for Crossing the Line12/26/2010 c3 
4marsbareater12
You horrible insane violent person!
Ah, I so love torture...Well written. Believable storyline. Good job!
Marsbareater12
4marsbareater12You horrible insane violent person!
Ah, I so love torture...Well written. Believable storyline. Good job!
Marsbareater12
11/30/2010 c3 1sisterglitch
Ah! My favorite lines:
"Evil beauty should not have shocked me, of course - isn't that what we all are?"
"If a demon was to posess an angel...this is what it would be."
"I was thrown out of Jasper's mind by...the all-devouring agony."
Regarding Jasper: "It took a lot to make him scream" Chilling.
"For almost the fist time in my damned existence, I wanted to pray."
The next part is...how can I put it...vintage Indigo!
You have really outdone yourself with the descriptions - Edwards thoughts as he suffers beyond comprehension:
"worse than the pain of transformation"..."everything was ripped away"..."how could I not be a pile of ash"..."thrown into the center of the sun." Magnificent. Seriously.
And then Edward, as soon as he has half a mind back to think with, descends into his usual self-deprecating mode.
Just when I thought he might actually be able to be a leader...
(Smile)
A tight little tale! Well done! Thank you so much!
1sisterglitchAh! My favorite lines:
"Evil beauty should not have shocked me, of course - isn't that what we all are?"
"If a demon was to posess an angel...this is what it would be."
"I was thrown out of Jasper's mind by...the all-devouring agony."
Regarding Jasper: "It took a lot to make him scream" Chilling.
"For almost the fist time in my damned existence, I wanted to pray."
The next part is...how can I put it...vintage Indigo!
You have really outdone yourself with the descriptions - Edwards thoughts as he suffers beyond comprehension:
"worse than the pain of transformation"..."everything was ripped away"..."how could I not be a pile of ash"..."thrown into the center of the sun." Magnificent. Seriously.
And then Edward, as soon as he has half a mind back to think with, descends into his usual self-deprecating mode.
Just when I thought he might actually be able to be a leader...
(Smile)
A tight little tale! Well done! Thank you so much!
11/30/2010 c2 sisterglitch
Enjoying the observations...
In the city Edward is "surrounded by the thoughts of the humans behind the walls."
To Jasper confrontation means a fight. Jasper assumes hostility on the part of the black-cloked figures.
Edward SPEAKS as his first reaction to the threat, Jasper crouches to attack. Different approaches that, to me, single Edward out as the leader of the three boys even though I would assume Jasper, in a conflict situation, would rise to the occasion because he held military rank and experience.
Edward has remembered the Volturi crest - a connection he could academically make through association with Carlisle's history, which gives him more information Jasper and Emmett do not have.
Interesting that Edward cannot consistently read the Volturis' thoughts.
Very engaging! On to Chapter 3!
Nice that Edward and Jasper's special skills are unknown to the Volturi.
Enjoying the observations...
In the city Edward is "surrounded by the thoughts of the humans behind the walls."
To Jasper confrontation means a fight. Jasper assumes hostility on the part of the black-cloked figures.
Edward SPEAKS as his first reaction to the threat, Jasper crouches to attack. Different approaches that, to me, single Edward out as the leader of the three boys even though I would assume Jasper, in a conflict situation, would rise to the occasion because he held military rank and experience.
Edward has remembered the Volturi crest - a connection he could academically make through association with Carlisle's history, which gives him more information Jasper and Emmett do not have.
Interesting that Edward cannot consistently read the Volturis' thoughts.
Very engaging! On to Chapter 3!
Nice that Edward and Jasper's special skills are unknown to the Volturi.
11/30/2010 c1 sisterglitch
I am enjoying this, your first EPOV (that I've read).
I did a bit of a double-take when I saw you had named the chapter Trespass! Hmmmm...
When Edward complains about the "constant barrage of petty human thoughts," I had to smile, thinking that the remoteness of the Cullen house not only keeps the Cullens free from a lot of human scrutiny, but gives Edward a break from constantly having to tune out the busy human thoughts around him. In someone's story, I think KIS (who also reviewed your story), there is mention of Edward being able to tune the human thoughts down to a dull roar or they would drive him mad.
I love the mention of the Cullens having to be mindful to handle the human world around them gently (the phone in the hotel room).
I like the observation that the line would be unnoticed by humans, but not to vampires. Logical. Clever. I could really see that in my mind having spent so many hours of my life seeing (from an artist's POV) colors and images others don't see.
On to Chapter 2...
I am enjoying this, your first EPOV (that I've read).
I did a bit of a double-take when I saw you had named the chapter Trespass! Hmmmm...
When Edward complains about the "constant barrage of petty human thoughts," I had to smile, thinking that the remoteness of the Cullen house not only keeps the Cullens free from a lot of human scrutiny, but gives Edward a break from constantly having to tune out the busy human thoughts around him. In someone's story, I think KIS (who also reviewed your story), there is mention of Edward being able to tune the human thoughts down to a dull roar or they would drive him mad.
I love the mention of the Cullens having to be mindful to handle the human world around them gently (the phone in the hotel room).
I like the observation that the line would be unnoticed by humans, but not to vampires. Logical. Clever. I could really see that in my mind having spent so many hours of my life seeing (from an artist's POV) colors and images others don't see.
On to Chapter 2...
11/15/2010 c3 13KimberleyIonaSmith
Wow.
That was different, and kind of scary.
I liked it, though.
I really like the voice that you've given to Edward. I think he sounds just right.
I wonder what the line was all about; are you going to take the idea further, or let it remain a mystery?
13KimberleyIonaSmithWow.
That was different, and kind of scary.
I liked it, though.
I really like the voice that you've given to Edward. I think he sounds just right.
I wonder what the line was all about; are you going to take the idea further, or let it remain a mystery?
4/8/2010 c3 13jewelsbyers
Again, all that stopped me reading was the Volturi part and I want to kick myself for it! This was a very original, very interesting story, I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of Jane! Eek! I'll just stick to reading about her!
13jewelsbyersAgain, all that stopped me reading was the Volturi part and I want to kick myself for it! This was a very original, very interesting story, I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of Jane! Eek! I'll just stick to reading about her!
12/1/2009 c2 3TorsadesMedic
Oh my gosh! So far this is fantastic! Please, please, please update soon! :D
3TorsadesMedicOh my gosh! So far this is fantastic! Please, please, please update soon! :D
12/1/2009 c2 13SeeingStars9114
Hi hi! I am a huge fan of Twilight AND the Cullen boys so this story is already my favorite! :D It is really good! I am looking forward to see what the next chapter is about so please update soon! :)
13SeeingStars9114Hi hi! I am a huge fan of Twilight AND the Cullen boys so this story is already my favorite! :D It is really good! I am looking forward to see what the next chapter is about so please update soon! :)