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for Chekov Can't Lie

10/29/2009 c8 4karmapolice28
awe ^0^ they're gonna give it a go!

favorite dialog:

S:"you are not wearing a shirt."

J:"no,i'm not..."

i lawld so bad xD

btw...this would be epic if some random smut *happened nudge nudge*
10/27/2009 c8 gone5eva
Oh, this is so squishy and cute! Is there going to be lots of "touching"?
10/26/2009 c8 37demonlifehealer
YAY! Spock confessed! I am so happy and that line at the end. " You can only touch me off duty capatin!" Classic Spock! Yay! Please update soon!
10/26/2009 c8 19bulletproofweeks
Fantastic! Where has this story been hiding from me? This is great. Checkov is friggin' adorable and I like the idea of everyone knowing except Jim. Everything has progressed perfectly and this last chapter was terrific! I love the ending and I giggle any time either of them blush.

I thought the awkward conversation was... not to undermine their manliness but... adorable! PLEASE post your next chapter soon and a sequel would be very very very exciting!
10/26/2009 c8 52SpirkTrekker42
That was so adorable! *sighs* Great ending :)
10/26/2009 c8 plasticblue
i love the part when spock walks in and jim is almost butt naked!
10/25/2009 c8 3if i were real
giggle *snort*

GOD THIS HAS ME PRATTICALLY PISSING MYSELF! XD

though i do request that you make sure to change lines anytime someone new starts to speek, if u wernt so bloody funny i would 'av stopped reading ages ago... its a bit of a pet peev of mine, ANYWAYS am loving, keep up the funny XD
10/25/2009 c8 3knp10
Aww.. I loved it! I would love a sequel! Please please please (gets on knees and begs) lol yay I love happy endings, GREAT job!
10/25/2009 c8 Good Vibes
Yay you updated! I would love a sequel.
10/25/2009 c8 59MirrorFlower and DarkWind
nice i loved it lol it was just perfect great job
10/5/2009 c7 Bubbly714
aw ! poor chekov cant catch a break xD

but YEA spock is here ! hehe cnt wait for the next chapter =D
8/11/2009 c7 liarscope
cuteness! i love chekov
8/7/2009 c7 2sunloathe
This is so perfect and funny. xD I'd love to know what happens next! (Also I love how you're sneaking in a little Sulu/Chekov haha!)
8/4/2009 c7 37demonlifehealer
I love this in ways that can hardly ever be understood! Please, Please! Update soon and let's have some Sulu and Chekov action! Woot!
8/3/2009 c7 Inigo Montoya
That word, I don't think it meant what you think it means...

Anyway. Your accents- are off. I can't understand what Chekov is saying MOST of the time. I don't really know what you're basing them off of, but first off, I suggest you kind of rework that.

For instance:

You have ben rite'n like this fo' Scotty, while it'd be perfectly acceptable to write like this for Scotty. He's Scottish, but you're not changing the American accents around to sound American. And besides a few words that we probably wouldn't use across the sea and all that, it's really a very similar speech pattern.

Sowwy, but I don't know vhat is happening duwing times wen Chekov speaks. He also, based on which letters you're changing, has a Scandonavian accent. Like Dracula.

While really, there is a good chance that he would be able to talk perfectly normal, with perhaps a few (FEW) misplaced words a little bit, and if you were to ewer have any hard Vs, meaning ones that don't have a sort of 'f' ish sound like the one in 'have,' but instead are... um... harsh and blunt-ish, like the one in 'Vulcan.' Chekov would say 'Ulcan" or "Wulcan" if he tried to say 'Vulcan'. You would change them to double yous. This is what the Chekov in the movie does, anyway. I don't particularly think it's entirely accurate, but still, it's canon.

Also, when a character finishes their own line, you have to go down to a new paragraph before starting the next line.

For instance:

Sue really liked crackers. "I really like crackers." she said, a little too dramatically.

Peter raised a single eyebrow. "Alrighty then..." He said, not knowing quite what to say.

You've kind of been mish mashing all of this together, like this:

Sue really liked crackers. "I really like crackers." she said, a little too dramatically. Peter raised a single eyebrow. "Alrighty then..." He said, not knowing quite what to say.

Gramatically speaking, this second version means a completely different thing. It does, in fact mean that Sue is the only one talking and that she either transformed into a boy at some point or the author let loose a freudian slip in referring to Sue as 'he' after referring to her as 'she.'

And the reason I'm bothering to tell you this: It's actually good! This has been making me laugh! It's just that the lay out and spelling and small, easily fixable things aren't done correctly! If you know what a beta reader is, you should probably get one. We all need one, believe me. Or, if not, perhaps read through your own things a few times before posting them?

Please, please don't take this as an insult. I really do think your work is good. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother in trying to help you with it.
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