for Shinigami's Touch5/3/2010 c2 
1Akira Stridder
him "tobi" is in the area... and this thing have never been done before so good job!
1Akira Stridderhim "tobi" is in the area... and this thing have never been done before so good job!
5/3/2010 c6 3Raidentensho
another good one. your version of naruto seems to give insight to tobiramma with his sensor abilities and water jutsu talent. what next? i really can't wait for more. until then, ja!
3Raidentenshoanother good one. your version of naruto seems to give insight to tobiramma with his sensor abilities and water jutsu talent. what next? i really can't wait for more. until then, ja!
5/3/2010 c2 Darksnider05
Arg get a beta or re-read this before you ever post it again. Also spell check and make sure it flows.
Wall of white is evil let's try some spacing. Good story otherwise.
Arg get a beta or re-read this before you ever post it again. Also spell check and make sure it flows.
Wall of white is evil let's try some spacing. Good story otherwise.
2/20/2010 c5 35Shinichi06
Great Story. Initiatly I wanted to comment on the poor Grammar in the first few chapters, but by Chapter 3 it was acceptable, and at Chapter 4 it was pretty good. Although I have to add in, thou does NOT mean though, or even though. Thou is a word used in Old English and it means "you". Just take note of that. There's still the occasional mistake here and there, but I think it's an incredible improvement from the Prologue chapter.
That aside, I think this is an interesting concept. Giving Naruto the ability to "eat up souls" is rarely heard of. I also like how you made Naruto one of the sevens swordsman of the mist. The way you created an "initiation test" of some sort was also good, because most of the time, we only see Naruto getting the sword, and that's all.
I also liked your version of Kakashi, as someone who is completely lazy and uncaring to anything else. I think he depicts the personification of someone who lives only in the past and in his own world and escaping reality. Just a question, are you going to develop Kakashi further or will he stay like this?
Lastly, are there going to be any pairings in this story? Because personally, I think the approach you have so far in not having any is good.
Goodluck and I hope you update soon! This story is excellent so far.
35Shinichi06Great Story. Initiatly I wanted to comment on the poor Grammar in the first few chapters, but by Chapter 3 it was acceptable, and at Chapter 4 it was pretty good. Although I have to add in, thou does NOT mean though, or even though. Thou is a word used in Old English and it means "you". Just take note of that. There's still the occasional mistake here and there, but I think it's an incredible improvement from the Prologue chapter.
That aside, I think this is an interesting concept. Giving Naruto the ability to "eat up souls" is rarely heard of. I also like how you made Naruto one of the sevens swordsman of the mist. The way you created an "initiation test" of some sort was also good, because most of the time, we only see Naruto getting the sword, and that's all.
I also liked your version of Kakashi, as someone who is completely lazy and uncaring to anything else. I think he depicts the personification of someone who lives only in the past and in his own world and escaping reality. Just a question, are you going to develop Kakashi further or will he stay like this?
Lastly, are there going to be any pairings in this story? Because personally, I think the approach you have so far in not having any is good.
Goodluck and I hope you update soon! This story is excellent so far.
2/9/2010 c5 Itachidono
good story keep up the great work and update soon. i really enjoy the way uve portrayed kakashi i like how his neglect is due to his not giving a shit i look forward to reading more
good story keep up the great work and update soon. i really enjoy the way uve portrayed kakashi i like how his neglect is due to his not giving a shit i look forward to reading more
2/9/2010 c5 2HeWhoWatchesFromTheMist
I fucking love this story.
it is awesome, any nay sayers shall be immediatly smited.
keep it up, you win 100 internets.
2HeWhoWatchesFromTheMistI fucking love this story.
it is awesome, any nay sayers shall be immediatly smited.
keep it up, you win 100 internets.
2/7/2010 c5 Fuyuriku
I would have to agree about the Hachiman's scenes. But otherwise, not a bad chapter. :P
I would have to agree about the Hachiman's scenes. But otherwise, not a bad chapter. :P