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10/24/2012 c2 3reina13
love it
9/26/2009 c1 8pinkienath
sorry for my bas english...i love the beginning of your fic ans spencer is my favorite caracter. I love the idea of hotchner is like a figure father for him and now he must stay with him...this story is a real good idea and i would like in the season 5 reid and hotch can be close each other

update soon please
9/26/2009 c2 LBQIO
9/26/2009 c2 2curupira
There is definitely potential in a story like this one, but there are a couple of things to be noted about it.

First and foremost: You need a beta reader. There are, of course, the regular grammatical errors and then Garcia's name is flipped a couple of times, turned into 'Gracia' instead. But I believe it would be in your best interest to just have someone look over your chapters and help out there, you would be amazed at how much anybody can miss the little things, even more seasoned writers.

Second, the characters don't quite seem to be themselves. Reid isn't so... I don't know how to put it, but he isn't so weak. He's been through a lot in his life, I don't think he would sit down and ask why a father figure was being taken away quite so quickly. He might be quiet and sit there for a while, throw himself into his work but Reid isn't an "admit your problems immediately" kind of guy. But that's just me. It's just things with some of the characters like that.

I thought I would give you a slightly more in depth review, just so you get more of an idea of what people may be talking about if they respond with the same type of thing in the future. As I said before, this story definitely has great potential, I'm very interested to see where you go with it. I'm not sure I've seen a story yet where Amanda escapes, I think that is an excellent idea. So much can happen from something like that. So keep going!
9/26/2009 c2 169the-vampire-act
omg! amanda! thats weird, cause i just started a story where amanda escapes,too! i havent posted yet,though...hehe...

great,great chap!

update soon,please?
9/26/2009 c1 the-vampire-act
two minor things: ur grammars kinda bad and they chacarters seem a bit off...please dont be mad! i would suggest geting a beta or editing a bit better. when i first strted fanfic, i never edited- big mistake that was! hehee...

great start! i see a lot of potential for this story!

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