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8/9/2019 c4 3Azufyra
Jedi at Hogwarts !
6/18/2013 c4 Guest
im writing a story like this do u mind?
10/6/2012 c4 3Hamotron
Have you read the rules? I hope you're planning to get rid of this when you update.
10/6/2012 c3 Hamotron
This is irredeemable. No break between story and author's note, story has dreadful punctuation/grammar, and it's all in one paragraph. If you want to rewrite it as closely as you can, I suggest:
The next morning, the three of us went to the great hall together. (I'm sorry, the racing bit cannot be saved.) I still wasn't quite used to the food here, but breakfast this morning was actually quite good. (I'm using your characters, but they have no relationship to the books/ movies that they're from except for the names.) We were still eating when Ron began complaining about the schedules. "Can you believe this? We have DADA first three times this week!" Harry winced. "And Snape's going to spend the whole time on how I wasn't good enough to take potions and become an auror; I just know that her will."
"Well, I'm off to Arithmancy, I hope you guys enjoy DADA!" Hermione waved as she ran out of the great hall. Ron muttered something as she went, and Harry nodded. I glanced over at them happily as I read my schedule. "Free period! Do you two also have one?" Ron nodded happily. "And Hermione isn't here to make us do homework, either!" I nodded, and then suddenly remembered something. "I have to talk to Professor Jinn, but I'll see you two later." (Cool American expression. Harry Potter British.) t still felt strange, almost disrespectful, to call him that.
I walked quickly to his classroom before Harry or Ron could ask why I needed to talk to him. "You wanted to see me, Master?" He nodded looking slightly upset. "Yes. The Council needs me somewhere else, but they wish you to stay here to protect Harry Potter." I stared at him. "But Master, I've never-"
He shook his head. "I know, but you know the council. And someone must stay here to protect Harry. And... the council has discovered a sibling of yours here at Hogwarts."
"Who is it, Master?"
"I cannot tell you, but it says here. Do not open this unless there is trouble." (Personally, I think this part should be completely changed, but I don't want to destroy your plot.) I frowned slightly. "Aren't we supposed to remain separate from our families, Master?" He nodded gravely, but I could tell that he was smiling. "We are." I rolled my eyes. "Master, can't you ever follow the code?" He shook his head. "Goodbye, Padawan."
"Goodbye, Master."
Like I said, I'd change the whole plot, but it's your story. This is isn't that much better than what you have, but it's a start.
10/6/2012 c2 Hamotron
Bad punctuation, badly paraphrased quotes- I don't mind if you steal quotes, but that's kind of pathetic. Also, the exact quotes are NOT in italics, and you've randomly switched to first person narrative.
10/6/2012 c1 Hamotron
It seems slightly random- no backround whatsoever, and the characters are off. I advise a beta.
Interesting idea, though, and if it could be saved I think that it could turn out really well.
3/5/2012 c4 Guest
Update!
11/15/2010 c2 Immortalis Cruor Elf
update sooooooooooooon!
10/30/2010 c2 Leezie
Oh, please update! There are almost no good crossovers up, and this one looks really promising.

Just some rules that I've been thinking of lately for how spells and stuff work for Jedi:

-Lightsabers work inside hogwarts because they contain the Force shard

-Spells are energy, the same as blaster bolts, so they can be deflected by a lightsaber

-Wizards don't exactly use the Force, they channel it through their wands. This makes magic a less powerful but more diverse way of using the Force.

-Jedi can do to spells with the force alone whatever they can do to blaster bolts with the force alone.

-Jedi can use wands.

-Dark Wizards channel the Dark Side and have Dark Side auras. OH! You should have voldy attack hogwarts and have our 2 jedi mistake him and the death eaters as sith or dark jedi.

Also, Obi-Wan Kenobi was like a 'saber prodigy at this age, so I want him to pull his 'saber with his master against Voldy, or, better yet, Madam Bella!

From,

Leezie
9/26/2010 c2 1Flying Chrissy
A very interesting story!look forward to the next update.
9/11/2010 c2 Leezie
Dear Author,

Oh, this sounds like a really good one! please please update more! I would like to see loads of slip-ups by the jedi on their identity. that would make for a good crossover fanfic. also i would like to have the all-powerful (remember that!) obi-wan beat harry in a duel in his awesome and all-powerful jedi self. that would be really awesome!

thanks and UPDATE!

-Leezie
7/26/2010 c1 110NabikiB
Clumsy at best, no backstory, no background, no lead up and no depth.
7/20/2010 c2 2DDubs
This is really good! I can't wait will you update.
6/15/2010 c1 5TS3KayMarie
Hello
6/6/2010 c2 18Tango Dancer
Mmm, that sounds interesting, I look forward to reading the next chapter! Hope you update soon, this is promising!
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