for Shinigami's Touch2/6/2010 c5 simplicity.exe
this is great, besides the slightly odd structure of paragraphs and dialog i found myself very easily immersed in the story and am eagerly awaiting the next update. aces ten
this is great, besides the slightly odd structure of paragraphs and dialog i found myself very easily immersed in the story and am eagerly awaiting the next update. aces ten
2/6/2010 c5 Knyght
Great fic, only thing i would recommend would be to have sarutobi give naruto a field promotion to chunin. That way you can skip the chunin exams or twist them a bit, the exams have very little room for innovation and probably every variant has already been done; from someone of team 7 dieing to naruto killing orochimaru. A good alternative would be a promoted naruto leaving team 7 1 member short, you could add sai and keep as usual while having naruto do more interesting stuff, or outright ban team 7 making sasuke blow up in anger.
Great fic, only thing i would recommend would be to have sarutobi give naruto a field promotion to chunin. That way you can skip the chunin exams or twist them a bit, the exams have very little room for innovation and probably every variant has already been done; from someone of team 7 dieing to naruto killing orochimaru. A good alternative would be a promoted naruto leaving team 7 1 member short, you could add sai and keep as usual while having naruto do more interesting stuff, or outright ban team 7 making sasuke blow up in anger.
2/6/2010 c5 
3Raidentensho
nice one. i so can't wait for more to really shape up. hopefully the next chapter he, by chance, runs into tsunade and he gets patched up by her. i wouldn't mind that a bit. until then, ja!
3Raidentenshonice one. i so can't wait for more to really shape up. hopefully the next chapter he, by chance, runs into tsunade and he gets patched up by her. i wouldn't mind that a bit. until then, ja!
2/6/2010 c5 3Gelionlegends
Nice and interesting chapter i liked it a lot though there ar somethings that i don't like much.
1 would be tenten getting that scroll with the blood seal getting the Uzumaki secret techniques is a bit much as well as naruto forgetting to either seal or giving her the scroll with it on.
As tenten is unlike to be unable to use most if not all of them plus the fact that they have Uzumaki on while she can look at them she should ask naruto first if she can be allowed to use them. Those that she can that is as if she didn't then basically she is like kakashi and sasuke taking others justsu's and training to use it with out asking the owner like gai and lee.
Well that is my thoughts really.
2 would be when he talked to the 3rd contact in the weapons shop he didn't ask about who the new mizukage is as that would be helpful in his mission finding out who it is and if the bloodline purge is truly over.
well this one is more of an idea that about Raiga sword your idea of it beein one big one well why not have that as the basic state and for surprise he can split it into two swords making it more dangerous and increasing his speed and attacks when done.
3GelionlegendsNice and interesting chapter i liked it a lot though there ar somethings that i don't like much.
1 would be tenten getting that scroll with the blood seal getting the Uzumaki secret techniques is a bit much as well as naruto forgetting to either seal or giving her the scroll with it on.
As tenten is unlike to be unable to use most if not all of them plus the fact that they have Uzumaki on while she can look at them she should ask naruto first if she can be allowed to use them. Those that she can that is as if she didn't then basically she is like kakashi and sasuke taking others justsu's and training to use it with out asking the owner like gai and lee.
Well that is my thoughts really.
2 would be when he talked to the 3rd contact in the weapons shop he didn't ask about who the new mizukage is as that would be helpful in his mission finding out who it is and if the bloodline purge is truly over.
well this one is more of an idea that about Raiga sword your idea of it beein one big one well why not have that as the basic state and for surprise he can split it into two swords making it more dangerous and increasing his speed and attacks when done.
2/1/2010 c4 schnookums
Great update. I can't wait for the next update and find out what Narutos up to.
Great update. I can't wait for the next update and find out what Narutos up to.
2/1/2010 c4 Fuyuriku
Hmmn, one annoying thing is that you type "quiet" "quiet" while ... well, examples will have to do...
1. Naruto was quietly walking in the forest.
2. Naruto wasn't quite sure if he should stay quiet or not.
For you, you use quiet, instead of quite in the second example. Hope that doesn't happen in the future. :P
As for the story, quite good, hope you start giving more details about what Naruto is doing beside training and missions... So far that's all you been showing us. :P
Hmmn, one annoying thing is that you type "quiet" "quiet" while ... well, examples will have to do...
1. Naruto was quietly walking in the forest.
2. Naruto wasn't quite sure if he should stay quiet or not.
For you, you use quiet, instead of quite in the second example. Hope that doesn't happen in the future. :P
As for the story, quite good, hope you start giving more details about what Naruto is doing beside training and missions... So far that's all you been showing us. :P
2/1/2010 c2 Fuyuriku
Well, actually kakashi created regular clones (Bunshin no Jutsu), (only seeable, not touchable, no footsteps, no shadows, just illusions) while Naruto created solid clones (Kage Bunshin no jutsu), as for the "splitting the users chakra" yes, that is confusing, considering how, in theory, Naruto splits his chakra hundreds of times over (or dozens) then the chakra gets dispersed (or destroyed) and he keeps spamming them and the regular rasengan in between... Doesn't make much sense indeed. :P
O well, onward with the story...
Well, actually kakashi created regular clones (Bunshin no Jutsu), (only seeable, not touchable, no footsteps, no shadows, just illusions) while Naruto created solid clones (Kage Bunshin no jutsu), as for the "splitting the users chakra" yes, that is confusing, considering how, in theory, Naruto splits his chakra hundreds of times over (or dozens) then the chakra gets dispersed (or destroyed) and he keeps spamming them and the regular rasengan in between... Doesn't make much sense indeed. :P
O well, onward with the story...
1/30/2010 c2 TheDon1023
actually the clones that kakashi uses on the bridge after the fight are shadow clones, they were regular bunshins. he was hoping that untrained bandits wouldnt notice the difference and think them the same as narutos solid ones. so once you think of it like that, the chakra level thing becomes much less confusing
actually the clones that kakashi uses on the bridge after the fight are shadow clones, they were regular bunshins. he was hoping that untrained bandits wouldnt notice the difference and think them the same as narutos solid ones. so once you think of it like that, the chakra level thing becomes much less confusing
1/30/2010 c4 MKayMIN20
great read
glad for the fast update
question: will Tsubasa also be absorbed into Naruto?
and I totally agree with you on western character names; trying to read through a hit naruto fan fic with many reviews, only to stop cuz some random secondary characters shows up with the name Bob and Jim - (If the genre is humor, then I can sort of accept it, but these stories that i've read aren't =_=|| so it's really weird)
...unfortunately I don't know any source to help you with the Japanese names, sry:P
great read
glad for the fast update
question: will Tsubasa also be absorbed into Naruto?
and I totally agree with you on western character names; trying to read through a hit naruto fan fic with many reviews, only to stop cuz some random secondary characters shows up with the name Bob and Jim - (If the genre is humor, then I can sort of accept it, but these stories that i've read aren't =_=|| so it's really weird)
...unfortunately I don't know any source to help you with the Japanese names, sry:P
1/29/2010 c2 1uberjjk
The manga can be confusing, from my understanding it screwed up with wave, as a lot of finer details weren't planned out yet. Kakashi exhausted and able to form that many shadow clones? Not happening.
As for that dividing chakra thing with shadow clones. I think the idea is that if you make one clone it has fifty percent your chakra and you have the other fifty percent. if you make ninety nine clones then each has one percent your chakra and you have one percent.
This limits that shadow clone technique in that the more you produce the less capable they are, unless your naruto who's 1/30th of his chakra is around that of most chunins full chakra levels. (elemental training arc where naruto had 30ish clones yet still had enough chakra to do high chunin/ low jonin level exercises required for learning elemental jutsu.
1uberjjkThe manga can be confusing, from my understanding it screwed up with wave, as a lot of finer details weren't planned out yet. Kakashi exhausted and able to form that many shadow clones? Not happening.
As for that dividing chakra thing with shadow clones. I think the idea is that if you make one clone it has fifty percent your chakra and you have the other fifty percent. if you make ninety nine clones then each has one percent your chakra and you have one percent.
This limits that shadow clone technique in that the more you produce the less capable they are, unless your naruto who's 1/30th of his chakra is around that of most chunins full chakra levels. (elemental training arc where naruto had 30ish clones yet still had enough chakra to do high chunin/ low jonin level exercises required for learning elemental jutsu.