1/18/2014 c1 2Insufficient Nightmares
HOLY SWEET BABY GOD I THINK I WILL CRY YOU A RIVER WITH HOW ABSOLUTELY LOVELY AND SAD THIS WAS.

5/20/2010 c1 3Chika Hoshi
The last line, the very last line...that was really well done!

But I really don't like it when people easily say 'I love you' and then just say that they should just break up. So the relationship...erm, well, uh...didn't really seem to taken serious. But who am I to say? Never been into relationships, probably won't for a long time. Young love isn't the only love, I say. Though I can't say how love is, since love comes in all shapes or sizes. So no go for me. But there are plenty of fishes in the sea. ;/

Okay, enough of that lecturing...Onward to the plot.

Well, I usually not into the typical relationships like these (no offense intended), but it was worth spending time reading for. It takes to a different approach only little though.

But main two issues that I had troubles are

1.) The writing felt like a ten-year-old wrote this. (Are you ten-years-old or around there? If not, I don't mean to be offensive...) There could have been more depth than it let itself appeared. Like was going on behind those scenes or tone, it could have been more than it let itself to be.

But I understand if you didn't want to of it's because of the personal experiences. But seeing that you still wrote one, eh, mind's as well anyway. But I understand if you don't because of that.

And 2.) Watch for grammar. That's the another thing that makes it feel like a ten-year-old wrote this. I keep seeing easy spotted mistakes.

I know I might have sounded really rude, but they were real big problems that you can clean up on. Don't take it personal, I often give out advices on what to fix and whatnot.

Chika H.~

2/9/2010 c1 5newfriendsaregolden
aw how sweet...

2/8/2010 c1 5Vidka
WHA!~

Why is it so sad and well written and so pro?

Are you actually Stephenie Meyer in disguise? O.o