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for Gone Like The Wind X

10/22/2009 c1 23isdonisgood
I'll beta it for you if you like because the idea of it intrests me.

Although when your talking in first person it more grammatical correct to say I instead of me. For example: If you ever enter Neptune you will straight away hear about Mia, Duncan, Lily and I. We are the Kanes. It reads better this way.

Also it should read 'you will hear straight away' and not 'you will straight away hear'. See the differnce.

Also it doesn't make sense to have Logan's roles in each of the Kane's lives seperate especially when his best friends with Duncan, Lilly and Mia. So maybe it should say something like: He's Duncan, Mia and Lilly's best friend and my boyfriend. Understand?

Ok there's more but that make this review so long and who wants to read just that. So let me know if you want me to beta for you and I'll give you my email address. Other than that I hope you continue cause it rally is an interesting idea. Don
10/22/2009 c1 missshay16
as random as this maybe i have to say it. my birthday is January 8th. for years i have been looking for ppl born on that day and in just one month i have found 2 ppl. also sorry about your friend and her boyfriend. i love the layout of the story and will be watching out for an update

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