for You and Me12/20/2023 c33 
1divyvicki
Wonderful story. I’m surprised it took so long for Bella and Edward to marry.
1divyvickiWonderful story. I’m surprised it took so long for Bella and Edward to marry.
12/15/2023 c24 divyvicki
Well, we got rid of Mike, now Edward just needs to get his head out of his ass!
Well, we got rid of Mike, now Edward just needs to get his head out of his ass!
12/15/2023 c21 divyvicki
Glad she opened up to them. How much longer do we have to put up with Mike and Victoria?
Glad she opened up to them. How much longer do we have to put up with Mike and Victoria?
9/19/2022 c32 1JayNahNah
The story is good but way too many inconsistencies & errors.
There’s no customs between states. You wrote Edward heard the door open 11:45p so that implied Bella made it to the countdown. Yet when you wrote Bella’s POV, you have her driving through McDonald’s at 1a.
1JayNahNahThe story is good but way too many inconsistencies & errors.
There’s no customs between states. You wrote Edward heard the door open 11:45p so that implied Bella made it to the countdown. Yet when you wrote Bella’s POV, you have her driving through McDonald’s at 1a.
9/18/2022 c15 JayNahNah
I love the story so far (just found it so this review may mean nothing to you) but if you’re serious about re-editing it a few suggestions.
1. Need consistency. The first chapter says Edward is the lead singer for the band Eclipse. Now the band is called Hour Glass Shot. Very confusing.
2. No one calls it Hollywood. It’s too generic
3. If you are going to re-edit, may want to rethink the ages. They’re not believable. At 17, Bella is not old enough to sign contracts, a 19 year old boy would be hard pressed to take care of a 3 year old. 21 year old Mike Newton, film maker extraordinaire is not realistic. Make them at least a year or so past legal. Giving alcohol to a minor would be a big issue.
4. The character development is great except for the ages. Bella should be at least 19, Edward 21, the rest between 23-25.
5. No parental influence is unusual without a set up in the earlier chapters. They can be minor but it should be mentioned as to why. Did they die? Was it a foster family or orphanage situation?
Just a few suggestions. Feel free to ignore.
I love the story so far (just found it so this review may mean nothing to you) but if you’re serious about re-editing it a few suggestions.
1. Need consistency. The first chapter says Edward is the lead singer for the band Eclipse. Now the band is called Hour Glass Shot. Very confusing.
2. No one calls it Hollywood. It’s too generic
3. If you are going to re-edit, may want to rethink the ages. They’re not believable. At 17, Bella is not old enough to sign contracts, a 19 year old boy would be hard pressed to take care of a 3 year old. 21 year old Mike Newton, film maker extraordinaire is not realistic. Make them at least a year or so past legal. Giving alcohol to a minor would be a big issue.
4. The character development is great except for the ages. Bella should be at least 19, Edward 21, the rest between 23-25.
5. No parental influence is unusual without a set up in the earlier chapters. They can be minor but it should be mentioned as to why. Did they die? Was it a foster family or orphanage situation?
Just a few suggestions. Feel free to ignore.
3/25/2021 c15 Lisa
Ok I like this chapter.
Ok I like this chapter.
3/25/2021 c14 Lisa
I feel bad for them.
I feel bad for them.
3/25/2021 c13 Lisa
Emmett is a good friend.
Emmett is a good friend.