockings
Lol, nice. I'll be waiting for the next chapter.
7/17/2009 c2 92Bialy
Hahaha! I really enjoyed this :3 Very neatly put together, convincing characteristics on the three girls...and I will admit I loved the end. Yes, mom trumps all. Every time.

Thought Misty is DEFINITELY the girl for Ash
7/13/2009 c2 The Kyuubi maiden
Nice story my friend iam a little upset that u didnt add me as a fav author i hope u know who this is if not here is a little hint... ITS RHONDA !
7/11/2009 c1 Raspberries123
*applaudes* wow! this is so good! uve even portrayed the characters personalities incredibly well too! they sound exactly as they would from the series! great job!
7/10/2009 c2 5pokemonSLR
wow lol

mother knows best lolz
7/10/2009 c2 1Vivronkasaur
oh whoops. read the nonstory text from the first chapter XD nevermind the continuity-thing.
7/10/2009 c1 Vivronkasaur
told you this already, but awesome job ^-^

and i see you're continuing this?

it's quite different from your other story. it's like the best of both worlds :P
7/9/2009 c2 Steveaaml
Ha! I totaly agree with your hierarchy!

I'm a fairly large fan of contestshipping, but I totaly love how you had the Brock/Ivy thing happen with May and Drew.

"Nearby Professor Ivy felt a chill run down her neck." -super funny.
7/9/2009 c2 Im-not-here123
so... is that the end? or is there still more to come? I saw that thing at the bottom that said 'see you in the next chapter!' but I thought that meant the next chapter of your other story.. I could be mistaken though
7/9/2009 c2 60Virgo Writer
I agree with your food chain, although if you're of the persuasion of Pikachu being a girl, then you've got to put her at least par to Mrs. K. I'm actually kinda glad it ended this way. when I read that the person you wrote it for hated you, I thought it was going to end with something terrible like ability or baseball (makes totally disgusted face), and a mother-son moment is nice and sweet.

Good job.
7/9/2009 c1 5pokemonSLR
wow- i like this story

i kinda got the hint about may and drew lol

cool why dont you have a realy spiteful mean girl



i have an oc like that in my fanfic and it realy made my story strong, because of this oc mixed around the shippings = perfect!
7/8/2009 c1 18FirestormAngelBlaze
Well, this sounds rather interesting.

The only Pokemon I can watch now are reruns of Diamond and Pearl - and it's somewhat confusing as to how many goddamned seasons have gone by. Pokemon was my childhood and now its ruined with maturity as I realized how ridiculous the anime/cartoon(?) can be and how annoying the characters (especially Ash) are.

So what am I doing in this category?...i have not a clue but I'm kinda intrigued by this story. I've noticed, Ash never seems to age AND is always being dogged by a girl, an apparent "team-mate." in crude wording, His Bitch.

If you're offended by this I'm sorry but the years have made me cynical..and I can't really enjoy the film anymore (unfortunately.)

But yeah, I'd like to see you explore the dynamics of each relationship Ash has with Misty, May and Dawn (I though there was more...?) May grates on my nerves the least :)

Wrapping up this somewhat rambling review - good luck with the story.

Ja Ne! :D :)

FirestormangelBlaze
7/8/2009 c1 60Virgo Writer
Not a bad start so far. I usually don't like love squares (because I hate not knowing who Ash will pick 'til the end) but you write quite well, and I like that it's not going to be drawn out. I'm looking forward to see who's the girl - hopefully Misty, although I'm sure you've already made that decision.

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