for Heart and Soul1/22/2010 c1 
1Stiehl
Well, I'm hooked. Can't wait for the next chapter. I wonder who this J.S. guy is and what they're planning?
1StiehlWell, I'm hooked. Can't wait for the next chapter. I wonder who this J.S. guy is and what they're planning?
1/20/2010 c1 Ann Jinn
A name change and new venue of tales to tell. Very good. When I first saw the name, I couldn't figure out how I knew it. Now, it's simple.
For your first a really great tale. Although told from Sirius' side, it is an interesting look at the characters. From his body language and actions in the film, one could see a man of action forced into inaction. Good to see a little plotting.
Liked the description of Dumbledore. The secrecy seems to be his undoing.
A name change and new venue of tales to tell. Very good. When I first saw the name, I couldn't figure out how I knew it. Now, it's simple.
For your first a really great tale. Although told from Sirius' side, it is an interesting look at the characters. From his body language and actions in the film, one could see a man of action forced into inaction. Good to see a little plotting.
Liked the description of Dumbledore. The secrecy seems to be his undoing.
1/20/2010 c1 Blah
I really like your setup(flee country after GOF due to the ministry) here as it's rarely used in the HP genre but I really fear you ruin this realism with harem nonsense which usually either is only written to satisfy somebody's wet dreams or gets just too painfully corny. It just doesn't work in any realistic story, period. And your first chapter shows you can write realism, don't ruin that.
I really like your setup(flee country after GOF due to the ministry) here as it's rarely used in the HP genre but I really fear you ruin this realism with harem nonsense which usually either is only written to satisfy somebody's wet dreams or gets just too painfully corny. It just doesn't work in any realistic story, period. And your first chapter shows you can write realism, don't ruin that.
1/20/2010 c1 Doni
Nice Beginning. You have a really amusing and interesting way of phrasing things that is fun to read..."His whole family, while most had not been Death Eaters, had certainly held similar beliefs with Voldemort and his merry band of crazies and had, as a whole, been about as pleasant as a nest of hungry acromantulas—and almost as personable too."
I hope you continue this story because I look forward to reading more.
Nice Beginning. You have a really amusing and interesting way of phrasing things that is fun to read..."His whole family, while most had not been Death Eaters, had certainly held similar beliefs with Voldemort and his merry band of crazies and had, as a whole, been about as pleasant as a nest of hungry acromantulas—and almost as personable too."
I hope you continue this story because I look forward to reading more.
1/20/2010 c1 lmill123
I enjoyed what you have written so far and am looking forward to your next update. Who is Sirus's friend? When will Sirus realize that after his talk with Dumbledore that the old many only see's Harry as a weapon in the upcoming war with Volderlmolt.. Because if Dumbledore really cared for Harry, then he would be all for Sirus taking Harry out of the Country and training him for what he will have to face.
I enjoyed what you have written so far and am looking forward to your next update. Who is Sirus's friend? When will Sirus realize that after his talk with Dumbledore that the old many only see's Harry as a weapon in the upcoming war with Volderlmolt.. Because if Dumbledore really cared for Harry, then he would be all for Sirus taking Harry out of the Country and training him for what he will have to face.
1/20/2010 c1 7Teufel1987
Intriguing! Very intriguing!
I want more!
I cannot wait to see where you plan on going with this ...
great chapter ... though there are some errors ... as for the pairings, I have no problems as to whom you pair Harry with as long as it is not (the highly irritating) Hermione Granger ... she is a great friend and a useful ally to have, but her personality and Harry's personality will not allow any long term commitments ... Harry is too stubborn and does not like having his life being dictated while Hermione can be aggressively assertive ...
Anyway, update soon!
7Teufel1987Intriguing! Very intriguing!
I want more!
I cannot wait to see where you plan on going with this ...
great chapter ... though there are some errors ... as for the pairings, I have no problems as to whom you pair Harry with as long as it is not (the highly irritating) Hermione Granger ... she is a great friend and a useful ally to have, but her personality and Harry's personality will not allow any long term commitments ... Harry is too stubborn and does not like having his life being dictated while Hermione can be aggressively assertive ...
Anyway, update soon!
1/20/2010 c1 ladysavay
I like your writing style and I was glad to see that long chapters from you are not a burden. I was, however, a little put off by how much you restated what anyone who read the books already knew. I found myself skimming much of it and that made me sad.
Hopefully, now that we have a new direction from canon the next chapter will be more attention grabbing and the need to skim will vanish. I would caution you against anything but brief retellings of the book from here on. We know what happened to Harry with the dementors and we know he is now scared and angry.
I'm looking forward to how Sirius' plan will work and how he plans to tell Harry about it.
I like your writing style and I was glad to see that long chapters from you are not a burden. I was, however, a little put off by how much you restated what anyone who read the books already knew. I found myself skimming much of it and that made me sad.
Hopefully, now that we have a new direction from canon the next chapter will be more attention grabbing and the need to skim will vanish. I would caution you against anything but brief retellings of the book from here on. We know what happened to Harry with the dementors and we know he is now scared and angry.
I'm looking forward to how Sirius' plan will work and how he plans to tell Harry about it.
1/20/2010 c1 1DeliaDee
This is an interesting beginning and I do look forward to seeing where it goes. I would like to ask, however, that you let us know which girls Harry is going to be involved with. I have no problem with him being involved with two girls but I also know I'm not alone in saying that there are certain pairings that I simply will not read and it would be best to know ahead of time before I get too into the story. Thanks.
1DeliaDeeThis is an interesting beginning and I do look forward to seeing where it goes. I would like to ask, however, that you let us know which girls Harry is going to be involved with. I have no problem with him being involved with two girls but I also know I'm not alone in saying that there are certain pairings that I simply will not read and it would be best to know ahead of time before I get too into the story. Thanks.
1/20/2010 c1 Slytherin66
This was a very enjoyable read once I started I did not stop until I was at the end. A really good plot and lots of nice details and very well written. I hope Harry can be set free and is not to upset about leaving his friends, Ron is no great loss and Granger will always follow the Headmaster rather than act in Harry interest she is only really interested in her number of Outstanding grades she gets. I also hope the Black family can reverse the decline and come back to prominence.
I hope the next chapter is soon I can't wait.
Thanks very much
This was a very enjoyable read once I started I did not stop until I was at the end. A really good plot and lots of nice details and very well written. I hope Harry can be set free and is not to upset about leaving his friends, Ron is no great loss and Granger will always follow the Headmaster rather than act in Harry interest she is only really interested in her number of Outstanding grades she gets. I also hope the Black family can reverse the decline and come back to prominence.
I hope the next chapter is soon I can't wait.
Thanks very much
1/20/2010 c1 EverlastingOptimism
A truly enthralling and gripping piece of work. I must commend you both for the storyline and the plot itself.
One problem I have had while reading fanfiction is that the quality of english used to express, a usually extremely interesting story, is woefully inadequate. I must say that your writing is an absolute pleasure to read.
please keep up the good work and know that you have found an avid reader in myself.
regards
ps - how often will you update (approx)
A truly enthralling and gripping piece of work. I must commend you both for the storyline and the plot itself.
One problem I have had while reading fanfiction is that the quality of english used to express, a usually extremely interesting story, is woefully inadequate. I must say that your writing is an absolute pleasure to read.
please keep up the good work and know that you have found an avid reader in myself.
regards
ps - how often will you update (approx)
1/20/2010 c1 Armathas
Looks like it could be a promising start. Didn't notice any typo's or grammatical mistakes (At least glaring. It is early in the morning here!)
Definitely will check out the next update, if for no other reason than to get more of an idea where this is headed.
Peace
Looks like it could be a promising start. Didn't notice any typo's or grammatical mistakes (At least glaring. It is early in the morning here!)
Definitely will check out the next update, if for no other reason than to get more of an idea where this is headed.
Peace