9/1/2010 c1 5Acionna
:) Loved the story! So sweet and fluffehhhhhhhhhh! Wheeeeee!

5/3/2010 c1 31Arii-hime
LOL! XD

This was TOO cute and TOO funny. Hahaha. :D Will I ever be able to stop laughing at Hotaru's letter? No. XD
OR Natsume's, at that. His was so cute. Just like he is. :3

Mikan wiped her eyes and looked at Yuu with determination. "Yuu, who makes fun of you? I'll beat them to a pulp for making fun of you!"

"Yes, would you like me to blackmail them for you Tobita?" Hotaru asked, a bit excited.

"Expect them dead tomorrow." Natsume said.

OMG WTF? XD

Throwing aside my shenanigans, this was so funny. It was pretty good for your first fic. In my opinion it should have gotten more reviews. Keep it up! :D

~Ariisha

3/9/2010 c1 Maizz
I FEEL LAZY SO I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE YOU A QUICK REVIEW~

OMFG, MINGSTER. YOU ARE LIKE AWESOMME. Omfg. I need to stop typing in caps. Jesus. Okay, ANYWAYS, I like lurved this. Especially the last line. :3 That was like so so so so so cute. AHAHAH. POLKA-DOTTED BOXERS. Good shit.

"Oh. Well I wanna have a pet of my own when I get big!" - THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. 'Cause it said when I get big. . .and I think you know what the rest would be. . . ;)

-Ruler

1/3/2010 c1 1cutiebear14
aw! hilarious! il oved every bit of it! great job!

1/1/2010 c1 Vione
Cute fanfic ;)

And, haha, I love Hotaru's letter! She's totally my idol, LMAO.

1/1/2010 c1 1Thou Failed Rapist
Like you said, mistakes I would gladly write down here. :D It's not to make you feel bad.

When you have a dialogue and then a narrated fragment, the punctuation is important. I made this mistake too before I was taught proper sentence structure.

For example:

“Yeah, they said they got everything.” Kitsuneme replied.

After "everything" there should be a comma, not a period. End quote with "Kitsuneme replied" Unless it's not a period, but like an exclamation point or question mark, a comma is supposed to go there, because "Kitsuneme replied" follows.

However, if the "Kitsuneme replied" part was in front and the dialogue came next, then the period is fine.

For your first fic, this is pretty well done. You just might want to work on paragraph structure. Make paragraphs instead of typing one or two lines and then ENTER for another few. It can get a little annoying with all the ENTERing.

With a couple more fics, you'd be great in no time. :D

1/1/2010 c1 9buttcake
It took me a while...But I managed. :)

So, I shall be a prick. You missed a few commas when there were direct addresses, you replaced a verb with a participle, and well, basically just commas. 8D... But the letters were awesome.

Because I'm well aware of people being sensitive - I hope you're not - I don't really mention mistakes unless I'm close to them. (: But for a first time, it was good.

I want Natsume's letter...ROFL. I'll take Mikan, buy some polka-dotted boxers, and hold them captive...Let's see what he does. -eyes gleam- LMAO.

Children...Aah...Such nostalgic feelings. (: I wonder how teachers handle them. 8D

Anyways, great job! (: Tehee~ I enjoyed it~