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5/9/2010 c16 6ichiro92
"Robin replied sweetly 'Yes that's right, and as soon as we finish this nasty business we're going to be wedded,' "

Wait, did I miss something important here? When did this development happen? I ask this to highlight what I have been saying about this story for quite a while, and that it is rushed. I understand that a writer wants to get to the exciting parts of the story as soon as possible, but cutting corners and rushing doesn't work.

A good story (at least in my eyes) is one that builds off of everything that happens, one that connects everything in the end to make an exciting climax. And I think it's sad that this story had that going for it, but things got rushed and weren't explained clearly, and storylines got muddled, making it tough for the reader.

I write this merely as a suggestion, and while I'm st it, I think the best way to save the idea for this story is to rewrite the entire thing and put it back up after rewriting it. It may seem like a harsh transaction, but I think yoou'll see that onece you take your time to write a story and build everything up, it makes it much much better for the reader.
5/9/2010 c3 Munia
i like this chapter, so Drragon is some kind of prophet?
5/9/2010 c2 Munia
well, the chapter is certainly interesting, but it was abit strange for me to read teh format of this story...he he he...

live long and prosper

5/9/2010 c15 Tsar001
What parallels to Luffy's visit to Shell Town? Maybe I'm just forgetting the early OP stuffs...=(
5/6/2010 c1 1Kyo-Taicho
You asked me to be honest and I'm going to be honest, but I just hope you actually read these, because I've seen so many other comments on the same material and they seem to just keep repeating themselves.

The grammar is bad, there's no transitions whatsoever, no explanation as to how Fisher Tiger suddenly knows Rokushiki, because that is a form of martial arts learned by high ranking Cipher Pol operatives; I seriously doubt a fishman could have learned it.

You keep repeating the same things over and over such as "Garp said coolly" or "Sengoku said darkly," and in one sentence with Ivankov, you're suddenly typing in all caps and then it just stops.

I mean, I don't even know where to start with you on this. I don't have time to be sitting around reading every tiny little thing and pointing out every single mistake, because there's just so many of them.

You read my stories, and I'm sure you read other people's stories, so maybe you should take some inspiration from then and actually learn how to write properly.
5/5/2010 c15 6ichiro92
"Beppo was in his white fur pyjamas, which where made from the skins of his ex-wife after an argument over him not catching enough fish for his cubs." O_O Bepo's a badass.

Anyways, interesting thoughts as always. Sengoku getting the axe and Akainu taking over was a nice twist. That Doflamingo likes to be everywhere at once, doesn't he? Anyways, looking forward to new chapter.

P.S: Robin is 28, so she couldn't be alive 30 years ago. Just thought I'd let you know.
5/4/2010 c1 16penniless1
You have the potential for a good story here - the plot could be very intriguing as Oda hasn't elaborated on Fisher Tiger at all.

Have you considered requesting a beta? While it may take longer to post chapters, it always helps to have a second pair of eyes to help you correct grammar and spelling mistakes you may have missed (or your word editor of choice may have created). I'd offer, but I am going to need to go into hiatus soon.
4/30/2010 c14 Oh God
ALright, I've read this all the way through, and I have one thing to say.
First off, this is some of the crapieest writing I've EVER come across on anysite. You cannot write for crap and I really do hope you do not plan to be a writer.
Secondly, you review your own stories all the time, telling people to read it! WILL YOU SHUT THE F* UP AND LEARN TO WRITE BETTER OR STOP WRITING AT ALL!
4/30/2010 c14 Czar Lawrence III
man, it seems like everything in my life is coming to an end! God, tennis is over, exams, soccer...jeezus, when will it end?
Anyway, take your time getting back. Rushing only makes the writing and plotline poor, so take your time and hope to see you back!
4/30/2010 c14 6ichiro92
"You forget we're smarter than the average bear!"...Badass.

So the elusive Pandaman makes his appearence eh? I guess we'll find out in the future arc (I'm assuming). It's a shame you're going on hiatus, be sure to be back soon!

I'll be waiting for an update...
4/30/2010 c14 28Son of Whitebeard
check out my final chapter of Revolt for a while...
But don't worry please discuss future ideas in my new Revolt Forum:
4/30/2010 c1 Munia
i like this story. it is certainly intersting.

good luck with it

4/27/2010 c13 6ichiro92
Doflamingo, eh? Interesting idea to say the least, kind of like pulling an Aizen (like the Bleach reference? =D)

Personally, I thought it would have had a bigger impact if there were a few more subtle clues hidden, or if more time was taken in what previously happened, but that's just me.

I'm personally interested in where this is going, so continue!
4/27/2010 c13 10Wolvenstrom
good. Always enjoy original attacks.
4/26/2010 c13 64Pumpkin Zucchini
Good fight scene.

You should put some Strawhats in the fray... like Sanji or Robin or Franky.
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