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4/11 c31 Bob
No such thing as a Basketball
4/11 c29 Bob
No werewolves in Twilight. Those are just shapeshifter wolves. They change on thier own . Not by the moon.
4/11 c29 Bob
Vampires dont eat people. They drink peoples blood.
4/9 c1 Bob
Vampires dont eat people they bite them and drinkthier delicous blood. Boo
2/3 c45 cctwilight
This was a unique story! I enjoyed reading it.
1/11 c14 6Rikuriroxa
So, the story is good. Really it is.

But your Bella defies belief. At the end of the day, Bella is human. She can't beat vampires at video games. She can't surprise vampires and shove food in their faces. These are feats that require reaction times that are above human ability. She also can't hear vampires from 20 feet away. In a quiet room, it would be possible for her to pick up their voices from perhaps 5 feet away. But the human ear can't decipher a barely audible voice in a crowded cafeteria. Too much ambient noise.

Now, a human can beat a vampire at chess. Especially one with a photographic memory. A human can learn all she has learned at her age. It's unlikely. Generally speaking, even geniuses specialize. But it's possible.

Now, that doesn't mean her life can't remain basically the same. For one, Emmett simply refused to show his vampire abilities in a crowded cafeteria, so he had to take the pie shot. But both he and Bella would know that she didn't out speed him or surprise him. Her vampire caretakers let her win often at games to encourage her sense of competitiveness. Constantly losing tends to destroy that. She 'could' be able to her vampire whispering when she wraps her shield around them. Some kind of supernatural link to her mind.

At the end of the day, a good plot will almost always carry a story. Which thanks to your effort and the original from Stephanie Meyer, you have pieced together a good one. But you have created a weak character. And by that, I mean you have created a character with no weakness. No fault. No real struggle. Even Bella's original 'klutziness' has had all the teeth removed. A truly great character must have a flaw. Otherwise, all you have is a never-ending stream of gratification. Which, while this can be entertaining on the surface, it lacks depth.

Now, I don't know if you write as a hobby, or perhaps you're looking to pursue it in a more lucrative sense, but I just wanted to share some wisdom with you. For the longevity of a story, he need more than baseless gratification. All in all, thanks for the read. I will finish it and I am sure it will remain entertaining.
12/6/2023 c9 Guest
why is bella so spoiled its making my brokeass cringe
11/4/2023 c1 The Lunar Rose
I can't believe I actually found this again. I read this years ago on another site and couldn't find it anywhere for so long. So you can guess my surprise when I found it by randomly browsing for fics. I adore this story and can't wait to read it again.
8/9/2023 c9 LaurelLeafSinger
This is a fun story but I do wonder at Bella being so freely extravagant around the Cullens. All the things they are discussing are extremely expensive, and they surely are wondering about her extended European family, since Charlie couldn’t afford such things.

Ew, Mike!

Thanks, for sharing your creativity with us.
2/26/2023 c45 darkphoenixshadow
Thier age didn't slow down it stopped at 7 . Your writing your own version not the movie version. Your getting your story
2/26/2023 c44 darkphoenixshadow
Garlic don't hurt vampires nor crosses or holy water. That is just movie and tv . Also real vampires are not affected by the Sun.
2/25/2023 c41 darkphoenixshadow
For one thing Black outfits are old fashioned. It's about time someone realised that. Blue is much better.
2/25/2023 c40 darkphoenixshadow
Thier not Werewolves!
Thier indian shapeshifters.
Werewolves only change on a full moon.
Indian shapeshifters can change everyday of the year.
2/25/2023 c7 darkphoenixshadow
A chevy truck is a truck not a car. Saying a truck is a car is a disrespect to all cars. Long live the cars.
2/25/2023 c5 darkphoenixshadow
Mr. Cullen WAS with Aro and the rest for 400 years not 80 . Did you not watch the movie? is a old Vampire just not 4,000 years old like Aro .Yet a lot older then Esme and Edward.
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