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for Monster redone

7/30/2013 c1 8Contramancer
Much better.
11/3/2009 c1 3AMWOOD co
I realize that there is a great deal of room for more, right? Will you be continuing the story with Ranma's training and return? Will he have mastered the Neko-ken? Will he fail?

On comments on the actual story, I don't know the song you chose and it seems kind of hollow without the tune in my head. Also, your grammar needs work, especially punctuation. Looking at the first screen worth (about a quarter of the story), I don't even see a single period. It needs an overhaul.

From the offices of AMWOOD co
11/3/2009 c1 30Talent Scout
Basically everything he said is true though thank god you got rid of those # signs. Anyway it would be a good idea if you had a flashback in the next chapter or any way of showing the reader what Akane did to anger Neko-Ranma and the result of it. The story does have promise as stated by the earlier review
11/3/2009 c1 Barabass
Nice little spoiler, but where is the story?

Now, seriously, there are some things missing:

- a disclaimer (do something about it before they f* you over for copyright infringement)

- a differentiation between the Narrator and that song on the radio

- a bit more story in all this text

Otherwise it is promising so far.

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