for Dawn of Darkness, book 2: Storms of Fury6/18/2010 c11 LionblazeWOOHOO
Great story, great ideas! One thing that I'm confused about... the names keep changing, such as Doveleaf to Dovestorm in a different chapter. Lots of names change. Also, a few grammar mistakes that could be worked on. Other than that, keep it up! Great story!
Great story, great ideas! One thing that I'm confused about... the names keep changing, such as Doveleaf to Dovestorm in a different chapter. Lots of names change. Also, a few grammar mistakes that could be worked on. Other than that, keep it up! Great story!
1/10/2010 c5 starpaw
yay new chapter... you made Ivyfang huntress sooner than I expected
yay new chapter... you made Ivyfang huntress sooner than I expected
1/9/2010 c5 Audge
A few mistakes you have here:
“No, Ivyfang, I would go anywhere with me.
and
“I didn’t ask you if you missed Dovewing, I know you miss you. I asked if you missed the Clans.”
Sorry Im a critic. :3 But thats who I am, great story so far!
A few mistakes you have here:
“No, Ivyfang, I would go anywhere with me.
and
“I didn’t ask you if you missed Dovewing, I know you miss you. I asked if you missed the Clans.”
Sorry Im a critic. :3 But thats who I am, great story so far!
12/23/2009 c4 starpaw
yay for this chapter
yay for this chapter
12/23/2009 c1 Rockpool
I was just re-reading the story,(it is awesome!) when I came across something. In the alleagences, the huntress is named Bengalfang. Yet in the story, she is addressed as Bengalclaw. What happened?
I was just re-reading the story,(it is awesome!) when I came across something. In the alleagences, the huntress is named Bengalfang. Yet in the story, she is addressed as Bengalclaw. What happened?
12/19/2009 c4 Rockpool of SkyClan
This is AMAZING! I LOVE the new aspect of the Fireclaw Nation! A good suggestion for you, though, would be...since the Nation lives off the opposite side of the warriorcode,(hunting for yourself, killing ruthlessly, ect.)the nation should disobey the ENTIRE warrior code, then Ivyfang could be surprised...And the rest is up to you! Your stories are AMAZING, and don't stop writing!
This is AMAZING! I LOVE the new aspect of the Fireclaw Nation! A good suggestion for you, though, would be...since the Nation lives off the opposite side of the warriorcode,(hunting for yourself, killing ruthlessly, ect.)the nation should disobey the ENTIRE warrior code, then Ivyfang could be surprised...And the rest is up to you! Your stories are AMAZING, and don't stop writing!
12/8/2009 c3 starpaw
"shivers"
"shivers"
12/7/2009 c1 starpaw
um... wheres Ivy(insert last half of name here that I think is stone)
um... wheres Ivy(insert last half of name here that I think is stone)