
5/13/2013 c12
7TsundereNoOtaku6615
Kyaaa! I love the couples that you did. But why didn't you add PeonyxNephry? Still, it was good on overall, considering that it only took me 20 minutes to finish this today. I also liked the fluff between Giselle and Jade. More power!

Kyaaa! I love the couples that you did. But why didn't you add PeonyxNephry? Still, it was good on overall, considering that it only took me 20 minutes to finish this today. I also liked the fluff between Giselle and Jade. More power!
5/13/2013 c12
20FreireLover
The story was very rare: the people was dead are alive now, Efreet, Sync-Arietta... but It is very interesting. I see one problem with your story: the chapters are very short when the story has a lot of things you can write about. If you put this problem apart, this fanfic is a good work. The best (in my opinion) is the Asch-Noir relationship (I hate Natalia LOL). Sorry for my language and greeting from Spain!

The story was very rare: the people was dead are alive now, Efreet, Sync-Arietta... but It is very interesting. I see one problem with your story: the chapters are very short when the story has a lot of things you can write about. If you put this problem apart, this fanfic is a good work. The best (in my opinion) is the Asch-Noir relationship (I hate Natalia LOL). Sorry for my language and greeting from Spain!
4/13/2013 c9 Guest
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3/19/2013 c1 Guest
What's the point of putting Tales of the Abyss in the title? :/ We know what fandom we're reading from. It would sound better just as Conflict of Fonons
What's the point of putting Tales of the Abyss in the title? :/ We know what fandom we're reading from. It would sound better just as Conflict of Fonons
1/24/2013 c7
5IHaveNoIdea8
Sorry to say, but this isn't very good.
I'll admit that I haven't really read all of it, but from what I HAVE read, I noticed pretty obvious spelling mistakes and grammar issues, and they appear way too often for me to just shrug them off as the occasional typo.
You have some issues with keeping the characters in character, (Asch would never use the word 'cause instead of because, for one) and so far everything seems really fast-paced and confusing to keep up with. I would suggest adding a LOT of description about what's going on instead of relying too heavily on dialogue to tell the story. When all of your paragraphs are only one line long, it doesn't look good at a first glance.
Not only does the added description make things easier to follow for the reader, it makes the chapters look better just by first appearances on the screen. This chapter was way too short, mostly because of the lack of description.
The idea for the story is interesting, but your writing style isn't really carrying it, it'll take a lot of re-working before this fic can meet it's real potential, I think.

Sorry to say, but this isn't very good.
I'll admit that I haven't really read all of it, but from what I HAVE read, I noticed pretty obvious spelling mistakes and grammar issues, and they appear way too often for me to just shrug them off as the occasional typo.
You have some issues with keeping the characters in character, (Asch would never use the word 'cause instead of because, for one) and so far everything seems really fast-paced and confusing to keep up with. I would suggest adding a LOT of description about what's going on instead of relying too heavily on dialogue to tell the story. When all of your paragraphs are only one line long, it doesn't look good at a first glance.
Not only does the added description make things easier to follow for the reader, it makes the chapters look better just by first appearances on the screen. This chapter was way too short, mostly because of the lack of description.
The idea for the story is interesting, but your writing style isn't really carrying it, it'll take a lot of re-working before this fic can meet it's real potential, I think.
1/24/2013 c8 RKF22
YOUR BCK GLOURIOUS ...just kidding awsome update well done glad your back cant wait for more
YOUR BCK GLOURIOUS ...just kidding awsome update well done glad your back cant wait for more
1/4/2013 c7 Guest
aww...i can't wait for chapter 8
aww...i can't wait for chapter 8