
2/6/2010 c6 Fear the Fryingpan
How did this start off wrong? I thought you were doing a great job and following teh game well. Or am I just not reemembering a certain part? And is Akira the green boy?
How did this start off wrong? I thought you were doing a great job and following teh game well. Or am I just not reemembering a certain part? And is Akira the green boy?
9/26/2009 c5
16Akizakura202
Not bad, not bad . . . I think I need to reread this thing already, though XD Akira lost his heart, did he?

Not bad, not bad . . . I think I need to reread this thing already, though XD Akira lost his heart, did he?
8/4/2009 c4 kouha
I remember this. C|
And when you are making a pun on the word "brunette" you have to write the colour, put a hyphen, and then the ...word(?) "nette" xD
I remember this. C|
And when you are making a pun on the word "brunette" you have to write the colour, put a hyphen, and then the ...word(?) "nette" xD
7/31/2009 c3 kouha
xD Acting like xena now, huh? xD
Eh, shouldn't you fix the last two chapters with the edits I gave you? :/
xD Acting like xena now, huh? xD
Eh, shouldn't you fix the last two chapters with the edits I gave you? :/
7/27/2009 c2 Akizakura202
Oi, not bad. You should probably read through these before you post them, however, there are a lot of spelling mistakes; most prominent was "dessert" instead of "desert." Also, for numbers under a hundred, proper grammar dictates that you spell them out :) It's kinda breezy, so you may want to slow it down a little, or at least embellish.
Oi, not bad. You should probably read through these before you post them, however, there are a lot of spelling mistakes; most prominent was "dessert" instead of "desert." Also, for numbers under a hundred, proper grammar dictates that you spell them out :) It's kinda breezy, so you may want to slow it down a little, or at least embellish.
7/27/2009 c1 kouha
This is really good (chapter 2 as well) but there are quite a few errors. Do you want me to Beta for you?
This is really good (chapter 2 as well) but there are quite a few errors. Do you want me to Beta for you?