
2/28/2010 c1 Valter Grimhart
hot damn,I liked that,very few grammatical errors,interesting story and,whats this? You actually have a straight vampire naruto! Unholy hell in a hand basket your my hero. jokes aside,im lookin forward to your updates,I'm itching to see Kushina and her daughters reaction to all this.
hot damn,I liked that,very few grammatical errors,interesting story and,whats this? You actually have a straight vampire naruto! Unholy hell in a hand basket your my hero. jokes aside,im lookin forward to your updates,I'm itching to see Kushina and her daughters reaction to all this.
2/28/2010 c1
1Still Not Dead Yet
Destroying the last Hiraishin scroll, now that's sending a massage.
I must say this fic has a great start and I hope you update soon.
As for the Harem I think FemHaku, Anko and Annaliece will all be great for this story.
As this story isn't over the top Naruto's mistreatment (he wasn't beaten multiple times daily since he was 2 month's old and regularly set on fire etc, etc...) at worst Hinata would have been treated extremely coldly but she is a clan heir so no physical harm would come to her, at worst she would have even more extreme confidence issues than in canon. Also by Naruto saying "Fuck it!" he looses many of the qualities that attracted her stalker-ish attention, which she wouldn't have time for if the clan is more overbearing than canon.
In short Naruto should no longer(if ever in this story) have Hinata's interest and even if she was interested she would not have suffered enough to form a connection like he did with Anko.
As for Isaribi I for one I don't watch the anime so writing her into the story might leave me and others a bit lost. Also you said yourself that she's a fish girl and if I reamember correctly vampires have problems with running water. I have a problem(though I can easily overlook it) with pairing a bat and some tuna, though I'm all for befriending and helping her become a true Mermaid or water nymph or something.
Three girls I would like to see added are Shizune, Temari and Tayuya.
Shizune: first of all I say the world needs more of her, secondly you've already establish Tsunade as a negligent individual who could have become worse the more desperate she becomes until she does something like "you can do whatever you want for a night to my assistant if you clear my debt's". Or you could just make her her more abusive towards Shizune.
Temari: She was in the middle of Garra's fuck-up childhood if anyone can understand it would be her. 'Nuff said.
Tayuya: She has a very defensive personality, suggesting she has a history similar to Anko. Secondly she's hot especially with Cursed Seal Level 2 and Demonic looking. Plus winning her over would be a nice nod toward the "old Naruto". I think the villagers reaction to her would be hugely entertaining especially if she becomes permanent level 2 (which is something i have never read before but hope to one day write) or similar. If you need any more reason to include her i strongly recommend a one-shot called "The Real Reason For My Nindo"(I might have misspelled "Nindo")
Sorry for going on so much so here's 2 final things, Iruka seems like in this story her really is a brother to Naruto so don't let him fade Into oblivion. The final thing: PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

Destroying the last Hiraishin scroll, now that's sending a massage.
I must say this fic has a great start and I hope you update soon.
As for the Harem I think FemHaku, Anko and Annaliece will all be great for this story.
As this story isn't over the top Naruto's mistreatment (he wasn't beaten multiple times daily since he was 2 month's old and regularly set on fire etc, etc...) at worst Hinata would have been treated extremely coldly but she is a clan heir so no physical harm would come to her, at worst she would have even more extreme confidence issues than in canon. Also by Naruto saying "Fuck it!" he looses many of the qualities that attracted her stalker-ish attention, which she wouldn't have time for if the clan is more overbearing than canon.
In short Naruto should no longer(if ever in this story) have Hinata's interest and even if she was interested she would not have suffered enough to form a connection like he did with Anko.
As for Isaribi I for one I don't watch the anime so writing her into the story might leave me and others a bit lost. Also you said yourself that she's a fish girl and if I reamember correctly vampires have problems with running water. I have a problem(though I can easily overlook it) with pairing a bat and some tuna, though I'm all for befriending and helping her become a true Mermaid or water nymph or something.
Three girls I would like to see added are Shizune, Temari and Tayuya.
Shizune: first of all I say the world needs more of her, secondly you've already establish Tsunade as a negligent individual who could have become worse the more desperate she becomes until she does something like "you can do whatever you want for a night to my assistant if you clear my debt's". Or you could just make her her more abusive towards Shizune.
Temari: She was in the middle of Garra's fuck-up childhood if anyone can understand it would be her. 'Nuff said.
Tayuya: She has a very defensive personality, suggesting she has a history similar to Anko. Secondly she's hot especially with Cursed Seal Level 2 and Demonic looking. Plus winning her over would be a nice nod toward the "old Naruto". I think the villagers reaction to her would be hugely entertaining especially if she becomes permanent level 2 (which is something i have never read before but hope to one day write) or similar. If you need any more reason to include her i strongly recommend a one-shot called "The Real Reason For My Nindo"(I might have misspelled "Nindo")
Sorry for going on so much so here's 2 final things, Iruka seems like in this story her really is a brother to Naruto so don't let him fade Into oblivion. The final thing: PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
2/27/2010 c1 Fayneir
This the best of the responses to Dracohalo's challenge. I really enjoyed this first chapter and I'm looking forward to future chapters.
This the best of the responses to Dracohalo's challenge. I really enjoyed this first chapter and I'm looking forward to future chapters.
2/26/2010 c1 0Deleted-Profile0
cool new story. I cant wait for more! Also, if you are looking for some ideas for his vampire powers then i would suggest you looking into an anime called Black Blood Brothers.(that is if you havent seen the anime already)
cool new story. I cant wait for more! Also, if you are looking for some ideas for his vampire powers then i would suggest you looking into an anime called Black Blood Brothers.(that is if you havent seen the anime already)
2/26/2010 c1 bleacher
this new a vampire naruto kinda funny how you had him burn the scrolls though i would suggest almost a bleach kinda thing but i dont think it would really work out that well here
this new a vampire naruto kinda funny how you had him burn the scrolls though i would suggest almost a bleach kinda thing but i dont think it would really work out that well here
2/26/2010 c1
7raw666
Honestly, I really can't decide what direction this story will go, but it seems to have the making of a great story with the plot and twist. But I do have a recommendation, please let it not be Kushina hunt Naruto down to save his soul, those stories are not really the best. I suggest is that Kushina is in different and wants nothing to do with him or tries to reclaim him.

Honestly, I really can't decide what direction this story will go, but it seems to have the making of a great story with the plot and twist. But I do have a recommendation, please let it not be Kushina hunt Naruto down to save his soul, those stories are not really the best. I suggest is that Kushina is in different and wants nothing to do with him or tries to reclaim him.
2/26/2010 c1 kurokitsune666
Its an AWESOME!story UPDATE SOON!
And I think (fem.) Haku and Annaliece would be nice in Narutos harem!
Its an AWESOME!story UPDATE SOON!
And I think (fem.) Haku and Annaliece would be nice in Narutos harem!
2/26/2010 c1 Bahumat knight
awesome story man, though gotta say, kinda hoping you take isarabi and hinata out of the harem, to be honest, never really liked naruto/isarabi pairing, never felt it could work, and with hinata being pretty much nothing more than a creepy shadow in the anime and manga, unless you going to make her oc with a edgier attitude, maybe an attitude like inner moka from Rosario+vampire. also think tayuya would be fun to see naruto with, if your takin suggestions. awesome chapter, gonna be one hell of a story, cant wait to read more, plz update soon
awesome story man, though gotta say, kinda hoping you take isarabi and hinata out of the harem, to be honest, never really liked naruto/isarabi pairing, never felt it could work, and with hinata being pretty much nothing more than a creepy shadow in the anime and manga, unless you going to make her oc with a edgier attitude, maybe an attitude like inner moka from Rosario+vampire. also think tayuya would be fun to see naruto with, if your takin suggestions. awesome chapter, gonna be one hell of a story, cant wait to read more, plz update soon
2/26/2010 c1
3Soul Painted Black
a realy great story i hope to see more from it but you need to add a little humour in future i understand a dark fic but there is such a thing as dark humour it keeps people interested more than most cliff hangers

a realy great story i hope to see more from it but you need to add a little humour in future i understand a dark fic but there is such a thing as dark humour it keeps people interested more than most cliff hangers
2/26/2010 c1
6Third Fang
interesting naruto vampire fic. It could become something good if it keeps up. make sure not to rush everything regarding Naruto and the village though, otherwise you might run out of material too quickly.

interesting naruto vampire fic. It could become something good if it keeps up. make sure not to rush everything regarding Naruto and the village though, otherwise you might run out of material too quickly.