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for Revolt:

12/30/2014 c29 3litterry
Awesome, how Luffy reborn again
11/30/2014 c2 13sanzopriestess
So far so good :)
*says in singaong voice* Blackbeard is in trouble
11/30/2014 c8 27LeafyxThiefy
Ok so far I'm liking the story, alot of different twists and turns that keep you interested. I do hope garp isn't dead though, but I'm also confused on his part, did he marry Diane Teach first and had Marshall, then passes him off as his nephew after her death did he marry Dadan and have Dragon and his sister claiming them as his children but not Marshall? Or did Diane have Marshall from a different marriage but garp didn't adopt him as a son but as a nephew?
12/15/2011 c1 6Mike Turner 1
Now, I know what you'll be thinking, Son of Whitebeard, as you read this review.

'Why are you reading this story instead of Newhart's voyage?' and the answer is quite simple...

Seeing as Newhart's voyage was a sequel to Revolt, I decided that I'd read this first to try and get a better grip on what's happening. After all, if Newhart takes place within the same universe, then I'll probably need to know what's changed :D

Now, on to the review itself!

So far, this chapter has proved quite interesting indeed, especially with the great revolutionary Dragon having met Fisher Tiger and having recruited him into the revolutionary. This story definately has potential and now, I'm quite excited to see where it goes :D

Making Smoker Garp's understudy was also a really intersting move and I'm glad that you showed Tsura and Sengoku thinking politically about their situation and considering what best course of action would be needed to stop Fisher Tiger's assault on the Holy Land.

"There is an old saying that people said that love is like a hurricane and my love for you aptly matches that description, you'll be blown away by what I Monkey D. Dragon can do!" 0.0 THAT LINE WAS FREAKING EPIC AND BRILLIANTLY USED :D

It was also interesting seeing a one piece story that, so far, hasn't featured Luffy but has instead focused on a lot of the characters who were apart of the last era, or characters who started out in the last area, only to become more prominent later on in Luffy's travels.

Unfortunately, I did not notice quite a few grammatical errors in the chapter (sometimes confusing me a little with what you meant) but I got through it and the ideas in this fic were so original, they just about overshadowed the small mistakes here and there.

I was also kinda confused why Tsura had a scottish accent (I don't remember her voice being like that anywhere in any of the dubs...AND Scotland doesn't really exist in the One Piece universe as well).

Overall, though, I must admit I enjoyed the start of this story and I'm highly intrigued to see where things will go next :D
9/14/2010 c29 Czar Lawrence III
fitting end
9/13/2010 c29 6ichiro92
The end, huh?

Over the course of 29 chapters, you've improved immensely, and while the story wasn't perfect (rarely any are), it was still very enjoyable.
9/13/2010 c29 28Son of Whitebeard
The End has arrived!
9/7/2010 c28 7Sorakage Sama
Not bad. The plot is pretty good, even if the dialogue is a little choppy in places. I doubt Garp the fist would use the words 'wholesome womb' no matter what world he comes from. But that's my opinion.

Ja ne

Sorakage Sama
9/4/2010 c28 6ichiro92
Hancock's pregnant and there's a time machine now?

Well, I guess you like making Alternate Universe stories, not that it's a bad thing...
9/4/2010 c28 Tsar001
cool
9/4/2010 c28 28Son of Whitebeard
Check out the latest chapter?

But this chapter contains a new part of Luffy's family...

Will Rear-Admiral Swift save the day?
8/31/2010 c27 32Mr Khan
Almost sounds like Big Mom should go Shichibukai, i think.
8/18/2010 c27 Czar Lawrence III
I miss whitebeard...)=
8/18/2010 c27 6ichiro92
Hmmmm, still seeing some fundamental problems with the story-telling. All of the dialogue is blatant exposition, and it should be weaved in more smoothly and naturally, letting the readers know over time instead of all at once when a character says it.

Your pacing is getting much better, although it could be a bit confusing as to when we're in Luffy's past or the present, so it might be better to focus on one until it's done, or devote an entire chapter to one timeline.

Your OC Nightingale is interesting, although not much of his personality is known yet, so you should reveal it slowly over time until he feels like a real OP character. As for Big Mom and Sir Galahad (Monty Python reference?), I can't accurately say anything about them yet, for I don't quite know what they're about.
8/18/2010 c27 28Son of Whitebeard
comment and rate this chapter,

I would also like in your comments. To put what you like about my OC'S that I introduced?

Chapter Note:

if you read One Peice manga. Two of Whitebeard's allies 8th Divison Commander Fossa, and Thunder Lord Mukagai. have swords that produce electricity or flames I decided Nightingale has that ability!
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