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3/7/2010 c9 6Kichi-Baka
We, Yummy chapter ^o^ xD

(Sugar High) *o*
3/7/2010 c9 AiRiRi123
Love the plot!I liked the part where Rima-chan and Nagi had a conversation in their heads!
2/27/2010 c8 AiRiRi123
Love the story!
2/27/2010 c8 3Chika Hoshi
Okay, now for a proper review!

Okay, for the most part, I felt like it was rushing itself. It seemed to expect readers to get it, especially opening up to the OCs, which was something I wasn't able to do. I found it confusing at times and I wonder where the story is going. I felt like there wasn't enough in one chapter to really get into the story, so I hard trouble time reading it.

Sometimes, how it was written can feel awkward and maybe you should double-check your work. There was grammar mistakes, yes, but the main thing I've am troubled by is how you over use the comma, especially for dialog.

It lacks seriousness and any other tone to make it really driven for the story. Another thing is Character's POV. It felt rather plain to see them explain how was going on to the point that doesn't make seem exciting. For example, Yaya is one character who surely would have more voice in POVs. She's the girl who hyperactive, so I wonder why she seemed to calm in the POV as well as Rima, Nagihiko and the others seem to have trouble at this too.

I apologize if I offended you in any way, but I wanted to make some things clear. If I hadn't, I'll be more than happy to elaborate on it with you. The story has potential-but it also has trouble getting there.

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c7 Chika Hoshi
...It's confusing?...Or maybe it's because I'm sped reading...

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c6 Chika Hoshi
I hardly felt like anything important happened in this chap...

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c5 Chika Hoshi
Erm, another company going on in a story, well, I don't mean to be rude, but I am feeling weary about it. Would it support the story, or would it just be another common thing to use in the story? Well...I'll explain it more when I get there...

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c4 Chika Hoshi
It's kind of weary for me, but I'll explain later on...

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c3 Chika Hoshi
I don't have much to say essentially for this chapter...but I promise I'll give a much proper review in the more recent chap.

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c2 Chika Hoshi
Well, I guess I should have known that she was that person, but anywho, gosh, it's such a rushed story-plot so far. But eh.

A bit of advice, if you write only for reviews, it'll only go downhill. :/

Chika H.~
2/27/2010 c1 Chika Hoshi
Good glory, that was a really fast pace chapter. O.o Something about it makes it look really rushed and unexplained of a few things that could have been explained like how did the heck did Rima thought those things. Dream? I wouldn't think that would be enough... but eh. But I can't say much until I get into more of it. So...*continues reading*

Chika H.~
2/26/2010 c8 25LuvMeOrHateMe
COOL! That was awesome! Oh, Rima's father, Tsk Tsk Tsk. No father should hurt his daughter. But still awesome! n_n

2/26/2010 c8 6Kichi-Baka
Fate:update soon! -prances around a fire with a roasted tadase-

Amu: Uh... Fate, What're you doing?

Fate: Nothing, hey amu go get me some more fire wood.

Amu: Okay!

Fate: Now that shes gone! xD Ok,So this chapterd was amazingly awesome. So Update soon =)
2/22/2010 c7 14Bookworm290
whoa, freky ending! please update soon! and who exactly is lorea?
2/21/2010 c7 13hopexescaliber
was the ghost girl chouko ?
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