for The Raikage12/27/2021 c14 Guest
Naruto ordered his soldiers not to help him, because if he died he can die saying IMMA A FAGGET.
Naruto ordered his soldiers not to help him, because if he died he can die saying IMMA A FAGGET.
12/14/2021 c3 Username6166
Yet again, every single paragraph adds another block of text of new spammed info that are impossible to remember, especially with the bajillion more added OCs.
Yet again, every single paragraph adds another block of text of new spammed info that are impossible to remember, especially with the bajillion more added OCs.
12/14/2021 c2 Username6166
Waaaaaay too much info spammed in this chapter, especially with the bajillion random OCs and random OC titles that seem like they are supposed to give backstory to certain events when in fact they are completely worthless and would be forgotten in 20 seconds, especially since in 20 seconds the reader goes through another bajillion random things and so on.
Waaaaaay too much info spammed in this chapter, especially with the bajillion random OCs and random OC titles that seem like they are supposed to give backstory to certain events when in fact they are completely worthless and would be forgotten in 20 seconds, especially since in 20 seconds the reader goes through another bajillion random things and so on.
12/14/2021 c1 Username6166
F*ck the council, The Hokage is the sole militaristic dictator of the village. Tsunade could slaughter them right there and then and it would be completely legal.
F*ck the council, The Hokage is the sole militaristic dictator of the village. Tsunade could slaughter them right there and then and it would be completely legal.
11/7/2021 c4 
25Logicalillogical
Lmao. It took Naruto a month to learn the rasengan. Not a week. By the time he made that bet with Tsunade, he was already practicing with the rasengan for weeks.
25LogicalillogicalLmao. It took Naruto a month to learn the rasengan. Not a week. By the time he made that bet with Tsunade, he was already practicing with the rasengan for weeks.
10/30/2021 c3 3dragonmanb
Ok i liked your story so far. But you made a HUGE mistake in this chapter. You created to many charcters and went into too much details. I noticed this in the last chapter too. I honestly dont think you need over half of those charcters and if you did you could have gotten a way with xxx the leader/head of xxxx squard/organiztion/clan. This story has huge potenial but you went off tanget.
3dragonmanbOk i liked your story so far. But you made a HUGE mistake in this chapter. You created to many charcters and went into too much details. I noticed this in the last chapter too. I honestly dont think you need over half of those charcters and if you did you could have gotten a way with xxx the leader/head of xxxx squard/organiztion/clan. This story has huge potenial but you went off tanget.
10/5/2021 c2 Guest
get a fucking beta
get a fucking beta
10/4/2021 c8 Some guy
So you can stay here cause it might pull us into the war..bit here a bunch of village secretsand the premise of how the raikage does his advance technique... I get you want to explain how his jutsu works and paint a vivid picture but explaining it to what amounts to future enemy's that just spastic.
So you can stay here cause it might pull us into the war..bit here a bunch of village secretsand the premise of how the raikage does his advance technique... I get you want to explain how his jutsu works and paint a vivid picture but explaining it to what amounts to future enemy's that just spastic.
10/1/2021 c3 Me
You are dumping too much information in one go about the clans. Some 14 odd people each having three paragraphs minimum is too much and stalls the story. It is nice to get some background on important characters, you've done this at the expense of progression. When you dump that much info on a reader it becomes a chore to get through it.
You are dumping too much information in one go about the clans. Some 14 odd people each having three paragraphs minimum is too much and stalls the story. It is nice to get some background on important characters, you've done this at the expense of progression. When you dump that much info on a reader it becomes a chore to get through it.
9/1/2021 c19 staymad
My opinion is this fic is horrible
0-Dimensional Characters with little to no character development. You purposely made your fave characters to OP and too out of place in the Naruto world.
The MC is the problem, he's too much of an Edgelord, now don't get me wrong I like Grey!/Smart! Naruto stories, but this is straight up edgy and emo Naruto. His reasons for hating Konoha are mostly dumb, and one-sided. His hate is unneeded
World-building is horrible, and Plot holes are everywhere
There is no Development between characters in this fic, you just made the best Naruto characters straight up dislikeable and horrible. The relationship between his wives is terrible, mostly them just hitting Naruto and him retreating or surrendering to their 'wrath'. This just made Naruto's Personality useless
My opinion is this fic is horrible
0-Dimensional Characters with little to no character development. You purposely made your fave characters to OP and too out of place in the Naruto world.
The MC is the problem, he's too much of an Edgelord, now don't get me wrong I like Grey!/Smart! Naruto stories, but this is straight up edgy and emo Naruto. His reasons for hating Konoha are mostly dumb, and one-sided. His hate is unneeded
World-building is horrible, and Plot holes are everywhere
There is no Development between characters in this fic, you just made the best Naruto characters straight up dislikeable and horrible. The relationship between his wives is terrible, mostly them just hitting Naruto and him retreating or surrendering to their 'wrath'. This just made Naruto's Personality useless
9/1/2021 c19 staymad
My opinion is this fic is horrible
1. 0-Dimensional Characters with little to no character development. You purposely made your fave characters to OP and too out of place in the Naruto world.
2. The MC is the problem, he's too much of an Edgelord, now don't get me wrong I like Grey!/Smart! Naruto stories, but this is straight up edgy and emo Naruto. His reasons for hating Konoha are mostly dumb, and one-sided. His hate is unneeded
3. World-building is horrible, and Plot holes are everywhere
4. There is no Development between characters in this fic, you just made the best Naruto characters straight up dislikeable and horrible. The relationship between his wives is terrible, mostly them just hitting Naruto and him retreating or surrendering to their 'wrath'. This just made Naruto's Personality useless
My opinion is this fic is horrible
1. 0-Dimensional Characters with little to no character development. You purposely made your fave characters to OP and too out of place in the Naruto world.
2. The MC is the problem, he's too much of an Edgelord, now don't get me wrong I like Grey!/Smart! Naruto stories, but this is straight up edgy and emo Naruto. His reasons for hating Konoha are mostly dumb, and one-sided. His hate is unneeded
3. World-building is horrible, and Plot holes are everywhere
4. There is no Development between characters in this fic, you just made the best Naruto characters straight up dislikeable and horrible. The relationship between his wives is terrible, mostly them just hitting Naruto and him retreating or surrendering to their 'wrath'. This just made Naruto's Personality useless