for Hit By Destiny11/7/2009 c10 Wicked Rose Red
Great chapter! I'm hating Bella's parents now!
Can't wait for the EPOV to go beyond the collision...
Great chapter! I'm hating Bella's parents now!
Can't wait for the EPOV to go beyond the collision...
11/7/2009 c10 
1AzraCullen
Hey mate,
I'm sorry you don't have a Beta- hope you find one soon.
As for thsi chapter, and the story in general, its getting more surreal as we go along. Its not resembling the modern day reality that we live in at all.
How a recently released psychiatric patient can hit their own daughter while a sane father stands by and watches is just to unrealistic.
You REALLY need to bring this story back to its original form. The first couple of chapters really had me interested, because it seemed real, like it COULD actually happen.
This chapter and a couple previously arent realistic at all i'm sorry to say.
I would either encourage you to rewrite what you have, or make future chapters more relevent. Perhaps go onto some medical websites and look up the condition your Renee has, what Charlie should do apart from what he had done etc.
I liked the last part- the death scene, very sharp.
1AzraCullenHey mate,
I'm sorry you don't have a Beta- hope you find one soon.
As for thsi chapter, and the story in general, its getting more surreal as we go along. Its not resembling the modern day reality that we live in at all.
How a recently released psychiatric patient can hit their own daughter while a sane father stands by and watches is just to unrealistic.
You REALLY need to bring this story back to its original form. The first couple of chapters really had me interested, because it seemed real, like it COULD actually happen.
This chapter and a couple previously arent realistic at all i'm sorry to say.
I would either encourage you to rewrite what you have, or make future chapters more relevent. Perhaps go onto some medical websites and look up the condition your Renee has, what Charlie should do apart from what he had done etc.
I liked the last part- the death scene, very sharp.
11/7/2009 c8 AzraCullen
What kind of parent would want to bring an unstable person back into the environment of a person that got hurt because of them.
Poor Bella- I seriously am unhappy with this turn of events. I'm pretty certain something like this wouldn't happen in real life. A good parent would notice how desolate Bella has been feeling.
What kind of parent would want to bring an unstable person back into the environment of a person that got hurt because of them.
Poor Bella- I seriously am unhappy with this turn of events. I'm pretty certain something like this wouldn't happen in real life. A good parent would notice how desolate Bella has been feeling.
11/7/2009 c7 AzraCullen
I really like this story, but have found a few grammatical errors that I just am trying to ignore but cant now! i'm sorry in advance if this comes across as mean! I dont mean it to!
"Son, the Newton’s isn’t rich people." It's the Newton's AREN'T the richest people.
That was the decider error for me. Dude get your Beta to read them thoroughly- Becuase your writing is amazing, you don't need these mistakes to bring it down a notch.
Edward is SO mean! I feel really bad for Bella.
Cant wait to carry on with this story! x
I really like this story, but have found a few grammatical errors that I just am trying to ignore but cant now! i'm sorry in advance if this comes across as mean! I dont mean it to!
"Son, the Newton’s isn’t rich people." It's the Newton's AREN'T the richest people.
That was the decider error for me. Dude get your Beta to read them thoroughly- Becuase your writing is amazing, you don't need these mistakes to bring it down a notch.
Edward is SO mean! I feel really bad for Bella.
Cant wait to carry on with this story! x
11/7/2009 c10 craztef
OH SHIT!
this was so crazy
damn it must be so frustrating to have a mother like that
if I were Bella, I would provably take Charlie´s gun and kill her and then... well provably shoot myself
oh well
great chapter
update soon please!
OH SHIT!
this was so crazy
damn it must be so frustrating to have a mother like that
if I were Bella, I would provably take Charlie´s gun and kill her and then... well provably shoot myself
oh well
great chapter
update soon please!
11/7/2009 c10 1insolentelittlewolf
Damn. You sure made renee some kind of lunatic huh? Bitch is a few fries short of a happy meal if you know what i mean. Charlie isn't much better. Poor Bella.
seriously CAN'T WAIT to see the accident in Eddie's pov. && im dying to find out Jake & Billy's role in this whole thing.
Loving this story more than chocolate cake. Post more soon kayy?
xoxo
Ashley
~♥~
1insolentelittlewolfDamn. You sure made renee some kind of lunatic huh? Bitch is a few fries short of a happy meal if you know what i mean. Charlie isn't much better. Poor Bella.
seriously CAN'T WAIT to see the accident in Eddie's pov. && im dying to find out Jake & Billy's role in this whole thing.
Loving this story more than chocolate cake. Post more soon kayy?
xoxo
Ashley
~♥~
11/7/2009 c10 asimpledesign
please up date soon i really wish you could of writen a little bit more of what happens after the collision!update soon im beggin u! lol
please up date soon i really wish you could of writen a little bit more of what happens after the collision!update soon im beggin u! lol
11/7/2009 c10 1zemmeline
Yay! Renee's here! I CANNOT wait to see where this all leads. You're doing great! Keep it up!
-Lola
1zemmelineYay! Renee's here! I CANNOT wait to see where this all leads. You're doing great! Keep it up!
-Lola
11/7/2009 c10 acw1
cullen is such a hateful ass. i hope that he finds some humanity in the aftermath of the accident. great, well written chapter. curious to know exactly what bella's mom did, have a guess, hoping i am wrong.
cullen is such a hateful ass. i hope that he finds some humanity in the aftermath of the accident. great, well written chapter. curious to know exactly what bella's mom did, have a guess, hoping i am wrong.
11/7/2009 c10 3Elizabeth Keller
Oh my gosh! Crazy good chapter, and yes pun intended! Oh, I want to hit the Renee and Charlie! I cannot wait to see what Jacob did. I cannot wait for the next chapter!
3Elizabeth KellerOh my gosh! Crazy good chapter, and yes pun intended! Oh, I want to hit the Renee and Charlie! I cannot wait to see what Jacob did. I cannot wait for the next chapter!