for One and the Same10/27/2017 c15 Guest
I reviewed, happy?
I reviewed, happy?
10/17/2014 c18 Guest
Awesome. I loved it.
Awesome. I loved it.
9/27/2012 c16 Guest
LOVE IT
LOVE IT
8/30/2012 c18 
5Teraunce
I am not a F****t. Just found this story. sad to see the plot dropped, it was an awesome plot. 6/5 for what there was. Wish i had found it earlier so I could review before droppage.
5TeraunceI am not a F****t. Just found this story. sad to see the plot dropped, it was an awesome plot. 6/5 for what there was. Wish i had found it earlier so I could review before droppage.
8/27/2012 c8 11At Night We Rise
Okay I have to keep reading this! This is my favorite chapter by far! oh my gosh I love this.
Now for some helpful tips. Well, a lot of your words are mispelled. I would suggest going through and correcting those spelling and grammar errors (I would gladly be your beta reader and help)
Also, this isn't a must but it would help the readers connnect with the story, if you would add more detail. Most of all of this is just a bunch of sentences put together to form what most people would use as an outline for the actual story. 90% of a story is usually bull A.K.A fluff. The world loves fluff as long as it helps the story flow. Add things here and there to connect the reader with the past, with thoughts, and with actions by adding small words or hinting towards a bigger meaning. Not a lot of people can see forshadowing but it is appreciated.
Just remember to use more detail. Describe what the person is doing as they talk. If, lets say charizard, is angery you can put "There was a spark of anger (or hate) in her eyes (for more detail put the color of her eyes) as she spoke". It is always good to continously describe what a charcter looks like but the hard part is to not repeat yourself with it. Don't use the same word for the same thing. with the color red you can say like blood or fire, or a rose, whatever fits the mood. Use as much emotion as you can when writting and try to make the reader feel that emotion.
All in all though, This is one of the best stories I've read. You're writing style could use some work but your plot line is amazing and always keeps people interested. The way that every one interacts with each other is brilliant! Good luck in the FanFic world and don't be afraid to ask for help. I can't stress how much detail is important. Awesome story, love :3
11At Night We RiseOkay I have to keep reading this! This is my favorite chapter by far! oh my gosh I love this.
Now for some helpful tips. Well, a lot of your words are mispelled. I would suggest going through and correcting those spelling and grammar errors (I would gladly be your beta reader and help)
Also, this isn't a must but it would help the readers connnect with the story, if you would add more detail. Most of all of this is just a bunch of sentences put together to form what most people would use as an outline for the actual story. 90% of a story is usually bull A.K.A fluff. The world loves fluff as long as it helps the story flow. Add things here and there to connect the reader with the past, with thoughts, and with actions by adding small words or hinting towards a bigger meaning. Not a lot of people can see forshadowing but it is appreciated.
Just remember to use more detail. Describe what the person is doing as they talk. If, lets say charizard, is angery you can put "There was a spark of anger (or hate) in her eyes (for more detail put the color of her eyes) as she spoke". It is always good to continously describe what a charcter looks like but the hard part is to not repeat yourself with it. Don't use the same word for the same thing. with the color red you can say like blood or fire, or a rose, whatever fits the mood. Use as much emotion as you can when writting and try to make the reader feel that emotion.
All in all though, This is one of the best stories I've read. You're writing style could use some work but your plot line is amazing and always keeps people interested. The way that every one interacts with each other is brilliant! Good luck in the FanFic world and don't be afraid to ask for help. I can't stress how much detail is important. Awesome story, love :3
8/19/2012 c17 Guest
good story
good story
4/29/2011 c17 Tanon
The story and plot was sound, but execution was not as good. Your grammar at times distracted from the story (even little things like "I'm fighting for my kinds(kind's) rights") eventually become annoying, and you had me confused for the 4 chapters around chapter 12. Then the master turns out to be a good guy, even though you had given me the impression that he was the complete opposite.
The story was just enjoyable, so it gets a 5/10. For stories I don't enjoy, they get less than 5, and those I do enjoy can only get more than 5... this one was borderline.
Still, a good effort. you have potential!
The story and plot was sound, but execution was not as good. Your grammar at times distracted from the story (even little things like "I'm fighting for my kinds(kind's) rights") eventually become annoying, and you had me confused for the 4 chapters around chapter 12. Then the master turns out to be a good guy, even though you had given me the impression that he was the complete opposite.
The story was just enjoyable, so it gets a 5/10. For stories I don't enjoy, they get less than 5, and those I do enjoy can only get more than 5... this one was borderline.
Still, a good effort. you have potential!
11/1/2010 c17 easia51
hey there,
I´m not logged in at the moment... but I just had to review this!
I have been reading the whole evening now and finally finished the story and hell... It is a good one!
I am defently going to read the next one too but not today (Living in Belgium so it´s late here)
I do have one question. Everyone came out the egg as starter and then evoluted except milotic. Is this because she is created or something... anyway I liked this fic.
keep going and thank you for my nice evening,
sighing out,
Easia51
hey there,
I´m not logged in at the moment... but I just had to review this!
I have been reading the whole evening now and finally finished the story and hell... It is a good one!
I am defently going to read the next one too but not today (Living in Belgium so it´s late here)
I do have one question. Everyone came out the egg as starter and then evoluted except milotic. Is this because she is created or something... anyway I liked this fic.
keep going and thank you for my nice evening,
sighing out,
Easia51
10/20/2010 c17 2NobleBoss
Sorry i didnt review the other chapters but i love your writing. i can imagine everything with just your words and its amazing. Your descriptiveness and originallity kicks asz. and with that im off to read your sequel!
2NobleBossSorry i didnt review the other chapters but i love your writing. i can imagine everything with just your words and its amazing. Your descriptiveness and originallity kicks asz. and with that im off to read your sequel!
7/1/2010 c17 3Descriptivist
Over 700? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT! Ugh. Really, readers can't understand how writers feel without reviews.
"Now it was just Milotic and I."
Milotic and ME.
"When do you think your gonna leave?"
You're.
~ OATS, away! ~
Good luck with Answers. MORE CHARACTERS! YAY!
3DescriptivistOver 700? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT! Ugh. Really, readers can't understand how writers feel without reviews.
"Now it was just Milotic and I."
Milotic and ME.
"When do you think your gonna leave?"
You're.
~ OATS, away! ~
Good luck with Answers. MORE CHARACTERS! YAY!
7/1/2010 c16 Descriptivist
You put a lot of feeling into this. Congratulations on finishing it! Now I can't wait for OatS: Answers. (One and the Same! OATS!)
Two things that bother me:
Milotic skipped the Feebas stage altogether when she hatched.
"Lugia was animated, she wanted to live in a family."
That should be a semicolon.
You put a lot of feeling into this. Congratulations on finishing it! Now I can't wait for OatS: Answers. (One and the Same! OATS!)
Two things that bother me:
Milotic skipped the Feebas stage altogether when she hatched.
"Lugia was animated, she wanted to live in a family."
That should be a semicolon.
7/1/2010 c17 Guest
WOW that must of taken ages 2 rite and its awsome! thanks for a great story to fill in my spare time. my fave bit: the ending where every one was grown up. least fave: teddiersa dieing
cant wait 2 read one and the same answers!
WOW that must of taken ages 2 rite and its awsome! thanks for a great story to fill in my spare time. my fave bit: the ending where every one was grown up. least fave: teddiersa dieing
cant wait 2 read one and the same answers!