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8/16/2010 c4 Kaijin-san
Slightly uneventful, but a good way to pass the girl's healing process. And the addition of the old couple will also be a good way to pass the time as Mariko's legs heal. I really loved: "(Mariko's) more likely to befriend people made of paper and ink than of flesh and blood." That was a great line! Looking forward to more updates.
8/16/2010 c3 Kaijin-san
Great opening! I loved how you personified the flames, and really nice job with the event in general. Again, the chapter went kind of fast. The biggest problem I found with it was that you brought Mukuro into it. When it comes to post-series HieixOC fanfics, it's really hard to get around Hiei's relationship with Mukuro since fanfictions should mold around the series instead of changing the events. The only way I know how to fix that would be to place the story somewhere before the Three Kings Saga.

Having a KuramaxOC fanfic is easier to write because you've got more freedom with it since the only girl Kurama might've liked, he chose to block from his life to keep her safe. (I'm talking about Maya who was in the manga.)

Anyway, it's interesting, so keep up the good work.
8/16/2010 c2 Kaijin-san
Really nice chapter title, though I think the chapter could've been longer to go better with the title. Again, I liked your narration, and for the most part, everyone's in character. Also, I liked how you found a way to mention Yusuke being stipped of his title - showing that the story takes place post-series. Well, on to the next chapter.
8/16/2010 c1 Kaijin-san
Wow, this is interesting. First off, you did an awesome job with the scenery details and the overall atmosphere! Second, the dialogue was a lot better than before, and there's nothing wrong with having a lot of narrative as opposed to dialogue. In fact, having all that narrative in the first chapter helped get the plot going and made it interesting. I really enjoyed reading this, and will be looking forward to updates (though I'll read the other three chapters first). This is the kind of potential I was talking about when I critiqued your other story. Again, very nice job.

-Kai
8/11/2010 c4 BookWormSara
i'm pretty curious to see how the rest of the story goes
7/8/2010 c4 3Heve-chan
I hate writer's blocks too but I understand how it feels. :)

I'm glad that you managed to update thought. I was wondering what happened with you. Anyway, good comeback! :) I like it when you're describing things from Kurama and Mariko's POV. Very detailed :)
7/5/2010 c4 4ObsidianPhantom
YAY! AN UPDATE!XD. Hiei has the hots and he doesn't even know it...lol. Love the chapter. The stalker comment was hilarious.

Love the slow building tension we can just barely see between Hiei and Mariko...

Hope you update soon!XD
3/8/2010 c3 BeautifulDreamer207
Good job :) Of all the stories I've read so far yours captures the characters the best. Although I wonder if Hiei would really find himself interested in a girl at all... still Hiei's character is great! To me, Kurama is the least convincing. Like I said though, the best I've read so far! The plots good too!
2/13/2010 c3 3Heve-chan
I have to say this chapter is a lot better than the others. (again, just my opinion).

I liked how you described the fire and the actions from Mariko's POV. I'm also interested in why the flames were put on her house. Of course, to kill her... but what's the real reason? And you made me curious about what happened between Mukuro and Hiei.

Okay, you did a great job again. Good luck with the other chapters. ^.^ I can't wait to read more.

Bye!
2/12/2010 c2 Heve-chan
It's an interesting chapter.

I like the way you write. It's good that you didn't make Hiei too OOC here, even if saving a human by his own will is kinda odd, you kept him in his character.

You did a good job.

One thing I have to say that I didn't liked: the action is a bit... rushed, just a bit. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what it seems to me.

Anyway, keep updating. I wanna read more from you.

Good luck. :)
2/6/2010 c4 15Draco MalfoyGirl 16
Wow this is a great story. Please do write more soo. Keep up the great work.
2/1/2010 c4 24MistoffelessTrekyManiac
OMG HIEI OWES SOMEONE!
2/1/2010 c4 cole
Love the new chapter! Awesome story so far!
1/31/2010 c4 33Delu
Oh-ho-ho, Hiei! Very interesting chapter, you're really starting to pull me in. All I really have to say are good things about how well it's written, how the flow is great, and how you're keeping it mostly realistic. Though, I have to mention, Mariko is seeming a little Mary Sue-ish as is the situation. I think if you tweak it a bit, play with it, it'll seem that much more amazing. Can't wait for more.
1/28/2010 c2 1botanbutton
That's dedication, watching tv like that. lol Can't wait for the next chapter, this one was short, but well written. Some people aren't very good at that sometimes so I appreciate your skill. ^_^
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