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10/8/2009 c7 4ladybonheur

The story is getting really interesting and I'm really dying to read what happens next. But I think you could put some chapters together and make them longer, it's more pleasant to read this way. And, also, when you write things like "back to the present" and stuff, put them in italic or boldface so they'll be different from the rest of the text.
10/8/2009 c3 ladybonheur
I'm loving the story so far. The way you described the scenes was perfect and very realistic (I even had to stop for a minute, all of those bloody pictures in my mind were making my stomach swirl). I can't even imagine what's going to happen to Milla in Forks, which only makes me want to read more and more.

Just one small deatil: If Milla was bitten when she was eight, shouldn't she have become a vampire too? Or it'll be explained later on in the story?
10/5/2009 c1 11Madeline Cullen
Alrighty then, O was surprised when someone I don't recognize by penname asked me for this favor, but 'tis alright.

So some tips?

You set a nice Prologue. However, you said you were going to Italicize the speech? A big no-no. "" are more pleasing to the eye and italicizing speech and the showings of someone who is serious about writing.

Oh and don't put "End Prologue." People can assume it's done when they see the green button and press it.

Otherwise, 'tis a very awesome beginning to the story!

10/5/2009 c1 BellaRide28
Thank you so much for the wonderful compliment! And I was thrilled when you asked me to read your story... So, I checked it out right away. IT WAS AWESOME! This was a completely BRILLIANT idea, and I hope you continue! I can't wait for the next installment, so please update soon! I love where this is going, and there are no huge, glaring problems... Just a few spelling errors, but that's to be expected! I know that I for one have more than a few typos in my work... So, I'm glad that you liked my stories, and please update soon!

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