for The Raikage4/7/2021 c1 lamthai316
Thus fic is interesting. I skipped through a lot though. Too much of over explanation of things. Unnessary Characters from bleach. Airships?
over 8k likes so I am in the minority of complaining.
Thus fic is interesting. I skipped through a lot though. Too much of over explanation of things. Unnessary Characters from bleach. Airships?
over 8k likes so I am in the minority of complaining.
4/2/2021 c4 Guest
This sucks. Plain & simple. Like few others mention it feels like I'm reading some report or like memorizing history geography answer. Too much occ, how they look, which person they are engaged to, backstories blah blah blah etc.
After 1st chapter I'm forcin it but I'm at my limit now so quieting it.
But still idea was good
This sucks. Plain & simple. Like few others mention it feels like I'm reading some report or like memorizing history geography answer. Too much occ, how they look, which person they are engaged to, backstories blah blah blah etc.
After 1st chapter I'm forcin it but I'm at my limit now so quieting it.
But still idea was good
3/13/2021 c19 Ihatehinata
Thank god this man stopped the series before he could get hinata and naruto together.
Thank god this man stopped the series before he could get hinata and naruto together.
3/12/2021 c13 
18Luciendar
I truly hope they didn't just let orochimaru get away only to get him later. That's stupid. Holding all the girls back was already stupid. Letting Orochimaru go is arrogant. They should've at least killed him. Naruto still could've fought his dad. I get that you've got a plan but it looks bad.
18LuciendarI truly hope they didn't just let orochimaru get away only to get him later. That's stupid. Holding all the girls back was already stupid. Letting Orochimaru go is arrogant. They should've at least killed him. Naruto still could've fought his dad. I get that you've got a plan but it looks bad.
3/12/2021 c10 Luciendar
I've noticed you do a lot more explaining than anything. A story should be an experience for the reader. Much of this story is like listening to an oral report, all details with no substance.
I've noticed you do a lot more explaining than anything. A story should be an experience for the reader. Much of this story is like listening to an oral report, all details with no substance.
3/11/2021 c3 Luciendar
Another chapter of relentless backstory. Of course, this time it was accompanied with more OC's than you can shake a stick at. At this point I wouldn't be surprised to read three pages of information over a second son's third brother who had a fishing business and married his best friend girl. It's all irrelevant drivel.
I understand that this is all an attempt to give these characters depth and personality. It's just too much at once. If you were going to add so many OCs you should've only focused on three important ones.
Another chapter of relentless backstory. Of course, this time it was accompanied with more OC's than you can shake a stick at. At this point I wouldn't be surprised to read three pages of information over a second son's third brother who had a fishing business and married his best friend girl. It's all irrelevant drivel.
I understand that this is all an attempt to give these characters depth and personality. It's just too much at once. If you were going to add so many OCs you should've only focused on three important ones.
3/11/2021 c2 Luciendar
Christ! I mean, I barely wanted to finish this chapter. Sure, the story is good but you're way too freaking wordy. Exposition and backstory needs to be spread out, but you decided to cram it all in together. Not to mention how much of it wasn't even necessary. I kinda wonder if you were just trying to increase your word count. That much backstory was just insane. Not to mention most of it wasn't even very interesting. Don't forcefully stretch out something that can be covered on a few paragraphs to twenty. I mean, is the marriage of this princess really that important to the story because you spent a lot of time covering it? Kill me now if thr rest of this story it's just a written form of verbal diarrhea.
I know that was harsh and rude, but you wrapped up the best part of this chapter in a few paragraphs while the rest was incredibly drawn out. I'm exasperated.
Christ! I mean, I barely wanted to finish this chapter. Sure, the story is good but you're way too freaking wordy. Exposition and backstory needs to be spread out, but you decided to cram it all in together. Not to mention how much of it wasn't even necessary. I kinda wonder if you were just trying to increase your word count. That much backstory was just insane. Not to mention most of it wasn't even very interesting. Don't forcefully stretch out something that can be covered on a few paragraphs to twenty. I mean, is the marriage of this princess really that important to the story because you spent a lot of time covering it? Kill me now if thr rest of this story it's just a written form of verbal diarrhea.
I know that was harsh and rude, but you wrapped up the best part of this chapter in a few paragraphs while the rest was incredibly drawn out. I'm exasperated.
3/11/2021 c1 Luciendar
An enjoyable first chapter, but many things seemed poorly thought out. Civilians wouldn't get a vote in shinobi affairs. You should've, instead, made up some lesser shinobi clans and had them vote, people Danzo could manipulate or clans that were bitter towards the kyubi. Also, while the whole "overruling thr hokage" bit was hard to swallow, the idea that the advisors and Danzo could keep blatant secrets from the hokage was even worse. Not to mention if it was that easy to kick Naruto out then it would've been fine whilst Hiruzen was still in power. I really wish you'd have put more thought into that.
Then you have them place two seals in him. Uh, what? How did they get permission for that? Was it a package deal with the banishment? Again, that wasn't well thought out.
Lastly, he would stop need chakra to open a blood seal. They wouldn't be very secure if you could just nick someone with a knife and open a seal like that.
An enjoyable first chapter, but many things seemed poorly thought out. Civilians wouldn't get a vote in shinobi affairs. You should've, instead, made up some lesser shinobi clans and had them vote, people Danzo could manipulate or clans that were bitter towards the kyubi. Also, while the whole "overruling thr hokage" bit was hard to swallow, the idea that the advisors and Danzo could keep blatant secrets from the hokage was even worse. Not to mention if it was that easy to kick Naruto out then it would've been fine whilst Hiruzen was still in power. I really wish you'd have put more thought into that.
Then you have them place two seals in him. Uh, what? How did they get permission for that? Was it a package deal with the banishment? Again, that wasn't well thought out.
Lastly, he would stop need chakra to open a blood seal. They wouldn't be very secure if you could just nick someone with a knife and open a seal like that.
3/9/2021 c7 2Tsunayoshi uzumaki
I like the concept to your story and I can kinda get past some of the errors and what not but I’m losing interest all I want is to see is Konoha’s reaction to naruto being alive but you are adding more than necessary bro. ima try to power thru it but I’m finding myself skipping through most of a chapter to get to that point. Above all your pacing need the most work good stuff tho
2Tsunayoshi uzumakiI like the concept to your story and I can kinda get past some of the errors and what not but I’m losing interest all I want is to see is Konoha’s reaction to naruto being alive but you are adding more than necessary bro. ima try to power thru it but I’m finding myself skipping through most of a chapter to get to that point. Above all your pacing need the most work good stuff tho
2/22/2021 c14 1Kazutouchiha
though I must say Tsunade doesn't have fault since even when she knew, she wanted to keep Naruto save where he could not die just like her precious people not that I mind this it's just sad how she is being treated at least for it's bad since I would do the same but try not to
1Kazutouchihathough I must say Tsunade doesn't have fault since even when she knew, she wanted to keep Naruto save where he could not die just like her precious people not that I mind this it's just sad how she is being treated at least for it's bad since I would do the same but try not to
2/13/2021 c1 119bwilcox
Usually I'm all about long stories, but this is horrible. I'll read and enjoy anything, but this is really bad. This is just my personal opinion, others probably enjoy it, but for me, there is way to much background information. I found myself skipping whole paragraphs because it was so monotonous. it felt like reading a college level textbook. Maybe try putting only necessary information in a chapter. Also, try breaking the info into more paragraphs. it's too long for most people to read. I'm a dedicated reader, it's all I spend my time on, and I just couldnt do it. It was just too dry, and dull. Other than that, if the info was more spead out, I'd really adore this book.
119bwilcoxUsually I'm all about long stories, but this is horrible. I'll read and enjoy anything, but this is really bad. This is just my personal opinion, others probably enjoy it, but for me, there is way to much background information. I found myself skipping whole paragraphs because it was so monotonous. it felt like reading a college level textbook. Maybe try putting only necessary information in a chapter. Also, try breaking the info into more paragraphs. it's too long for most people to read. I'm a dedicated reader, it's all I spend my time on, and I just couldnt do it. It was just too dry, and dull. Other than that, if the info was more spead out, I'd really adore this book.