for The Hope of the Senju Clan4/23/2018 c7 AlmightyFatty
Just recently found FF and i'm really glad i did. Thanks for writing this awesome FF and making my day a little bit brighter.
Just recently found FF and i'm really glad i did. Thanks for writing this awesome FF and making my day a little bit brighter.
4/19/2018 c10 Pater Mortis
My friend, good job making this fic, but i seriously recommend rereading what you wrote to check if it sounds right or just... get someone to edit. I mean you can get an editor if you promise your readers more chapters or the editor alone for sneak peeks for the future chapters. Also i recommend making naruto conform to what is the norm for ninja to wear since it just alienates him from his peers... legit you can make him wear a tutu just... make him wear ninja sandals, like boots gets very warm and uncomfortable when you wear it for a long period of time...
and yes, any shirt and pants can be used, but just stick to sandals, slippers(japanese slippers) or wooden slippers(the thing the raikage wears)... the reason why it could be any shirt or pants is because the kishimoto literally, at some point, stopped giving fucks. Look at what Neji is wearing, what lee is wearing, FUCK look at what B wears! B wears the clothes that Raven from tekken wears (his 2p outfit but in all white and less... modern) and have seen the shit sasuske wears? Fuck he looks like some weird ass stripper (the outfit after Naruto’s training trip) i mean legit, he can shrug off his shirt and he just needs to untie the weird purple belt fornhim to be naked. If that doesn’t make you think of what kinky shit sasuke gets to then idk what does
My friend, good job making this fic, but i seriously recommend rereading what you wrote to check if it sounds right or just... get someone to edit. I mean you can get an editor if you promise your readers more chapters or the editor alone for sneak peeks for the future chapters. Also i recommend making naruto conform to what is the norm for ninja to wear since it just alienates him from his peers... legit you can make him wear a tutu just... make him wear ninja sandals, like boots gets very warm and uncomfortable when you wear it for a long period of time...
and yes, any shirt and pants can be used, but just stick to sandals, slippers(japanese slippers) or wooden slippers(the thing the raikage wears)... the reason why it could be any shirt or pants is because the kishimoto literally, at some point, stopped giving fucks. Look at what Neji is wearing, what lee is wearing, FUCK look at what B wears! B wears the clothes that Raven from tekken wears (his 2p outfit but in all white and less... modern) and have seen the shit sasuske wears? Fuck he looks like some weird ass stripper (the outfit after Naruto’s training trip) i mean legit, he can shrug off his shirt and he just needs to untie the weird purple belt fornhim to be naked. If that doesn’t make you think of what kinky shit sasuke gets to then idk what does
4/5/2018 c10 BaberKhan
I love this fan fiction a lot, however, one fact makes me want to bash my head against a wall. It is this: the fact that if he grew up in Konoha, Naruto will become a spoilt brat, not value hard work, and not do this and that! Come on, that's so not true. And this is mentioned so many times in this fiction, urgh!
Did Itachi (Uchiha heir) grew up that way? Did Konohamaru (Sarutobi heir) grow up that way? Did any of the other heirs grew up that way? DID TSUNADE GREW UP THAT WAY?! And they all grew up in Konoha! -.-''
I love this fan fiction a lot, however, one fact makes me want to bash my head against a wall. It is this: the fact that if he grew up in Konoha, Naruto will become a spoilt brat, not value hard work, and not do this and that! Come on, that's so not true. And this is mentioned so many times in this fiction, urgh!
Did Itachi (Uchiha heir) grew up that way? Did Konohamaru (Sarutobi heir) grow up that way? Did any of the other heirs grew up that way? DID TSUNADE GREW UP THAT WAY?! And they all grew up in Konoha! -.-''
3/27/2018 c41 snorlax285
Whew finally made it. But I'm a little sad that I finished the last chapter. This story was so good I had to force myself to stop a couple of times. I do hope you continue this story and also hope you will post another chapter.
Whew finally made it. But I'm a little sad that I finished the last chapter. This story was so good I had to force myself to stop a couple of times. I do hope you continue this story and also hope you will post another chapter.
3/23/2018 c27 Guest
Brutal lol
Brutal lol
3/21/2018 c41 
1Dragon God of Miracles
Sorry if I've forgotten but did you tell how the first hokage died or you haven't revealed that yet?
Seems Danzo and Tsunade are in for a political war one that could shake the nation's if it gets out of hand with the kind of information and resources they each have.
Naruto letting Kurosotchi go may have been a bad idea but I guess it can slide since she did save his life and others though he might regret it later. Naruto honor code reminds me a little of goku is it the same though Naruto can be drawn from his medical field code while goku was because they loved fighting if this Naruto had been faced with the same decision of letting vegeta go or killing him would he have made the same decision as goku.
Akoku was a bit like a final game boss with all those roars creating shock waves that kept pushing people back. How hot are is flames they are blue in color how would they stack against ameterasu?Will he make another debut in the future?
I liked some of the gaurdians styles Chen came up like the thunder god Raiden though if he's that strong just how powerful is zen and what can he do he was able to make that powerul barrier and the sealing pot which gives some testament?
It seems Ino got some character development I can't wait to see how she progresses and wonder if will learn more advanced techniques of her clan.
the prophecy is a dusy though that bit about it being a recipe for making noodles made me laugh lol.
Wonder how onoki will react once he learns that they failed the mission again he probably blow a gasket.
Wow kurosotchi actually sort of reminds me of what canon naruto did the fact she stole the scroll to prove herself and was unaware of the intentions though in hers other people got hurt it's a shame when people use the trusting based on what she described and from the bio I'm guessing it was Diedra though I don't see a reason why he would want to go rogue and do things I guess it will come later?
Nice telling of how the earth has leylines that when applied to Naruto verse can be considered chakra coils making the earth a living entity. This one has five and was immensely power but what about the other ones and is this the only one that reaches that high or are there others and who is guarding them?
Naruto has just got a new summon awesome can't wait for him to call them into battle but it might be for a while though I wonder how he will switch and choose between them he may need one of those tattoos.
Will you continue to put up character profile for all major characters even ones from canon like Sasuke Naruto and others are they only for OC cause I notice you have only done mai, her mother, and kurosotchi who had little revealed about in canon?
Great chapter really long and really enjoyed it.
With me at the end at the moment there is only one thing left to ask
When is the next chapter coming out and will it be soon?
Seriously the story is great and funnily we aren't close to the point where Naruto is supposed to leave Kepple at this pace and the length of this story could rival that of The Drifting from AlphaDelta10001.
1Dragon God of MiraclesSorry if I've forgotten but did you tell how the first hokage died or you haven't revealed that yet?
Seems Danzo and Tsunade are in for a political war one that could shake the nation's if it gets out of hand with the kind of information and resources they each have.
Naruto letting Kurosotchi go may have been a bad idea but I guess it can slide since she did save his life and others though he might regret it later. Naruto honor code reminds me a little of goku is it the same though Naruto can be drawn from his medical field code while goku was because they loved fighting if this Naruto had been faced with the same decision of letting vegeta go or killing him would he have made the same decision as goku.
Akoku was a bit like a final game boss with all those roars creating shock waves that kept pushing people back. How hot are is flames they are blue in color how would they stack against ameterasu?Will he make another debut in the future?
I liked some of the gaurdians styles Chen came up like the thunder god Raiden though if he's that strong just how powerful is zen and what can he do he was able to make that powerul barrier and the sealing pot which gives some testament?
It seems Ino got some character development I can't wait to see how she progresses and wonder if will learn more advanced techniques of her clan.
the prophecy is a dusy though that bit about it being a recipe for making noodles made me laugh lol.
Wonder how onoki will react once he learns that they failed the mission again he probably blow a gasket.
Wow kurosotchi actually sort of reminds me of what canon naruto did the fact she stole the scroll to prove herself and was unaware of the intentions though in hers other people got hurt it's a shame when people use the trusting based on what she described and from the bio I'm guessing it was Diedra though I don't see a reason why he would want to go rogue and do things I guess it will come later?
Nice telling of how the earth has leylines that when applied to Naruto verse can be considered chakra coils making the earth a living entity. This one has five and was immensely power but what about the other ones and is this the only one that reaches that high or are there others and who is guarding them?
Naruto has just got a new summon awesome can't wait for him to call them into battle but it might be for a while though I wonder how he will switch and choose between them he may need one of those tattoos.
Will you continue to put up character profile for all major characters even ones from canon like Sasuke Naruto and others are they only for OC cause I notice you have only done mai, her mother, and kurosotchi who had little revealed about in canon?
Great chapter really long and really enjoyed it.
With me at the end at the moment there is only one thing left to ask
When is the next chapter coming out and will it be soon?
Seriously the story is great and funnily we aren't close to the point where Naruto is supposed to leave Kepple at this pace and the length of this story could rival that of The Drifting from AlphaDelta10001.
3/21/2018 c40 Dragon God of Miracles
Well the was climatic.
Danzo threw naruto under the bus ,but to understand his logic he only did it to find a spy that was a threat to all the shinobi in the village so it is a lack of favoritism despite his heritage. Though he did have a backup plan if naruto was captured most likely bloody.
Wow Naruto and Ino had a falling out but I guess now is the best time as any and it should help in the long run. Wish Sakura could get the talk early but they aren't on the same team nor is she interested or have a connection with Naruto so it would probably do not good.
Kurimara is being a cute and loyal dog as usual desperately trying to help out and be apart of the team.
I do wonder when Naruto will join back up with Team 7 or Kurenai team as he hasn't done a joint mission with them yet though I guess all the constant battles and training doesn't give him much time for missions though with his luck they might run into some A rank or S rank missing nin lol.
Iwa just doesn't know when to quit it seems like they are asking for another shinobi war as constantly attacking and antagonizing Konoha there is only so much they can let go before retaliation.
Wow the Bears won and by a minimal 2 man do i wish I had voted earlier for dragons, but I suppose bears is the best as they are easier to do and make human sized and shaped rather than dragons who likely can't teach much on combat to humans. Plus like you said these Pandas are fierce not to mention I see them in a better image as a sage based on how they look and how they are dragons fit more into the berserker area.
Kurosotchi was not willing to put her grudge aside until they had to fight Chun but I wonder how long it will last she is still a Iwa kunochi and will she betray the Pandas trust and tell her Grandfather so that Naruto can not learn about his abilities or for them to?
I like some of the stuff you are doing with sage mode one of the things is you enhancing what naruto could do in canon with projecting sage energy but that was only in small burst and fist sized but these Pandas can produce shock waves with it and according to a scene likely heal. Are there other techniques to sage chakra that you made as ironpaw meantioned mastering the sage arts extensively?
Well the was climatic.
Danzo threw naruto under the bus ,but to understand his logic he only did it to find a spy that was a threat to all the shinobi in the village so it is a lack of favoritism despite his heritage. Though he did have a backup plan if naruto was captured most likely bloody.
Wow Naruto and Ino had a falling out but I guess now is the best time as any and it should help in the long run. Wish Sakura could get the talk early but they aren't on the same team nor is she interested or have a connection with Naruto so it would probably do not good.
Kurimara is being a cute and loyal dog as usual desperately trying to help out and be apart of the team.
I do wonder when Naruto will join back up with Team 7 or Kurenai team as he hasn't done a joint mission with them yet though I guess all the constant battles and training doesn't give him much time for missions though with his luck they might run into some A rank or S rank missing nin lol.
Iwa just doesn't know when to quit it seems like they are asking for another shinobi war as constantly attacking and antagonizing Konoha there is only so much they can let go before retaliation.
Wow the Bears won and by a minimal 2 man do i wish I had voted earlier for dragons, but I suppose bears is the best as they are easier to do and make human sized and shaped rather than dragons who likely can't teach much on combat to humans. Plus like you said these Pandas are fierce not to mention I see them in a better image as a sage based on how they look and how they are dragons fit more into the berserker area.
Kurosotchi was not willing to put her grudge aside until they had to fight Chun but I wonder how long it will last she is still a Iwa kunochi and will she betray the Pandas trust and tell her Grandfather so that Naruto can not learn about his abilities or for them to?
I like some of the stuff you are doing with sage mode one of the things is you enhancing what naruto could do in canon with projecting sage energy but that was only in small burst and fist sized but these Pandas can produce shock waves with it and according to a scene likely heal. Are there other techniques to sage chakra that you made as ironpaw meantioned mastering the sage arts extensively?
3/20/2018 c39 Dragon God of Miracles
Awesome how you brought in and used Kosuke he is a great example of power doesn't equal rank, and he is also a veteran having met and fought with all the Hokage's at one point or another. It was nice for him to be bring wisdom into Naruto on how to improve his skills by shortening hindsighns as well as employing genjutsu with combat.
Iwa seems to have lost the mission despite the advanced numbers and boy does Naruto have rotten luck with woman as they all seem to get mad at him and kurosotchi is no exception.
Great Bio and Great Chapter
Awesome how you brought in and used Kosuke he is a great example of power doesn't equal rank, and he is also a veteran having met and fought with all the Hokage's at one point or another. It was nice for him to be bring wisdom into Naruto on how to improve his skills by shortening hindsighns as well as employing genjutsu with combat.
Iwa seems to have lost the mission despite the advanced numbers and boy does Naruto have rotten luck with woman as they all seem to get mad at him and kurosotchi is no exception.
Great Bio and Great Chapter
3/20/2018 c38 Dragon God of Miracles
That was a great chapter.
It's nice to see how Orochimmaru is doing still has that temper though killing his doctor even though he was trying to help. It does show orochimmaru intelligence the way he saw the through Hanzo plan which is great as while a scientist he is a tactician as well.
So Gurren makes her debut ahead of schedule and will be involved in the mission man that should be fun for everyone.
I like how even though they are Oc you show strong and relevant female characters in the story.
Mai has definitely improved and her tactics does prove that strength can be overcome with planning with the poison and clone technique which I got to admit is pretty cool if annoying in a way. So the Hattori clan are immune to poison or at least Hanzo line from him but is seems to get weaker by generation. As Hanzo can breath poison and his daughter can sort of sweat it out from her body which is cool but a bummer. Mai seems to lack poison projection but she does make up for it in creativity.
I liked the showcase of Amaya and Kushina skill in battle especially the rivalry as it is true that in fights rivals tend to be the best team similar to zoro and sanji that can't stand each other but dominate when together.
Nice guidebook info at the authors note for them really fleshes out the backstory.
Though is Mai father still alive or will he makes an appearance?
As based on their saying he would have likely been just as strong or stronger than Amaya funny enough the saying they have marches esdeath clan. I also like you brought your own thing into the salamander summons as most would have stuck them with water jutsu and just plowing through everything.
The family seems like Amazons though less hating on man and more on getting stronger and not being weak which in my mind is the ideal amazon in character since it's not a hate boner for all males it's a hate for anyone weak including females.
Naruto just saw his first set of boobs not counting his mom's as an infant lol.
That was a great chapter.
It's nice to see how Orochimmaru is doing still has that temper though killing his doctor even though he was trying to help. It does show orochimmaru intelligence the way he saw the through Hanzo plan which is great as while a scientist he is a tactician as well.
So Gurren makes her debut ahead of schedule and will be involved in the mission man that should be fun for everyone.
I like how even though they are Oc you show strong and relevant female characters in the story.
Mai has definitely improved and her tactics does prove that strength can be overcome with planning with the poison and clone technique which I got to admit is pretty cool if annoying in a way. So the Hattori clan are immune to poison or at least Hanzo line from him but is seems to get weaker by generation. As Hanzo can breath poison and his daughter can sort of sweat it out from her body which is cool but a bummer. Mai seems to lack poison projection but she does make up for it in creativity.
I liked the showcase of Amaya and Kushina skill in battle especially the rivalry as it is true that in fights rivals tend to be the best team similar to zoro and sanji that can't stand each other but dominate when together.
Nice guidebook info at the authors note for them really fleshes out the backstory.
Though is Mai father still alive or will he makes an appearance?
As based on their saying he would have likely been just as strong or stronger than Amaya funny enough the saying they have marches esdeath clan. I also like you brought your own thing into the salamander summons as most would have stuck them with water jutsu and just plowing through everything.
The family seems like Amazons though less hating on man and more on getting stronger and not being weak which in my mind is the ideal amazon in character since it's not a hate boner for all males it's a hate for anyone weak including females.
Naruto just saw his first set of boobs not counting his mom's as an infant lol.
3/19/2018 c37 Dragon God of Miracles
Nice chapter with adding the filler from the anime to the plot.
Will all filler very in the story or the movie ones?
I have a question for chakra is it only limited to physical elements in your story and will there be new bloodline or kekkei tota introduced? Like weather manipulation,light,gravity as the effects of chakra seems to not be limited .
So the Hyuga are cooking up schemes with Danzo to keep status well I wonder how long that alliance will last and who will betray who first? Danzo took after Tobirama and Tobirama didn't trust the Hyuga either.
So Hanzo is still active I wonder with his family around Is Hanzo still fit and battle ready as he should be the problem he had in canon was he got so paranoid he lost focus and didn't train much if at all leading to his defeat, but with his family around and what he just did now is that still the case? Even if it is won't Pein and Konan have a hard time getting through his body gaurd with large sword and family members if they are as tough as shown an almighty Push won't be enough?
Nice chapter with adding the filler from the anime to the plot.
Will all filler very in the story or the movie ones?
I have a question for chakra is it only limited to physical elements in your story and will there be new bloodline or kekkei tota introduced? Like weather manipulation,light,gravity as the effects of chakra seems to not be limited .
So the Hyuga are cooking up schemes with Danzo to keep status well I wonder how long that alliance will last and who will betray who first? Danzo took after Tobirama and Tobirama didn't trust the Hyuga either.
So Hanzo is still active I wonder with his family around Is Hanzo still fit and battle ready as he should be the problem he had in canon was he got so paranoid he lost focus and didn't train much if at all leading to his defeat, but with his family around and what he just did now is that still the case? Even if it is won't Pein and Konan have a hard time getting through his body gaurd with large sword and family members if they are as tough as shown an almighty Push won't be enough?
3/18/2018 c36 Dragon God of Miracles
So finally Naruto has started to recover from his mental breakdown. It's great as sometimes force is necessary to help with your problems Kimiko helped him regain his will to act.
You said she had one of Murusame swords how many are there ?and which does she have as you never gave a name? And as far as the legend goes if those are cursed are there blessed swords as Murusame had a rival whose sword when used actually restored the things that were cut.
That clause of not allowing other bloodlines how would that work with Naruto as some of the ones interested in him have bloodlines or is an exception made on who he is?
Best swordsman in the world it sounds cool but I feel this fight didn't portray her might and the seriousness of her title well so I hope it can get better latter I guess we can chalk now up to her not trying.
Typical tsunade luck that's one clause that I would be pissed about as well almost sounds made up to keep the money.
Wow he he rejected the Daimyo offer but I guess he would like to get to know the village better and explore rather than as a gaurdian he would be glued to the palace.
Also if this doesn't hurt your story I have a recommendation that you use Madara as the final villian or anyone else but Kaguya and instead save her and her clan for Boruto era if you decide to make a second story continuing off from that journey as it let's the power jump be more noteworthy plus not just chopping one villian off from another?
Are there other characters from history or myth besides Murusame that you put in this story?
So finally Naruto has started to recover from his mental breakdown. It's great as sometimes force is necessary to help with your problems Kimiko helped him regain his will to act.
You said she had one of Murusame swords how many are there ?and which does she have as you never gave a name? And as far as the legend goes if those are cursed are there blessed swords as Murusame had a rival whose sword when used actually restored the things that were cut.
That clause of not allowing other bloodlines how would that work with Naruto as some of the ones interested in him have bloodlines or is an exception made on who he is?
Best swordsman in the world it sounds cool but I feel this fight didn't portray her might and the seriousness of her title well so I hope it can get better latter I guess we can chalk now up to her not trying.
Typical tsunade luck that's one clause that I would be pissed about as well almost sounds made up to keep the money.
Wow he he rejected the Daimyo offer but I guess he would like to get to know the village better and explore rather than as a gaurdian he would be glued to the palace.
Also if this doesn't hurt your story I have a recommendation that you use Madara as the final villian or anyone else but Kaguya and instead save her and her clan for Boruto era if you decide to make a second story continuing off from that journey as it let's the power jump be more noteworthy plus not just chopping one villian off from another?
Are there other characters from history or myth besides Murusame that you put in this story?
3/16/2018 c35 Dragon God of Miracles
Seems naruto is suffering some left over trauma from itachi az well as Sasuke I wonder if Naruto will fight Itachi instead itachi himself noted that there power was similar and skill as well would be a nice small version of the Madara vs Hashirama although Itachi lacks the Indra quality.
Seems that Naruto is about to get a harem and Temari might be his first wife and Garra approves. Lucky guy
All things considered Nice chapter
Seems naruto is suffering some left over trauma from itachi az well as Sasuke I wonder if Naruto will fight Itachi instead itachi himself noted that there power was similar and skill as well would be a nice small version of the Madara vs Hashirama although Itachi lacks the Indra quality.
Seems that Naruto is about to get a harem and Temari might be his first wife and Garra approves. Lucky guy
All things considered Nice chapter