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for Surrender To Me

10/19/2013 c2 3Talena Mae
Hehehe, Toshiro is my favorite from bleach. A gain a few spelling errors (like at the beggining you have 'Serenity walk in')

But I am enjoying reading this.
1/1/2010 c3 soul eater
i think toshiro shold sind hey julie just replace da name

and serenity shold sing bad boy or everytime we touch by cascada or one of them
12/21/2009 c2 882Yemi Hikari
Well... her name is an English one, yet all the other characters in Bleach have Japanese or Spanish names, for the most part... not to mention, a bunch of the other OC's have English names...

She also would not have become captain the way that she did. First off, the three ways to become a captain of the Gotei thirteen are this, to pass a captain's test, to have a certain approval amount, or kill the former taicho in front of two hundred of the division members. Obviously, she didn't do the third, and the fourth didn't happen, as only Yamamoto really passed approval on her. As for a captain's test... I have to say, this wouldn't have been it, simply because for one thing, the Fukutaicho wouldn't have at all been involved. Second, they would have given ALL the captain canidite's a chance. And third, just because she has a lot of strenght, doesn't mean that she is fit for the position of captain. They also test personality, and whit. As for that deal that she made with Yamamoto, it was one that he could not possibly keep, nor would he agree to.

And, not only is the relationship rushed, Toshiro is rather... OoC, out of character. He isn't Toshiro... he's instantly falling for a girl, and he is the kind of person who has not really noticed females. He would be more questioning of what was going on.

And, you do realize that, it is very likely that none of those songs are in public domain. Site rules specificlly says, one is NOT allowed to use song lyrics not in public domain, and there is the fact that... just because you can find the words on the net, doesn't mean free to use.
11/29/2009 c2 21FinDeiRoma
please write some more of this amazing story. imnot one of the gusher peoples. i just really think it was amazing. i can tell you tried to keep shiro-san in character. i knew he has a soft side!
10/12/2009 c2 Chelsea-san
Like how this is going.
7/29/2009 c2 39Evilhumour Author
verry funny, but seems out of character for TOshiro
7/25/2009 c1 erina destiny
interesting story.. update soon!
7/24/2009 c1 Evilhumour Author

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