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4/6/2019 c17 Guest
how soon would you upload the next part
1/9/2019 c17 Guest
Ahhh poor Ed! Baby youre so stressed! And uhoh I was wondering when Envy would enter the fray! Abby and Ed bonding and Gibbs and Ed bonding is something i never knew i needed but now cannot live without my god

I cant imagine this is gonna update but i love it and if it ever did update ill be righ hrre to support it!
9/1/2018 c2 Guest
Defiantly? You mean defiNITEly.

Fucking hell.
9/1/2018 c1 Guest
Y'know what, fuck you and your atrocious spelling. You can't even get your "your", "you're" and "their", "they're", "there" and even some simple spelling correct!

Geezus. Smh.
8/29/2018 c17 Statess1
Why did u stop this!
It is amazing
8/8/2018 c17 Guest
por favor actualiza
6/26/2018 c17 8Mystic Piss
Love this story! Holy cow! So good! You're a great writer!
I don't know if it'll ever get updated, but man, I'd love to see the reuinion between Ed, Al and Ling! (but mostly Ed and Al)
5/7/2018 c17 Dragon
No! I reached the end! Man I really liked this story. Maybe you can come back to it one day.
12/1/2016 c17 2ElizabethBathog
The story is good but you need to work on your spelling and grammar. The last chapter made me confused... What's going on is Gibbs hurt or not? I hope you still planning on finish this! The story is good or i wouldn't have read it! :)
9/7/2016 c15 2Munchkin-Knight
I just had an image of Ed on leash. He does not look happy...
5/8/2016 c4 PhantomGuest
Ok, considering it's been 6 years since you last updated this story it probably doesn't matter if I review or not, that and you'll probably never read it. But if you do I hope you will take these as suggestions, not criticisms, and work to improve your story.

First of all I was excited when I saw this thinking this would be a awesome crossover because I love both NCIS & Fullmetal. I could only make it to chapter 4...

1: Edward knees Tony in the stomach. Tony is 6'1". Is Edward tall enough to knee Tony in the stomach while Ziva is holding on to him? Later it's Edward *kicked* Tony, this makes much more sense.
2: Abby only fingerprints his left hand. Law enforcement always prints both hands. Even if the weapon had only a left hand print on it they would print both hands to run for previous crimes. I know this is a problem for your story but you'll have to think another way around Edwards automail.
3: Abby is standing right there when Tony grabs the syringe and stabs Edward for a blood sample. Later you have her screaming at him like she never knew it happened. Really? If Tony did something wrong collecting evidence Abby would noticed it and would have corrected it right then and there.
4: Edward asks about clothes while in the shower because he realizes his are full of blood and doesn't want to put them back on. Edward is then walking around carrying his bloody clothes after his shower only to hand them off to Tony with no mention of a bag, compromising the evidence. If you are taken in from a crime scene with bloody clothes that the police think are the victims blood, they are going to confiscate, bag & tag your clothes the very first thing for evidence.
5: Typos... For example: after Tony calls Edward squirt... "HOW ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE CAN DROWN IN A PUDDLE!?"... Shouldn't that be "Who are you calling so small that they could drown in a puddle"? Or something to that effect? What you have makes no sense.

Now that you are older and wiser with more experience, I hope you will re-visit this story and improve it into the masterpiece it could be.
4/4/2016 c17 Winged Serpent of Light - BOTM
PLEASE KEEP WRITING!
2/24/2016 c17 Guest
more? Please?
11/25/2015 c17 Guest
Update?
8/13/2015 c17 2Sherlock's Pipe And Hat
it…stopped? *sobs*
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