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5/24/2010 c18 28Son of Whitebeard
This chapter contains allusions to Bleach.

Also the character of Brownbeard is not an OC but a character introduced a few chapters back!

Suggest who you might or want to appear at Whitebeard's funeral1
5/21/2010 c17 AccntDeactivated11-06-2011
wow, I think it was great! Good job and keep writing!
5/16/2010 c17 1floatcoral
AH! GOMEN! Please forgive me for not reviewing earlier. It's been a long time and I've been working on my Bleach Fanfictions! Sorry. As usual, I did keep my promise though, your story is really good and I can't wait until the next chapter! It's really good. I'm not the person who reviews a lot but still. It's really good and I'm keeping my word for it so keep it up!
5/16/2010 c17 4eternitybeckons
so Doflamingo has recruited Zore? I wonder how Lufffy's going to take that...

and I'm curious as to who that is flying above Kidd.
5/16/2010 c16 eternitybeckons
cool, so Luffy finally met his dad, and now they get to fight side by side. I can't wait to see what happens next.
5/15/2010 c17 Czar Lawrence III
Better, but there's still room for improvement, but writing is a learning experience after-all! Who did you get to be your Beta Reader, btw?
5/15/2010 c17 6ichiro92
Perhaps I missed something early on, but when exactly did the Straw Hat crew break up? I was led to believe that this story took place twenty years ago. What exactly happened to Fisher Tiger? Is he out of the story for good.

And for a little bit of advice, you might want to put on your story that this takes place in an alternate univers (AU), or has characters that are "out of character" (OOC). Otherwise, people will get angered that you changed around the personlities of so many people, like Zoro for instance, not caring at all about his old crew.

My suggestion still also stands that I believe you should rewrite the story, vary up your sentences, explain things in more details, foreshadow on events to come. That, I believe, would make this story that much more enjoyable.

Oh, and for my prediction on who's shadow that is, I'm gonna go ahead and say that it's one of the other Supernovas who you have yet to mention, such as Bonney or Apoo.
5/15/2010 c17 28Son of Whitebeard
comment and rate this chapter, as well as try and think what is going to happen in the next chapter...

Then post that in your comment?
5/13/2010 c16 64Pumpkin Zucchini
DragonxRobin? Me likey. :D
5/10/2010 c15 4eternitybeckons
i'm glad sengoku got his position back, and the fact that there is another Oharan alive is a nice twist. I can't wait to see what happens next.
5/10/2010 c14 eternitybeckons
so Doflamingo is basil's grandfather, and ace is gone?

and Luffy is awake in the main stream? bepo dancing was hilarious xD

doflamingo is a devil? that would explain a lot...
5/10/2010 c13 eternitybeckons
wow, so here are different times/demension type things? and Doflamingo is at the center o it? that was unexpected.

and Luffy's part of he marines? And what's going on with ace? I'm off to read the next chapter!
5/10/2010 c12 eternitybeckons
so Marco died but being a pheonix he came back to life? cool!

and I like how you incorprated crocodile being at the execution and it being whitebeard who made him loose his hand.
5/10/2010 c11 eternitybeckons
great chapter. I loved Marco's and Shiryuu's fight.

so whitebeard and hancock made amends? thats good. well, I'm off to read the next chapter!(my laptop got taken away so I didn't get a chance to)
5/9/2010 c16 4Sir Gar the Bold
interesting concept, but i must be frank and blunt. i cut authors a certain amount of slack, but i'm reaching my limit here. there are a considerable amount of errors that need to be addressed, mostly involving spelling, grammar, continuity, clarity and coherence. i don't mean to be too mean, but that's just how it is.

-sir gar the bold
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