for Bleached Vampire8/16/2010 c14 
3Grinja
So it appears Uryu and Kurumu will get a little closer once her heartbreak wears off. Tsukune's scene with Inner Moka was great.
3GrinjaSo it appears Uryu and Kurumu will get a little closer once her heartbreak wears off. Tsukune's scene with Inner Moka was great.
8/16/2010 c14 1Yvori Gevura
Ja man welcome back and thanks for updating you chapters it veri good and clean (at least for me) and it`s getting to the good parts (i love the fights but more the drama and love of those character hahaha) well see ya later in the next chapter see ya later man you rock!
1Yvori GevuraJa man welcome back and thanks for updating you chapters it veri good and clean (at least for me) and it`s getting to the good parts (i love the fights but more the drama and love of those character hahaha) well see ya later in the next chapter see ya later man you rock!
8/16/2010 c14 Multifan
I think the Yokai school is going to come to understand the phrase “the calm before the storm” before this story is over.
Looks like Inner Moka has another thing in common with Yoruichi – they both like to mess with Ichigo.
Scowling more than usual? Either he’s itching for a fight, he's pissed off with Inner Moka, or he suspects Kon’s up to something.
His father, Kon, Rangiku, Yoruichi… you forgot Keigo and Chizuru. If they were there, I bet Keigo would be on his knees, worshiping Tsukune and addressing him as sempai while asking for advice on how to get a girlfriend. As for Chizuru, she’d go after Moka and Kurumu like they do with Tsukune. That would be poetic justice of a sort – now they know how Tsukune feels at times.
I bet Ichigo felt he just dodged a huge bullet and not get trapped in the same situation as Tsukune.
Based on his description, I think Ichigo would definitely group Kurumu with Rangiku and Yoruichi. Inner Moka - maybe.
Correction – if Ichigo tried anything with Rukia, he’d have to worry about Byakuya and Renji after his hide, in addition to Kenpachi.
Oh, yeah. He’s being set up. Have to wonder if Moka’s going to get help from the other girls minus Rukia. I think Rukia wouldn’t know what to do in this situation any more than Ichigo would. If this were Bleach only, I don’t think there’d be too much to worry about. But since it’s a crossover with Rosario + Vampire, and considering the girls, Moka’s plan is going to turn into a circus.
So Silent Stalker shows up. You know, the title of this chapter could also have applied to Tatsuo. He’d stalk Moka while gathering intel on the Karakura gang for Kuyou.
Here’s hoping Ichigo soon starts training Tsukune how to draw on his power without becoming a ghoul.
I’d suggest that Tsukune exercise discretion in regards to Moka’s and Kurumu’s argument, but it’s way too late for him.
I bet Tsukune was glad for the distraction, but I’m certain he would have preferred Uryu to Silent Stalker.
Looks like the Karakura group is going to give the Yokai group another lesson in Hollows next time.
If Silent Stalker were to tell his superiors about Uryu, they’d know who else was involved and why their raids haven’t been working. That might be enough for them to spare his life.
Tsukune inadvertently broke Kurumu’s heart. If a woman’s scorn is bad, what about a succubus’.
Smart idea releasing Inner Moka, but she needs to stop being so prideful all the time.
I think Tsukune just scored some major points with both Mokas.
If the students were to see Uryu carrying Kurumu bridal style, the boys would be envious and the girls would be jealous. The same thing would happen to Tsukune if he were carrying Moka bridal style as well.
Well, Rukia just made certain the Privarions remain ignorant of the Karakura gang’s presence at Yokai Academy.
Looks like Chappy found a new source of mischief.
I bet next time Rukia’s going to find out what happened earlier in this story.
I don’t know if you’re planning on a Chad/Mizore relationship, but if you are, maybe you should have Mizore start learning Spanish. At first, it would be so she could understand what Chad says whenever he chants and transforms his arms. Later, it might help build something between them.
I also saw the first two Bleach movies this past weekend. The first was a little funnier because of the antics of that girl who had shinigami powers and because of how Ichigo’s dad and Yuzu reacted to Ichigo having that girl in his room. If they’re like that, I don’t want to think how they would react if Ichigo were to find himself in Tsukune’s place with the Yokai girls. Also, I laughed whenever I saw Kenpachi ruah forward to fight in both movies. Don’t think if Moka/Inner Moka would like him, but I know Kokoa would.
I think the Yokai school is going to come to understand the phrase “the calm before the storm” before this story is over.
Looks like Inner Moka has another thing in common with Yoruichi – they both like to mess with Ichigo.
Scowling more than usual? Either he’s itching for a fight, he's pissed off with Inner Moka, or he suspects Kon’s up to something.
His father, Kon, Rangiku, Yoruichi… you forgot Keigo and Chizuru. If they were there, I bet Keigo would be on his knees, worshiping Tsukune and addressing him as sempai while asking for advice on how to get a girlfriend. As for Chizuru, she’d go after Moka and Kurumu like they do with Tsukune. That would be poetic justice of a sort – now they know how Tsukune feels at times.
I bet Ichigo felt he just dodged a huge bullet and not get trapped in the same situation as Tsukune.
Based on his description, I think Ichigo would definitely group Kurumu with Rangiku and Yoruichi. Inner Moka - maybe.
Correction – if Ichigo tried anything with Rukia, he’d have to worry about Byakuya and Renji after his hide, in addition to Kenpachi.
Oh, yeah. He’s being set up. Have to wonder if Moka’s going to get help from the other girls minus Rukia. I think Rukia wouldn’t know what to do in this situation any more than Ichigo would. If this were Bleach only, I don’t think there’d be too much to worry about. But since it’s a crossover with Rosario + Vampire, and considering the girls, Moka’s plan is going to turn into a circus.
So Silent Stalker shows up. You know, the title of this chapter could also have applied to Tatsuo. He’d stalk Moka while gathering intel on the Karakura gang for Kuyou.
Here’s hoping Ichigo soon starts training Tsukune how to draw on his power without becoming a ghoul.
I’d suggest that Tsukune exercise discretion in regards to Moka’s and Kurumu’s argument, but it’s way too late for him.
I bet Tsukune was glad for the distraction, but I’m certain he would have preferred Uryu to Silent Stalker.
Looks like the Karakura group is going to give the Yokai group another lesson in Hollows next time.
If Silent Stalker were to tell his superiors about Uryu, they’d know who else was involved and why their raids haven’t been working. That might be enough for them to spare his life.
Tsukune inadvertently broke Kurumu’s heart. If a woman’s scorn is bad, what about a succubus’.
Smart idea releasing Inner Moka, but she needs to stop being so prideful all the time.
I think Tsukune just scored some major points with both Mokas.
If the students were to see Uryu carrying Kurumu bridal style, the boys would be envious and the girls would be jealous. The same thing would happen to Tsukune if he were carrying Moka bridal style as well.
Well, Rukia just made certain the Privarions remain ignorant of the Karakura gang’s presence at Yokai Academy.
Looks like Chappy found a new source of mischief.
I bet next time Rukia’s going to find out what happened earlier in this story.
I don’t know if you’re planning on a Chad/Mizore relationship, but if you are, maybe you should have Mizore start learning Spanish. At first, it would be so she could understand what Chad says whenever he chants and transforms his arms. Later, it might help build something between them.
I also saw the first two Bleach movies this past weekend. The first was a little funnier because of the antics of that girl who had shinigami powers and because of how Ichigo’s dad and Yuzu reacted to Ichigo having that girl in his room. If they’re like that, I don’t want to think how they would react if Ichigo were to find himself in Tsukune’s place with the Yokai girls. Also, I laughed whenever I saw Kenpachi ruah forward to fight in both movies. Don’t think if Moka/Inner Moka would like him, but I know Kokoa would.
8/16/2010 c14 Ultimate-Zelda-fan
So you're going for a Uryu/Kurumu pairing eh? Guess that means you're doing a Chad/Mizore pairing as well. And then of course there are the obvious pairings of Ichigo/Orihime and Tsukune/Moka.
Poor Kurumu...a broken heart is never an easy thing to bear.:(
So you're going for a Uryu/Kurumu pairing eh? Guess that means you're doing a Chad/Mizore pairing as well. And then of course there are the obvious pairings of Ichigo/Orihime and Tsukune/Moka.
Poor Kurumu...a broken heart is never an easy thing to bear.:(
8/11/2010 c13 2Mysticbreez
Awesome story, awesome concept and you seem to actually have a good grasp on the characters' personalities, unlike some other authors I've seen. The only vice is that you tend to not use enough commas; there appears to be... well not a lot of run-on sentences, but more than usual compared to others. Maybe a beta reader might work, or, I've found that when re-reading your story again after a day, two days, a week, maybe even a month, you find a lot of errors you wouldn't have found otherwise, so that's also a suggestion ^^
2MysticbreezAwesome story, awesome concept and you seem to actually have a good grasp on the characters' personalities, unlike some other authors I've seen. The only vice is that you tend to not use enough commas; there appears to be... well not a lot of run-on sentences, but more than usual compared to others. Maybe a beta reader might work, or, I've found that when re-reading your story again after a day, two days, a week, maybe even a month, you find a lot of errors you wouldn't have found otherwise, so that's also a suggestion ^^
8/4/2010 c13 H-PockySticks
Not bad, thank you for the update, please update soon (like now _;).
So far, your doing good with the current rating. IMO, don't have to change the current rating, some light hearted innuendos would not be bad, also try not to over do the fanservice that the R.V. TV series gives and a little less in the cursing. Being mad, frustrated or describing that they are cursing can still go along way in describing a character's frustration.
Not bad, thank you for the update, please update soon (like now _;).
So far, your doing good with the current rating. IMO, don't have to change the current rating, some light hearted innuendos would not be bad, also try not to over do the fanservice that the R.V. TV series gives and a little less in the cursing. Being mad, frustrated or describing that they are cursing can still go along way in describing a character's frustration.
8/2/2010 c13 mlkoolc86
This was good, I liked it. Don't have much else to other than that. Look forward to the next one! Oh yea if you want to make it M rated I say go ahead if you the story my take a turn that way.
This was good, I liked it. Don't have much else to other than that. Look forward to the next one! Oh yea if you want to make it M rated I say go ahead if you the story my take a turn that way.
8/1/2010 c13 4Warhaler
First of iv'e been waiting etirnity for this chapter and im glad u keep on making them better. secound i don't realy care about the rating but the highter the better in my opinnion.
P.S. i think you might of had this idea in mind but when ichigo puts his mask on moca could actualy call it cute since she has weard tastes and get into an akward silence or somethin u figure it out . Great chapter btw
4WarhalerFirst of iv'e been waiting etirnity for this chapter and im glad u keep on making them better. secound i don't realy care about the rating but the highter the better in my opinnion.
P.S. i think you might of had this idea in mind but when ichigo puts his mask on moca could actualy call it cute since she has weard tastes and get into an akward silence or somethin u figure it out . Great chapter btw
8/1/2010 c13 3Grinja
You should rate it however you want to write the story. Just let it flow and it will all come to you.
Inner Moka must be seething that she can't beat Ichigo and doesn't stand a chance. I love it.
3GrinjaYou should rate it however you want to write the story. Just let it flow and it will all come to you.
Inner Moka must be seething that she can't beat Ichigo and doesn't stand a chance. I love it.
8/1/2010 c13 13Unseen Watcher
I like the relaxed feel of this fic. If it's M, I hesitate to think what action(s) you'll be taking to make it such. Good chapter. Here's to taking aristocrats down a peg or ten.
13Unseen WatcherI like the relaxed feel of this fic. If it's M, I hesitate to think what action(s) you'll be taking to make it such. Good chapter. Here's to taking aristocrats down a peg or ten.
7/31/2010 c13 Multifan
First off, let me clear up two things from last time. As for the possibility of Uryu teaching Yukari his magic, I hear what you’re saying about that not happening. Uryu and his predecessors guarded their skills like the Hyugas and Uchihas guarded their respective eyes, so as to speak. Second, in regards to Outer/Inner Moka, you’re saying the following: both are aware of the existence of the other. While Outer Moka doesn’t know what Inner Moka knows or what Inner Moka does, Inner Moka is aware of everything when she awake. And when she wakes up, she gleans over Outer Moka’s memories to get a quick recap of what happened while she slept. Am I right?
Rumors fly as much as Kuo does, though this should help keep the more curious of the students from nosing around and getting involved.
Going out in pairs is a good thing, as the Yokai gang would gain experience, and a member of the Karakura group would be there in case things got too intense.
You know what they say about paranoia – just because you believe someone’s after you or something’s going to happen, it doesn’t mean it’s not true.
If Captain Kurotsuchi were to show up, I think everyone at the school, even Inner Moka and Kuyou, would find him beyond creepy. I bet they’re familiar with Dr. Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Under the circumstances, they would probably associate Kurotsuchi with them.
So you are having the two groups mix and match during their training for the most part. That’ll insure that the Yokai group would get a well-rounded education. Kokoa and Moka appear to be the exceptions. Maybe Kokoa should spar with Rukia, since given the difference in power between Rukia and Ichigo Kokoa might fare better against Rukia.
Kurumu’s right about Uryu knowing the outcome already. Despite the myriad of stories and myths about vampires in the human world, Kokoa and Moka could probably accept one fact – humans know that vampires are very powerful monsters. Uryu would most likely know that; however, experience had shown him that Moka doesn’t hold a candle to some Hollows he had encountered.
If they were told the whole story about Ichigo, Aizen, and etc., I think even Inner Moka would understand why Ichigo chooses to face her with one arm and leg tied behind his back while holding back on his blows, so as to speak.
So it’s Ichigo’s attitude that’s making Inner Moka seethe and not his power. That’s something she shares with Kokoa.
So, how does Inner Moka’s aura compare to the more power Hollows? I figured her power just might fall short of a Gillian. Don’t know if she would win, but she’d definitely give the Gillian a hell of a fight.
Ask, Inner Moka, and you shall receive. And boy did Ichigo give it to her. I think she finally got a glimpse as to how powerful Ichigo and the higher-level Hollows were. But I think her perceptions will be shattered should she see Ichigo with the Hollow Mask on.
I have to wonder if any of the other students back at the school felt Ichigo’s power.
The way the sparring session ended between Ichigo, Rukia, and Inner Moka – LOL. That had the Bleach style written all over it. I bet even Inner Moka was grinning when Rukia kicked Ichigo’s shin.
You left us hanging with Tatsuo. I think we can disregard all the monsters that had appeared in the anime and the manga. Now what does that leave us with?
Is it me, or does Septima Vizroy seem a little like Mystique in that both are willing to go against their superior’s orders in order to gain more power or to pursue their own agendas?
As for leaving it T or making it M, that depends. If in the coming chapters we’re going to be something along the lines of what Jean, Rogue, and Kurt went through in Hellfire and Brimstone, then yes, make it M. If you plan on having Kon taking pictures of the girls while they’re taking showers or baths, then M. Otherwise, it’s up to you.
I’ve been meaning to ask this question. You’re setting this to occur after the Winter War. I’m going to assume that Bleach will end when the Winter War ends. Now Bleach and the Winter War are still going on in the anime and the manga. Are you planning to continue with your own storyboard, or do you plan to go back and make any edits in order to maintain consistency with established canon. For example, you wrote that Gin Ichimaru is MIA and presumably still alive. Now if in a future manga we see Ichigo kill Gin, do you plan on removing that line from the story?
First off, let me clear up two things from last time. As for the possibility of Uryu teaching Yukari his magic, I hear what you’re saying about that not happening. Uryu and his predecessors guarded their skills like the Hyugas and Uchihas guarded their respective eyes, so as to speak. Second, in regards to Outer/Inner Moka, you’re saying the following: both are aware of the existence of the other. While Outer Moka doesn’t know what Inner Moka knows or what Inner Moka does, Inner Moka is aware of everything when she awake. And when she wakes up, she gleans over Outer Moka’s memories to get a quick recap of what happened while she slept. Am I right?
Rumors fly as much as Kuo does, though this should help keep the more curious of the students from nosing around and getting involved.
Going out in pairs is a good thing, as the Yokai gang would gain experience, and a member of the Karakura group would be there in case things got too intense.
You know what they say about paranoia – just because you believe someone’s after you or something’s going to happen, it doesn’t mean it’s not true.
If Captain Kurotsuchi were to show up, I think everyone at the school, even Inner Moka and Kuyou, would find him beyond creepy. I bet they’re familiar with Dr. Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Under the circumstances, they would probably associate Kurotsuchi with them.
So you are having the two groups mix and match during their training for the most part. That’ll insure that the Yokai group would get a well-rounded education. Kokoa and Moka appear to be the exceptions. Maybe Kokoa should spar with Rukia, since given the difference in power between Rukia and Ichigo Kokoa might fare better against Rukia.
Kurumu’s right about Uryu knowing the outcome already. Despite the myriad of stories and myths about vampires in the human world, Kokoa and Moka could probably accept one fact – humans know that vampires are very powerful monsters. Uryu would most likely know that; however, experience had shown him that Moka doesn’t hold a candle to some Hollows he had encountered.
If they were told the whole story about Ichigo, Aizen, and etc., I think even Inner Moka would understand why Ichigo chooses to face her with one arm and leg tied behind his back while holding back on his blows, so as to speak.
So it’s Ichigo’s attitude that’s making Inner Moka seethe and not his power. That’s something she shares with Kokoa.
So, how does Inner Moka’s aura compare to the more power Hollows? I figured her power just might fall short of a Gillian. Don’t know if she would win, but she’d definitely give the Gillian a hell of a fight.
Ask, Inner Moka, and you shall receive. And boy did Ichigo give it to her. I think she finally got a glimpse as to how powerful Ichigo and the higher-level Hollows were. But I think her perceptions will be shattered should she see Ichigo with the Hollow Mask on.
I have to wonder if any of the other students back at the school felt Ichigo’s power.
The way the sparring session ended between Ichigo, Rukia, and Inner Moka – LOL. That had the Bleach style written all over it. I bet even Inner Moka was grinning when Rukia kicked Ichigo’s shin.
You left us hanging with Tatsuo. I think we can disregard all the monsters that had appeared in the anime and the manga. Now what does that leave us with?
Is it me, or does Septima Vizroy seem a little like Mystique in that both are willing to go against their superior’s orders in order to gain more power or to pursue their own agendas?
As for leaving it T or making it M, that depends. If in the coming chapters we’re going to be something along the lines of what Jean, Rogue, and Kurt went through in Hellfire and Brimstone, then yes, make it M. If you plan on having Kon taking pictures of the girls while they’re taking showers or baths, then M. Otherwise, it’s up to you.
I’ve been meaning to ask this question. You’re setting this to occur after the Winter War. I’m going to assume that Bleach will end when the Winter War ends. Now Bleach and the Winter War are still going on in the anime and the manga. Are you planning to continue with your own storyboard, or do you plan to go back and make any edits in order to maintain consistency with established canon. For example, you wrote that Gin Ichimaru is MIA and presumably still alive. Now if in a future manga we see Ichigo kill Gin, do you plan on removing that line from the story?
7/31/2010 c13 3An Average Writer
After reading all this I can definitely say that this is a good story, which is a very difficult task even at the best of times for a crossover story, especially for one with such different worlds like Bleach and Rosario + Vampire. But you've managed to link them both together very nicely and with far more plausibility then most other Bleach and Rosario + Vampire stories out there.
Making Sajin Komamura a yokai was a nice touch (incidentally explaining why he's a humanoid wolf in the first place) and sets the scene for everything else in this story. Not only that, your writing style is definitely one of the main things that keeps me coming back. Grammar and punctuation are done well and you don't rush things, always carefully writing out everything in considerable detail. You've managed to keep everyone in character very well (a hard task between crossover stories as you need to imagine the different interactions between, potentially, radically characters and keep it all believable) and it seems that you have a very interesting plot coming along.
Now then here are some of my suggestions. You don't have to pay attention to them but all that same I'm just putting them here for what I think might help:
Firstly, I think it would be best if you don't give Tsukune shinigami powers. The reason for that is because, in my opinion, virtually every Bleach and Rosario + Vampire crossover has that happening at some point and, more importantly, it is quite simply not possible. A common misconception on gaining shinigami powers is that you simply have to stab the person gaining shinigami powers through the chest with a Zanpakutō and channel some Reiryoku into them. In all actuality when this happens there is a low chance of this working and even if it does work, the powers gained are only temporary. The only reason Ichigo became a full fledged shinigami was because of his innate Reiryoku (possibly because of his father being an, albeit former, shinigami) which allowed him to take almost all of Rukia’s power. However all of these shinigami powers were removed when he was defeated by Byakuya. Ichigo’s shinigami powers were restored after he underwent the shattered shaft training and unlocked his own latent spiritual powers. All this means that Tsukune cannot become a shinigami (unless you just decide to leave it as a convenient plot device).
Secondly, you may want to put in some of the story plots from Rosario + Vampire II into your story, mainly how Moka is a “Shinso” as well as her past alongside her mother, her remaining sisters, Fairy Tale, the three great dark lords and Alucard. I know this will probably make writing the story very complicated (especially with the current Arrancar plot going on) but all the same it would be very interesting to see this rather then leaving Moka, Tsukune and the others as normal main characters with all their (canon) adventures finished and I honestly believe that you have the capabilities of blending both Bleach and Rosario + Vampire together, harmoniously.
Finally, on the subject on the deceased Espada, while most of them are confirmed as dead in your story. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez is still alive in Bleach (though this has probably been pointed out to you a few times) and perhaps you can slip him in as a surprise character. With Aizen’s fall and the Privarion Espada taking over, most likely you could say that he had gone renegade with only the goal of defeating Ichigo on his mind. The same thing goes for Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck who is also alive, whether she is in her child form or adult form depends on you, that is, if you do actually put her into the story.
Overall that’s pretty much everything I have to say, I can only guess what might happen next but I can believe with complete assurance that you have some amazing chapters to put up.
Hope you read this and until next time.
3An Average WriterAfter reading all this I can definitely say that this is a good story, which is a very difficult task even at the best of times for a crossover story, especially for one with such different worlds like Bleach and Rosario + Vampire. But you've managed to link them both together very nicely and with far more plausibility then most other Bleach and Rosario + Vampire stories out there.
Making Sajin Komamura a yokai was a nice touch (incidentally explaining why he's a humanoid wolf in the first place) and sets the scene for everything else in this story. Not only that, your writing style is definitely one of the main things that keeps me coming back. Grammar and punctuation are done well and you don't rush things, always carefully writing out everything in considerable detail. You've managed to keep everyone in character very well (a hard task between crossover stories as you need to imagine the different interactions between, potentially, radically characters and keep it all believable) and it seems that you have a very interesting plot coming along.
Now then here are some of my suggestions. You don't have to pay attention to them but all that same I'm just putting them here for what I think might help:
Firstly, I think it would be best if you don't give Tsukune shinigami powers. The reason for that is because, in my opinion, virtually every Bleach and Rosario + Vampire crossover has that happening at some point and, more importantly, it is quite simply not possible. A common misconception on gaining shinigami powers is that you simply have to stab the person gaining shinigami powers through the chest with a Zanpakutō and channel some Reiryoku into them. In all actuality when this happens there is a low chance of this working and even if it does work, the powers gained are only temporary. The only reason Ichigo became a full fledged shinigami was because of his innate Reiryoku (possibly because of his father being an, albeit former, shinigami) which allowed him to take almost all of Rukia’s power. However all of these shinigami powers were removed when he was defeated by Byakuya. Ichigo’s shinigami powers were restored after he underwent the shattered shaft training and unlocked his own latent spiritual powers. All this means that Tsukune cannot become a shinigami (unless you just decide to leave it as a convenient plot device).
Secondly, you may want to put in some of the story plots from Rosario + Vampire II into your story, mainly how Moka is a “Shinso” as well as her past alongside her mother, her remaining sisters, Fairy Tale, the three great dark lords and Alucard. I know this will probably make writing the story very complicated (especially with the current Arrancar plot going on) but all the same it would be very interesting to see this rather then leaving Moka, Tsukune and the others as normal main characters with all their (canon) adventures finished and I honestly believe that you have the capabilities of blending both Bleach and Rosario + Vampire together, harmoniously.
Finally, on the subject on the deceased Espada, while most of them are confirmed as dead in your story. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez is still alive in Bleach (though this has probably been pointed out to you a few times) and perhaps you can slip him in as a surprise character. With Aizen’s fall and the Privarion Espada taking over, most likely you could say that he had gone renegade with only the goal of defeating Ichigo on his mind. The same thing goes for Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck who is also alive, whether she is in her child form or adult form depends on you, that is, if you do actually put her into the story.
Overall that’s pretty much everything I have to say, I can only guess what might happen next but I can believe with complete assurance that you have some amazing chapters to put up.
Hope you read this and until next time.
7/31/2010 c13 1Yvori Gevura
jajajajaja hi there dude long time no see but a good chapter nontless well and it`s long enought for me but first of all i amused tht you could write this i was thinking that you needed more time to sort out oyur problems but well you rock i hope the update soon and see ya later.
oo and good fight between ichigo and Moka it`s just to similar to byakuya fight (tight ass aristocrat) but see her out of breath look right and i see that Uryuu it`s the one making the funny comments whit kurumu aa well let`s jope a little romance in the next chap but it`s up to you after all it`s your fic and is a good one keep it that way jajaja well goodbye for now
1Yvori Gevurajajajajaja hi there dude long time no see but a good chapter nontless well and it`s long enought for me but first of all i amused tht you could write this i was thinking that you needed more time to sort out oyur problems but well you rock i hope the update soon and see ya later.
oo and good fight between ichigo and Moka it`s just to similar to byakuya fight (tight ass aristocrat) but see her out of breath look right and i see that Uryuu it`s the one making the funny comments whit kurumu aa well let`s jope a little romance in the next chap but it`s up to you after all it`s your fic and is a good one keep it that way jajaja well goodbye for now