for The Hope of the Senju Clan12/28/2019 c41 Guest
Continúa la pls
Continúa la pls
12/7/2019 c1 Effecteyvee
abid32 the author has been active in the past year. But they've got work and other stuff like that, this isn't anything new so don't worry. Although it may be a while till the next update
abid32 the author has been active in the past year. But they've got work and other stuff like that, this isn't anything new so don't worry. Although it may be a while till the next update
12/1/2019 c40 Effecteyvee
r cons aren't really bad, if anything they aren't even bad. They just bother me personally.
Now that's all the cons lol that's how good your story is there's literally only two cons. Now onto my favorites.
Favorite Ships
Yugito and Naruto: Now while I did like yugito in the anime (with what little screentime she had), I never really thought about her and Naruto until this story. You made me fall in love with the two of them, and their chemistry is amazing. The two of them are cute and I can't get enough of them when they share the page.
Haku and Naruto: While I don't like these two as much as I do Yugito and Naruto, I still love the pairing. The two are so adorable together, and like with Yugito and Naruto I can't get enough of them when they share the page.
Mai and Naruto: These two are just behind Haku and Naruto, and their relationship is hot yet believable at the same time. They have an interesting dynamic, and I can't wait to see more of them in the future.
Favorite Chapters:
Chapter 7~Chance Meeting
Chapter 30~Hellcat
Chapter 10~Revealed
Chapter 36~Family
Favorite Moment's:
1. When Naruto uses Mokuton for the first time in the chunin exams finals.
2. When Naruto and Yugito are in the hospital together after their fight in the chunin exams.
3. When Minato and Gamabunta fight the 9 tails in chapter 3.
So yeah that's pretty much everything I can say about your wonderful story, I enjoyed it through and through and hope you can update it soon. I know you have work and family and stuff like that, but we will still be waiting for you when you update again. You have a new favorite and followercan't wait for next chapter
r cons aren't really bad, if anything they aren't even bad. They just bother me personally.
Now that's all the cons lol that's how good your story is there's literally only two cons. Now onto my favorites.
Favorite Ships
Yugito and Naruto: Now while I did like yugito in the anime (with what little screentime she had), I never really thought about her and Naruto until this story. You made me fall in love with the two of them, and their chemistry is amazing. The two of them are cute and I can't get enough of them when they share the page.
Haku and Naruto: While I don't like these two as much as I do Yugito and Naruto, I still love the pairing. The two are so adorable together, and like with Yugito and Naruto I can't get enough of them when they share the page.
Mai and Naruto: These two are just behind Haku and Naruto, and their relationship is hot yet believable at the same time. They have an interesting dynamic, and I can't wait to see more of them in the future.
Favorite Chapters:
Chapter 7~Chance Meeting
Chapter 30~Hellcat
Chapter 10~Revealed
Chapter 36~Family
Favorite Moment's:
1. When Naruto uses Mokuton for the first time in the chunin exams finals.
2. When Naruto and Yugito are in the hospital together after their fight in the chunin exams.
3. When Minato and Gamabunta fight the 9 tails in chapter 3.
So yeah that's pretty much everything I can say about your wonderful story, I enjoyed it through and through and hope you can update it soon. I know you have work and family and stuff like that, but we will still be waiting for you when you update again. You have a new favorite and followercan't wait for next chapter
12/1/2019 c39 Effecteyvee
Yeah, after completely catching up on this story I can say for sure that it's among my top 3 favorite fanfics on the app. Although I have a few minor problems, it's still overall amazing and I can't wait for the next chapter (Btw ignore the guest user that keeps trolling your comments)
Pros
The Romance: I love all of the choices for the harem that you've laid out. It's cool how Naruto always finds himself in a embarrassing situation with atleast one of them (Falling on Yugito's breasts, seeing a little bit of her right breast, seeing Mai's breasts, kissing Mai twice, kissing Haku, and walking in on Haku with a towel around herself and finding out that she's a girl.) While I'm not big on Naruto and Tenten/Ino/Hinata/Fire Daimyo's granddaughter, I absolute love Yugito/Mai/Temari/Haku. In fact I'm quite sad that I won't see another chapter for a while since I can't find any other fanfiction that write those character in the magical way that you do.
Naruto's Skill: The way you've set Naruto up is fantastic without a question, I love that he's powerful as hell but still pales in comparison to jonin and those above that. Whenever I was in the middle of reading the first 10 chapters, I was worried for a second that you would make the mistake that many other writers do. Where Naruto basically becomes an unrealistic unstoppable God as a kid and beats kage level opponents. But no, the way you went with portraying his skill level was smart and realistic.
Naruto's Attitude: This was also another fantastic showoff of your writing, he's smart and kind while still being pretty goofy. Of course, the best part of his attitude is the way he acts around girls which is hilarious yet great. If anything, I'd argue that your character writing is the best part of the whole story. Every character feels distinct, has a natural flow to them, and I can say for sure that even characters that I didn't like in the original series are ones that you've made me fall in love with.
The Fights: I can't express how mind blowing it is to see the fight scenes in his story, you put other writers fights scenes (which I thought were good) to shame. There's a good amount of variety, with tactics/ninjutsu/taijutsu/genjutsu/kenjutsu and you evenly portray them all throughout the fight in a very genius way. Best of all, you stay true to the orginal Naruto's series standard of the fights. Where one character has an ace up their sleeve, and it gets revealed before being explained to the audience. I adore that.
The Premise: Now I found this story because I was looking for a fanfic where Tsunade raises Naruto, but instead I found this where Tsunade is ACTUALLY his mother. This was great, and considering you wrote that first chapter a decade ago I'm surprised you could still explore everything that you did in those first few chapters with a simple premise. You really are a smart writer, and should give yourself more credit.
The Conflicts: The way you set up all of the villages trying to either kill Naruto, get their daughters with him to reproduce a clan full of Mokuton users, or trying to get him on their side is amazing. It never once feels senseless, and even the filler chapters that involve them are still entertaining and make sense. Like I said before, you're a really smart writer and I applaud you on the great calls that you made throughout the story.
Neutral
The Grammar: In all honesty, while the grammar can be a tad bit annoying at times to deal with I can still bare it. I know that you have explained that you don't have a beta, and the chapters are really long so I imagine that no matter how much you relook through the chapter there will still be a few misses here and there. But it's fineCon's
The Fights: Now before you get confused, let me explain. Everything that I stated in my last, The Fights, paragraph in my Pro's section still stands, but there are some aspects of the fight that I'm not all that into (although I don't hate them either). There are others who have stated this, and while they could've been a little less of an asshole about it they still have a point. The characters all seem to either know how to make clones, or switch themself with a log when it comes to getting out of situations.
While I'm personally not against this, I would
prefer to see a little more variety (while I know the hypocrisy considering I literally said that the variety of the fights was one of my favorite aspects.) to how characters get out of situations like that. Or you could take a bigger leap and have them get hit, it makes the readers feel a little more apprehensive when seeing the fight other than knowing that the person will get out of it.
Growth: When it comes to Naruto, you handle him amazingly. But I've noticed that he never really gets anymore growth as a person towards the later half of the story, while yes there was the growth for him when after Itachi and Kisame. There hasn't been anything else, like I said before this along with the othe
Yeah, after completely catching up on this story I can say for sure that it's among my top 3 favorite fanfics on the app. Although I have a few minor problems, it's still overall amazing and I can't wait for the next chapter (Btw ignore the guest user that keeps trolling your comments)
Pros
The Romance: I love all of the choices for the harem that you've laid out. It's cool how Naruto always finds himself in a embarrassing situation with atleast one of them (Falling on Yugito's breasts, seeing a little bit of her right breast, seeing Mai's breasts, kissing Mai twice, kissing Haku, and walking in on Haku with a towel around herself and finding out that she's a girl.) While I'm not big on Naruto and Tenten/Ino/Hinata/Fire Daimyo's granddaughter, I absolute love Yugito/Mai/Temari/Haku. In fact I'm quite sad that I won't see another chapter for a while since I can't find any other fanfiction that write those character in the magical way that you do.
Naruto's Skill: The way you've set Naruto up is fantastic without a question, I love that he's powerful as hell but still pales in comparison to jonin and those above that. Whenever I was in the middle of reading the first 10 chapters, I was worried for a second that you would make the mistake that many other writers do. Where Naruto basically becomes an unrealistic unstoppable God as a kid and beats kage level opponents. But no, the way you went with portraying his skill level was smart and realistic.
Naruto's Attitude: This was also another fantastic showoff of your writing, he's smart and kind while still being pretty goofy. Of course, the best part of his attitude is the way he acts around girls which is hilarious yet great. If anything, I'd argue that your character writing is the best part of the whole story. Every character feels distinct, has a natural flow to them, and I can say for sure that even characters that I didn't like in the original series are ones that you've made me fall in love with.
The Fights: I can't express how mind blowing it is to see the fight scenes in his story, you put other writers fights scenes (which I thought were good) to shame. There's a good amount of variety, with tactics/ninjutsu/taijutsu/genjutsu/kenjutsu and you evenly portray them all throughout the fight in a very genius way. Best of all, you stay true to the orginal Naruto's series standard of the fights. Where one character has an ace up their sleeve, and it gets revealed before being explained to the audience. I adore that.
The Premise: Now I found this story because I was looking for a fanfic where Tsunade raises Naruto, but instead I found this where Tsunade is ACTUALLY his mother. This was great, and considering you wrote that first chapter a decade ago I'm surprised you could still explore everything that you did in those first few chapters with a simple premise. You really are a smart writer, and should give yourself more credit.
The Conflicts: The way you set up all of the villages trying to either kill Naruto, get their daughters with him to reproduce a clan full of Mokuton users, or trying to get him on their side is amazing. It never once feels senseless, and even the filler chapters that involve them are still entertaining and make sense. Like I said before, you're a really smart writer and I applaud you on the great calls that you made throughout the story.
Neutral
The Grammar: In all honesty, while the grammar can be a tad bit annoying at times to deal with I can still bare it. I know that you have explained that you don't have a beta, and the chapters are really long so I imagine that no matter how much you relook through the chapter there will still be a few misses here and there. But it's fineCon's
The Fights: Now before you get confused, let me explain. Everything that I stated in my last, The Fights, paragraph in my Pro's section still stands, but there are some aspects of the fight that I'm not all that into (although I don't hate them either). There are others who have stated this, and while they could've been a little less of an asshole about it they still have a point. The characters all seem to either know how to make clones, or switch themself with a log when it comes to getting out of situations.
While I'm personally not against this, I would
prefer to see a little more variety (while I know the hypocrisy considering I literally said that the variety of the fights was one of my favorite aspects.) to how characters get out of situations like that. Or you could take a bigger leap and have them get hit, it makes the readers feel a little more apprehensive when seeing the fight other than knowing that the person will get out of it.
Growth: When it comes to Naruto, you handle him amazingly. But I've noticed that he never really gets anymore growth as a person towards the later half of the story, while yes there was the growth for him when after Itachi and Kisame. There hasn't been anything else, like I said before this along with the othe
12/1/2019 c41 Guest
update
update
11/28/2019 c41 fyrefly1998
In response to the guest from Nov. 2:
No, you kill Yourself. Don't like the story? Fuck off. It's the author's prerogative to write what he wants and the reader's privilege to read what they want. If you don't like it, DON'T FUCKING READ IT. Don't ruin it for the author or the people who actually enjoy the story.
In response to the guest from Nov. 2:
No, you kill Yourself. Don't like the story? Fuck off. It's the author's prerogative to write what he wants and the reader's privilege to read what they want. If you don't like it, DON'T FUCKING READ IT. Don't ruin it for the author or the people who actually enjoy the story.
11/15/2019 c12 Stone Elbow
Council of Pimps.
Council of Pimps.
11/2/2019 c10 Guest
What the fuck is this? “Phant phant” That is the weirdest and most retarded thing I have ever seen. I hope you kill yourself. KILL YOURSELF. NOW. YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT.
What the fuck is this? “Phant phant” That is the weirdest and most retarded thing I have ever seen. I hope you kill yourself. KILL YOURSELF. NOW. YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT.
11/2/2019 c8 Guest
Horrible spelling and atrocious grammar. You are fucked up as an author.
Horrible spelling and atrocious grammar. You are fucked up as an author.
11/1/2019 c5 Guest
Horrible grammar, illogical inconsistencies and horrible logic. Combine those three and you get this abomination of a story. Kill yourself.
Horrible grammar, illogical inconsistencies and horrible logic. Combine those three and you get this abomination of a story. Kill yourself.
10/17/2019 c11 01028377226262111hafqgq
This story is perfect accurate of what if naruto have a family from a start.. Hope to see more chptr.
This story is perfect accurate of what if naruto have a family from a start.. Hope to see more chptr.
10/13/2019 c14 Uzukaki
Warning
A good chunk of this story is:
1) the author explaining things he really doesn't need to (Naruto could have done this move in a fight, but did this one instead because he needs to hide his skills)
2) Saying the same things he already said before (Naruto has given his likes/dislikes/hobbies/dreams speech 4 times. It is constantly restated that Naruto is much stronger than his peers, but has to hide his level. It is constantly restated that Naruto has teo sensei because he's basically the peince of the Leaf.)
Warning
A good chunk of this story is:
1) the author explaining things he really doesn't need to (Naruto could have done this move in a fight, but did this one instead because he needs to hide his skills)
2) Saying the same things he already said before (Naruto has given his likes/dislikes/hobbies/dreams speech 4 times. It is constantly restated that Naruto is much stronger than his peers, but has to hide his level. It is constantly restated that Naruto has teo sensei because he's basically the peince of the Leaf.)
10/10/2019 c1 jbXCR12
Hey don’t worry about daspeedforce keep up the good work I’ve been constantly re-reading your story for the past few years I really do hope you will update soon it’s one of the best stories I’ve ever read plus I think it would have been a huge mistake if he didn’t have the curse mark while I don’t like the idea I think it would have been far worse if he didn’t receive cause naruto would be an ideal candidate to become a perfect body for orochimaru to use as his own it goes to show that naruto is incredibly powerful for his age that it impressed what is arguably the strongest ninja of the legendary three ninja while I can’t help but agree that naruto is op the fact is two of the three sannin had train him at a young age besides naruto always has been a character with the devils luck. Anyway I can’t help but feel that this could be an accurate story of the many possible ways of how naruto life could have ended up thank you for this wonderful story and I really do hope you update soon plzzz.
Hey don’t worry about daspeedforce keep up the good work I’ve been constantly re-reading your story for the past few years I really do hope you will update soon it’s one of the best stories I’ve ever read plus I think it would have been a huge mistake if he didn’t have the curse mark while I don’t like the idea I think it would have been far worse if he didn’t receive cause naruto would be an ideal candidate to become a perfect body for orochimaru to use as his own it goes to show that naruto is incredibly powerful for his age that it impressed what is arguably the strongest ninja of the legendary three ninja while I can’t help but agree that naruto is op the fact is two of the three sannin had train him at a young age besides naruto always has been a character with the devils luck. Anyway I can’t help but feel that this could be an accurate story of the many possible ways of how naruto life could have ended up thank you for this wonderful story and I really do hope you update soon plzzz.