for Cried For The Ones We Loved12/8/2017 c2 uffauffauffa
Great Carlisle. The Cullens will help LEAH better than his own family. I do not like the Cullens, only in some fanfictions they like me. Sorry bad translation
Great Carlisle. The Cullens will help LEAH better than his own family. I do not like the Cullens, only in some fanfictions they like me. Sorry bad translation
12/8/2017 c1 uffauffauffa
Poor LEAH. She could somehow start over from the baby, but she was too full of pain. And the little one in some way would have been part of the life of Sam and Emily, but not of the her.
Poor LEAH. She could somehow start over from the baby, but she was too full of pain. And the little one in some way would have been part of the life of Sam and Emily, but not of the her.
5/20/2010 c1 
3Wrandom Writer
Not a bad story. It was pretty good in the begining, but towards the second half, when she's back at the house packing it all got really jumbled. You were missing a lot punctuation so there were a lot of run on sentences. A lot of the sentences also meshed together, as there were words missing as well.
Very interesting plot line, though. You kept me reading in the begining, but because the punctuation and sentence fleuncy got all messed up towards the end, I didn't really want to keep reading.
I think the ideas at the begining and the end of this chapter were pretty good. I like that it starts out innocent and she just wants to hang out with her fiance and cousin, but then it ends with her leaving to have an abortion of her child that Sam didn't know about until that moment. . . so nice ending, ideas wise.
You should go through this again just go get out some of the mistakes and add in more punctuation. Having a second set of eyes look it over before publishing wouldn't be a bad idea either.
Overall, I liked the begining, but no so much the end (of this chapter) simply because it was all really jumbled.
Keep writing,
Wrandom
PS.
I read on your profle that you like "new sexy vampires" in stories. My story isn't a leah story, but it does focus on new vampires if you wanted to check it out. :)
3Wrandom WriterNot a bad story. It was pretty good in the begining, but towards the second half, when she's back at the house packing it all got really jumbled. You were missing a lot punctuation so there were a lot of run on sentences. A lot of the sentences also meshed together, as there were words missing as well.
Very interesting plot line, though. You kept me reading in the begining, but because the punctuation and sentence fleuncy got all messed up towards the end, I didn't really want to keep reading.
I think the ideas at the begining and the end of this chapter were pretty good. I like that it starts out innocent and she just wants to hang out with her fiance and cousin, but then it ends with her leaving to have an abortion of her child that Sam didn't know about until that moment. . . so nice ending, ideas wise.
You should go through this again just go get out some of the mistakes and add in more punctuation. Having a second set of eyes look it over before publishing wouldn't be a bad idea either.
Overall, I liked the begining, but no so much the end (of this chapter) simply because it was all really jumbled.
Keep writing,
Wrandom
PS.
I read on your profle that you like "new sexy vampires" in stories. My story isn't a leah story, but it does focus on new vampires if you wanted to check it out. :)
4/28/2010 c4 2MoreWolfThanGirl
This is a really good story! I think that the first chapter was my favorite. :)
I'm excited to see where this ends up going!
Thanks!
morewolfthangirl
2MoreWolfThanGirlThis is a really good story! I think that the first chapter was my favorite. :)
I'm excited to see where this ends up going!
Thanks!
morewolfthangirl
4/19/2010 c3 ShadowCub
She just got over a breakup about a hour ago,
she just put her life into the hands of a stranger,
she was going to have a abortion.
At what point does she grow up and stop looking for
Prince Charming to fix her life?
She can't make a decision for herself but she letting
strangers make them for her. Sad.
She just got over a breakup about a hour ago,
she just put her life into the hands of a stranger,
she was going to have a abortion.
At what point does she grow up and stop looking for
Prince Charming to fix her life?
She can't make a decision for herself but she letting
strangers make them for her. Sad.
3/30/2010 c3 buttahfly
LOVE this! Ur a gud riter! Jus hv some gramatical errors, but thats it, n its worth overlooking 2 read ur story! I rlly like it! SMEXI StORY!
LOVE this! Ur a gud riter! Jus hv some gramatical errors, but thats it, n its worth overlooking 2 read ur story! I rlly like it! SMEXI StORY!
3/22/2010 c3 maying38
Your first 2 chapters had a good flow (although I have to be honest, I'm not a big fan of "song fics"). Your 3rd chapter though seems disjointed. It almost seemed quite rushed. I understood the point of the chapter (Emmett & Edward's introduction). I think it just needs refinement.
Your first 2 chapters had a good flow (although I have to be honest, I'm not a big fan of "song fics"). Your 3rd chapter though seems disjointed. It almost seemed quite rushed. I understood the point of the chapter (Emmett & Edward's introduction). I think it just needs refinement.
2/21/2010 c2 13Seleen
OMG that is one of the most unique twists i have ever read in a Leah Clearwater story! I said you were good in my last review but now I am saying you are amazing!
13SeleenOMG that is one of the most unique twists i have ever read in a Leah Clearwater story! I said you were good in my last review but now I am saying you are amazing!
2/21/2010 c1 Seleen
Wow that was so sad! i am like gonna cry! This is awesome! You are a good writer and i cant wait to read more
Wow that was so sad! i am like gonna cry! This is awesome! You are a good writer and i cant wait to read more