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for what really grinds mi gears

7/10/2015 c2 Guest
This sucks really badly. Learn how to spell and rant about something inportant
3/14/2012 c2 Chika
You're annoying, and you can't spell. GTFO.
7/18/2010 c1 2FoReVeR mOrE sHaWn
Uhmm lol intresting...hehe...heh. What is with this thou? (not a flame!) I like the idea but the writing is like what squaids said "patchy" its like a quilt that has different patches of cloth just thrown on to complet it. sorry not the best...but not the wrost either. cont. practice makes perfict
3/4/2010 c2 Squaids
WARNING: THIS IS A FLAME!

_

First of all, I do appriciate that you took the time to type this up. This isn't a 'your story is horrible, don't post anymore' flame. This is simply what I think of it.

First, you are indeed spelling 'my' wrong. If it's for comic reasons, like 'Hellow' or something along those lines, then ignore this part. However, if it's you simply doing it just to do it, I suggest not doing it.

Your reasons for the character 'really grinding your gears' are rather... illogical and inarticulate. They make no sense. Perhaps you should think a little bit before actually writing it down? Simply THINK.

Capitalization and punctuation. Characters names? Those should be capitalized. Sentences can't start with 'and'. Watch for run on sentences. 'dumb ass hell that's what he is' doesn't make sense, and I'm not saying that because I actually like Naruto.

Patchy. The whole thing is a bit patchy. It has no flow to it, and the transition is a little weird. Perhaps you should try and connect them in a way, so it seems like 'This is what really grinds my gears, and this reminded me of something else that really grinds my gears'. You know?

DONE: THE REST ARE GOOD COMMENTS

_

Yo. Alright, the idea is fairly good. So many people praise Masashi Kishimoto, which is a good thing, because he worked hard on it, but I think that most of this is supposed to be comical(except for Sakura and Ino), so it's actually pretty funny. While it might be a little too short, it's a quick and easy read, and some people like that, if they want to read something that doesn't take to long, if they are, for example, waiting for something to download.

Good job. Just watch for the other things. xD
12/6/2009 c1 Maria
Best fanfic evar !
8/29/2009 c1 Guest
日本語?これは何ですか?
8/16/2009 c1 Hannah
No. Just no.

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