for What happens when the Volturi visit7/11/2011 c18 
7MirMir eats chocolate
Okay, so as a close friend I'll say that you should definitely not chuck a good idea into the trash bin. I suggest the recycle bin. I found it to be a good idea and with some tweaks and better detail and grammar, I think you could really have a successful piece of writing here. I (because of how extremely nice I am) could be your beta because I've seen you do some editing before and it seems to infuriate you. You know how fast I am at editing, and I promise that I won't do anything stupid. What do ya' say?
7MirMir eats chocolateOkay, so as a close friend I'll say that you should definitely not chuck a good idea into the trash bin. I suggest the recycle bin. I found it to be a good idea and with some tweaks and better detail and grammar, I think you could really have a successful piece of writing here. I (because of how extremely nice I am) could be your beta because I've seen you do some editing before and it seems to infuriate you. You know how fast I am at editing, and I promise that I won't do anything stupid. What do ya' say?
12/21/2010 c1 jasperlover3
not bad kinda wierd though...
not bad kinda wierd though...
8/4/2010 c14 bythevishanti
For one thing, every author gets at least a few flames in his/her lifetime. Some people like the story, some people don't. Now, don't let flames bug you. Just carry on with the story (unless you have writer's block or something).
Second, those people asking you stuff like, "Why does Erin have like 8 powers?"... That's just so that they can understand the story more. If they're saying that because they don't like the story, you don't have to get all personal about it. Everyone has they're own opinion.
Lastly, people who tell you to use better grammar, spelling, and etc, that's just constructive criticism that could make your story even better. And people who tell you that "this character doesn't do this, or that," that's also to make your story better.
Anyway... please continue. :)
~LUUE
For one thing, every author gets at least a few flames in his/her lifetime. Some people like the story, some people don't. Now, don't let flames bug you. Just carry on with the story (unless you have writer's block or something).
Second, those people asking you stuff like, "Why does Erin have like 8 powers?"... That's just so that they can understand the story more. If they're saying that because they don't like the story, you don't have to get all personal about it. Everyone has they're own opinion.
Lastly, people who tell you to use better grammar, spelling, and etc, that's just constructive criticism that could make your story even better. And people who tell you that "this character doesn't do this, or that," that's also to make your story better.
Anyway... please continue. :)
~LUUE
7/27/2010 c1 yo
continue you freak or i will send you to tataraus!
(or how ever you spell it)
continue you freak or i will send you to tataraus!
(or how ever you spell it)
7/5/2010 c14 SisterOfAnElvenWannabe
i love this story but if you got a beta for it it would be even more amazing
i love this story but if you got a beta for it it would be even more amazing
6/27/2010 c17 twi-freak101
oh my gosh this is awesome! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!
oh my gosh this is awesome! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!
6/19/2010 c17 Chad17
You DID leave off with a cliffhanger! Hahaha, oh, by the way, Xbox rocks. Don't bring a Nintendo into the story, please. Just saying!
I can tell you used "mentor text" like they taught us at school in your story, when Edward and Erin were talking in their minds. I thought that was cool. And Erin to Dog. Of course!
Wait a second, I just thought of something. If Erin said Percy was good-looking, and Percy is her BROTHER, then... Creepy!
Yay! The werewolves and the vamps are going to fight! Too bad Erin is "in love" with Seth, I'd love to see her fight.
Oh well, keep writing!
You DID leave off with a cliffhanger! Hahaha, oh, by the way, Xbox rocks. Don't bring a Nintendo into the story, please. Just saying!
I can tell you used "mentor text" like they taught us at school in your story, when Edward and Erin were talking in their minds. I thought that was cool. And Erin to Dog. Of course!
Wait a second, I just thought of something. If Erin said Percy was good-looking, and Percy is her BROTHER, then... Creepy!
Yay! The werewolves and the vamps are going to fight! Too bad Erin is "in love" with Seth, I'd love to see her fight.
Oh well, keep writing!
6/19/2010 c16 Chad17
Crap, that voice scared me! At least it's gone now. Erin seems evil now... bwah ha ha and all. I feel sorry for Erin. Maybe if she tells them that she's a vampire they won't get upset because she told the truth. Maybe they'll understand because, HELLO? Everyone else there is a freak! Half-God, half-human? That doesn't exist in our world. So why would they get mad at Erin for being a vampire?
Keep writing!
Crap, that voice scared me! At least it's gone now. Erin seems evil now... bwah ha ha and all. I feel sorry for Erin. Maybe if she tells them that she's a vampire they won't get upset because she told the truth. Maybe they'll understand because, HELLO? Everyone else there is a freak! Half-God, half-human? That doesn't exist in our world. So why would they get mad at Erin for being a vampire?
Keep writing!
6/19/2010 c15 Chad17
I agree, vampires are naturally sexy. Funny! More funny than some of your other chapters, keep the funny coming! Except I think that Erin started to act more like a girlie-girl than who she normally is. Could that be because she turned 16? The world may nevah know.
Keep writing!
I agree, vampires are naturally sexy. Funny! More funny than some of your other chapters, keep the funny coming! Except I think that Erin started to act more like a girlie-girl than who she normally is. Could that be because she turned 16? The world may nevah know.
Keep writing!
6/18/2010 c17 7MirMir eats chocolate
I think that chapter 17 is soooooo much better than the other ones because the characters seem more three dimensional than they ever have. Also I think that it makes more sense because the grammar is a lot better and there's also the fact that Seth impriinted on Erin and hat made the plot even more different than any I have ever seen. Keep writing. I'm already looking forward to the next chapter!
7MirMir eats chocolateI think that chapter 17 is soooooo much better than the other ones because the characters seem more three dimensional than they ever have. Also I think that it makes more sense because the grammar is a lot better and there's also the fact that Seth impriinted on Erin and hat made the plot even more different than any I have ever seen. Keep writing. I'm already looking forward to the next chapter!