for Bleached Vampire6/21/2010 c12 Multifan
This is a surprise. I thought you wouldn't be able to make any more posts until your two-month stint was finished. Work on the stories when you have the chance, but not enough to make a post.
Two things I forgot to add in past posts. First, since Rukia plans on teaching Yukari and Ruby kido, what about Uryu teaching them his magic – ginto. It might not have as many spells, but at the same time, considering how it's part and parcel of his heritage...
Second, next time Inner Moka comes out, maybe you should have her compliment Rukia over her hitting Ginei with a red shot.
Orihime just confessed her love, and Ichigo says he can't say the same? If it had been anyone else, Ichigo would be on the ground having suffered a kick to his jewels.
Oh, so it was a dream. Good for Ichigo. That means he won’t be punished for his poor response. But it was bad for Orihime. I think the Yokai girls sans Kokoa have similar nightmares about Tsukune when he took Kuyou's flaming arrow or spear to the heart.
Orihime needs to learn to talk to others. It would be the first step in dealing with her nightmares. I think once the Karakura gang learns of the events that led to Tsukune becoming a ghoul, Orihime’s healing might begin.
Here’s hoping the Karakura gang soon tells the Yokai group about the Winter War and the events leading up to it. If Inner Moka doesn’t see why Ichigo shrugged her off like he did after learning the details, I don’t know what will. To Ichigo, Inner Moka’s tame compared to what he had faced.
I’m reminded of how all the students were looking when Moka was leading Tsukune arm-in-arm during the first episode of the series. Envy and jealousy abound big time.
You described Orihime correctly. She has pink Moka’s personality and a blending of Moka’s and Kurumu’s figures.
So you brought in a new character –Tatsuko Ikari.
Great, now Orihime has another stalker. Strangely enough, I think Tsukune might be able to comfort her a little, since Mizore stalks him all the time.
Tatsuko’s friends were smart enough not to get involved.
Nice try on Orihime’s part on saying no to Tatsuo in a nice way, but boy did that backfire on her.
I think Tatsuko gave Ichigo an unexpected favor – a chance to establish an old reputation in a new school.
For once, Uryu’s playing the peacekeeper.
I wonder if Uryu’s going to regret offering to tutor Kurumu because I have to wonder how Kurumu’s going to “repay” him.
Oh, great. The Gestapo returns. They should have remained disappeared like they had in the second season. I was wondering what school troubles you were talking about. I was expecting the single-episode kind of trouble we see during the series. Tatsuko would have fit the bill, but you went the extra mile.
I guess that’s one way to stop a fight – have another fight catch everyone’s attention.
I think Ichigo is going to gain another reputation – the only one in school who faced off against the Student Police and Inner Moka, and not flinch.
It’s almost certain that the Karakura gang and the Newspaper Club are going to go up against the Student Police and Tatsuko. But considering the looming danger posed by the Hollows, I have to wonder when?
I’ve finished with the Soul Society arc. I’m considering taking your advice about the Bounty Hunter arc, but sometimes these side-stories are quite beneficial. Consider some of the RPG games. By doing the sidequests, not only do your characters gain more experience, but they might get special gear and end up being better prepared for the next part of the main story.
I'm definitely eager to see how you handle Ichigo training Moka. Maybe you should have them do some challenges just so Inner Moka truly sees that he might be more than even her father could handle.
This is a surprise. I thought you wouldn't be able to make any more posts until your two-month stint was finished. Work on the stories when you have the chance, but not enough to make a post.
Two things I forgot to add in past posts. First, since Rukia plans on teaching Yukari and Ruby kido, what about Uryu teaching them his magic – ginto. It might not have as many spells, but at the same time, considering how it's part and parcel of his heritage...
Second, next time Inner Moka comes out, maybe you should have her compliment Rukia over her hitting Ginei with a red shot.
Orihime just confessed her love, and Ichigo says he can't say the same? If it had been anyone else, Ichigo would be on the ground having suffered a kick to his jewels.
Oh, so it was a dream. Good for Ichigo. That means he won’t be punished for his poor response. But it was bad for Orihime. I think the Yokai girls sans Kokoa have similar nightmares about Tsukune when he took Kuyou's flaming arrow or spear to the heart.
Orihime needs to learn to talk to others. It would be the first step in dealing with her nightmares. I think once the Karakura gang learns of the events that led to Tsukune becoming a ghoul, Orihime’s healing might begin.
Here’s hoping the Karakura gang soon tells the Yokai group about the Winter War and the events leading up to it. If Inner Moka doesn’t see why Ichigo shrugged her off like he did after learning the details, I don’t know what will. To Ichigo, Inner Moka’s tame compared to what he had faced.
I’m reminded of how all the students were looking when Moka was leading Tsukune arm-in-arm during the first episode of the series. Envy and jealousy abound big time.
You described Orihime correctly. She has pink Moka’s personality and a blending of Moka’s and Kurumu’s figures.
So you brought in a new character –Tatsuko Ikari.
Great, now Orihime has another stalker. Strangely enough, I think Tsukune might be able to comfort her a little, since Mizore stalks him all the time.
Tatsuko’s friends were smart enough not to get involved.
Nice try on Orihime’s part on saying no to Tatsuo in a nice way, but boy did that backfire on her.
I think Tatsuko gave Ichigo an unexpected favor – a chance to establish an old reputation in a new school.
For once, Uryu’s playing the peacekeeper.
I wonder if Uryu’s going to regret offering to tutor Kurumu because I have to wonder how Kurumu’s going to “repay” him.
Oh, great. The Gestapo returns. They should have remained disappeared like they had in the second season. I was wondering what school troubles you were talking about. I was expecting the single-episode kind of trouble we see during the series. Tatsuko would have fit the bill, but you went the extra mile.
I guess that’s one way to stop a fight – have another fight catch everyone’s attention.
I think Ichigo is going to gain another reputation – the only one in school who faced off against the Student Police and Inner Moka, and not flinch.
It’s almost certain that the Karakura gang and the Newspaper Club are going to go up against the Student Police and Tatsuko. But considering the looming danger posed by the Hollows, I have to wonder when?
I’ve finished with the Soul Society arc. I’m considering taking your advice about the Bounty Hunter arc, but sometimes these side-stories are quite beneficial. Consider some of the RPG games. By doing the sidequests, not only do your characters gain more experience, but they might get special gear and end up being better prepared for the next part of the main story.
I'm definitely eager to see how you handle Ichigo training Moka. Maybe you should have them do some challenges just so Inner Moka truly sees that he might be more than even her father could handle.
6/21/2010 c12 
1Yvori Gevura
Hi there dude great chapter and yes a bit of it was hard to get (jajaja) but a good work no less and let`s hope to read soon the next chapter (y want to see the first real romantic situation between Uryuu and kurumu i been a little bit XD) well stay cool and be cool you rock like this fic see ya later take care of yourself
1Yvori GevuraHi there dude great chapter and yes a bit of it was hard to get (jajaja) but a good work no less and let`s hope to read soon the next chapter (y want to see the first real romantic situation between Uryuu and kurumu i been a little bit XD) well stay cool and be cool you rock like this fic see ya later take care of yourself
6/21/2010 c12 17Silver Warrior
oh, someone trying to take Ichigo down? He probably could have taken that punk BEFORE he got his shinigami powers.
17Silver Warrioroh, someone trying to take Ichigo down? He probably could have taken that punk BEFORE he got his shinigami powers.
6/21/2010 c12 1cooking samurai
I feel sorry for the Student Police they have not much longer to live.
1cooking samuraiI feel sorry for the Student Police they have not much longer to live.
6/21/2010 c12 8Double-DecaKiva-DenBlades
i feel bad for student police that they will face ichigo and gang...
bankai ichigo would one hit kill all of those idiots...
oh and uryuu's ginrei kujaku will has same outcome...
8Double-DecaKiva-DenBladesi feel bad for student police that they will face ichigo and gang...
bankai ichigo would one hit kill all of those idiots...
oh and uryuu's ginrei kujaku will has same outcome...
6/21/2010 c12 5Extra Gone
That Ulquiorra dream wasn't something I expected, but it was a good job of showing how much Ichigo means to Orihime. The new guy seems to be the new main villain of the new arc with the way he tried to get it on with Orihime, and you did a good job building up suspense over what the Student Police are gonna do next.
5Extra GoneThat Ulquiorra dream wasn't something I expected, but it was a good job of showing how much Ichigo means to Orihime. The new guy seems to be the new main villain of the new arc with the way he tried to get it on with Orihime, and you did a good job building up suspense over what the Student Police are gonna do next.
6/16/2010 c11 22zackayu
I really love your story... and when I say I love your story means I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR STORY... and thanks to you, I've got an idea to continue mine! THANKX 3
22zackayuI really love your story... and when I say I love your story means I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR STORY... and thanks to you, I've got an idea to continue mine! THANKX 3
6/11/2010 c11 8Assault Godzilla
This is my first time reading through this story, and I gotta say, this is on of the best Bleach crossovers I've read in a long time; this also being the 2nd or 3rd good one with Rosario + Vampire. Mind if I ask what pairings are gonna be in this? My gut tells me that there's gonna be Ichihime, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually put in. I'm honestly an almost die-hard Ichiruki fan, but I'm okay with almost anything, just so long the story continues. With everyone training hard, it only means the battles ahead will be harder! I look forward to the next chapter. :)
Keep it up!
8Assault GodzillaThis is my first time reading through this story, and I gotta say, this is on of the best Bleach crossovers I've read in a long time; this also being the 2nd or 3rd good one with Rosario + Vampire. Mind if I ask what pairings are gonna be in this? My gut tells me that there's gonna be Ichihime, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually put in. I'm honestly an almost die-hard Ichiruki fan, but I'm okay with almost anything, just so long the story continues. With everyone training hard, it only means the battles ahead will be harder! I look forward to the next chapter. :)
Keep it up!
6/5/2010 c11 1yuuki36
ahaha. So love this chapter.. There were lots of interesting things going through each party.
Kokoa vs Ichigo - great pair.. I love how Ichigo explains to her how he got stronger and that he wasn't born that way.. He worked hard to earn it.. ^^,
Uryu vs Kurumu - it's funny that Kurumu has a crush on Uryu..
Mizore vs Chad - still measuring each other part. But love the sparring..
Rukia with Ruby and Yukari - Thanks for letting Rukia have a moment of reflection on her life. Love the emotion set on Rukia. I almost felt as lonely as her when she was recalling her past..
And then, there's this thing about 'prince charming'.. Why can't it be Ichigo? I'm a IchgoxRukia fan. I don't like Orihime for Ichigo.. It's too typical.. .
Still, I don't know what you've got planned. Maybe, my preferred pairing still has a chance..
Good luck with the next chapter! You write really well! :3
1yuuki36ahaha. So love this chapter.. There were lots of interesting things going through each party.
Kokoa vs Ichigo - great pair.. I love how Ichigo explains to her how he got stronger and that he wasn't born that way.. He worked hard to earn it.. ^^,
Uryu vs Kurumu - it's funny that Kurumu has a crush on Uryu..
Mizore vs Chad - still measuring each other part. But love the sparring..
Rukia with Ruby and Yukari - Thanks for letting Rukia have a moment of reflection on her life. Love the emotion set on Rukia. I almost felt as lonely as her when she was recalling her past..
And then, there's this thing about 'prince charming'.. Why can't it be Ichigo? I'm a IchgoxRukia fan. I don't like Orihime for Ichigo.. It's too typical.. .
Still, I don't know what you've got planned. Maybe, my preferred pairing still has a chance..
Good luck with the next chapter! You write really well! :3
6/3/2010 c11 2The Laughing Swordsman
An interesting story. I've only got two real suggestions to give you. The first is show, not tell. You tend to state things, rather than describing them, and hurts the quality of your story. The second is to work on the "voice" of your characters. Each character has a distinct way of speaking, with differences in word choice, cadence, and the like. However, all your characters speak the same way, which makes them appear somewhat out of character. Chad and Rukia in particular are quite off- Chad is a quite a bit more laconic than you write him as, and Rukia's speach is far to casual for her character. Remember how she interacted with other characters when she was pretending to be a student at Ichigo's school?
2The Laughing SwordsmanAn interesting story. I've only got two real suggestions to give you. The first is show, not tell. You tend to state things, rather than describing them, and hurts the quality of your story. The second is to work on the "voice" of your characters. Each character has a distinct way of speaking, with differences in word choice, cadence, and the like. However, all your characters speak the same way, which makes them appear somewhat out of character. Chad and Rukia in particular are quite off- Chad is a quite a bit more laconic than you write him as, and Rukia's speach is far to casual for her character. Remember how she interacted with other characters when she was pretending to be a student at Ichigo's school?
5/24/2010 c11 Fionn the Otaku
Another Excallent chapter, I like Moka and Orihime's talk about Orihime's feelings for Ichigo. Another good part is how Ichigo dominated his "fight" with Kokoa and his advice to her (she is a very enthusiastic fighter). I also like how Uryu's training spar with Kurumu went and Chad's training spar with Mizore went.
Suggestions: Kokoa start to develop something of a fixation on Ichigo similer to the one she has on her sister as well as a crush she refuses to acknowledge, Yukari has relativly little trouble learning Kido due to being prodigy/genius, Orihime eventualy joins in the training mainly by having the others attack her Santen Kesshun,
Another Excallent chapter, I like Moka and Orihime's talk about Orihime's feelings for Ichigo. Another good part is how Ichigo dominated his "fight" with Kokoa and his advice to her (she is a very enthusiastic fighter). I also like how Uryu's training spar with Kurumu went and Chad's training spar with Mizore went.
Suggestions: Kokoa start to develop something of a fixation on Ichigo similer to the one she has on her sister as well as a crush she refuses to acknowledge, Yukari has relativly little trouble learning Kido due to being prodigy/genius, Orihime eventualy joins in the training mainly by having the others attack her Santen Kesshun,
5/23/2010 c10 Fionn the Otaku
Another Great Chapter, I like Tsukune's interal dialoge at the begining (especialy how he watched Ichigo's group extra closely) and the greeeting Gin gave Orihime (which i can't entirely blame him for) as well as the response from every one else to his greeting. Another good part is Rukia's lecture on Shinigami 101 and how Ichigo dismissed the importance of Rank. I also like who paired up with who for training as well as the immediate friction between Ichigo and Kokoa.
Another Great Chapter, I like Tsukune's interal dialoge at the begining (especialy how he watched Ichigo's group extra closely) and the greeeting Gin gave Orihime (which i can't entirely blame him for) as well as the response from every one else to his greeting. Another good part is Rukia's lecture on Shinigami 101 and how Ichigo dismissed the importance of Rank. I also like who paired up with who for training as well as the immediate friction between Ichigo and Kokoa.
5/23/2010 c9 Fionn the Otaku
Another wonderful chapter, I like the interaction between Ishida and Kurumu as well as his response to ichigo's annoyance over it. Another good part is Ichogo's reaction to Tsukune's injuries (I can almost hear him speaking in his usual casual/unconcerned tone) and Tsukune's friends reactions to the sight of Orihime healing him. I also like the reactions to Ichigo friends as they identified what they are and Kurumu's insistance that the main members of the newspaper club be taught to fight hollows. Yet another good part is the look at what's happening in Hueco Mundo and OCs seen there.
Another wonderful chapter, I like the interaction between Ishida and Kurumu as well as his response to ichigo's annoyance over it. Another good part is Ichogo's reaction to Tsukune's injuries (I can almost hear him speaking in his usual casual/unconcerned tone) and Tsukune's friends reactions to the sight of Orihime healing him. I also like the reactions to Ichigo friends as they identified what they are and Kurumu's insistance that the main members of the newspaper club be taught to fight hollows. Yet another good part is the look at what's happening in Hueco Mundo and OCs seen there.