Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Tanshin Away From Home

1/22/2016 c7 Nightwolfs
update can't wait
11/20/2012 c7 Guest
This is pretty damn awesome.
5/30/2011 c7 Tia'RaHu
I'm really enjoying this. I hope you get the chance to write more soon!
4/16/2011 c7 3laelruin
"Tanshin Away From Home" was very interesting. I really enjoyed it! I've never seen a Sasuke Star Wars crossover before, and he's not a Jedi! I really hope that you continue this story. What does Tanshin mean? I'm curious.

Thanks for the cool story,

Ruin
1/13/2011 c7 7Vtll
Hey! My impression of this story is that I like it. It's a little underdeveloped, but it's a good story. The concept is good, and I think you're growing more comfortable with your characters as you go along. I personally think your characterizations of Obi-Wan and Anakin were good. Your characterization of Sasuke was... interesting to me. This isn't the normal Sasuke, and I'm NOT saying that's BAD. He's just different, and I'd like to know WHY he's different.

What I meant by underdeveloped is: you have a lot of good ideas and good movement in this story, but everything seems very rushed. I understand that you're dealing with Sasuke, who, believe me, is one of the tougher characters to write, but don't be afraid to go into more emotion, more expression, more posture. Don't be afraid to add small, random details. Your chapters are good, but they end leaving me with a "that's it?" feeling, which is good, don't misunderstand, since that's what will bring me back for more, but in this case, I think you need to add a little more conflict-resolution.

Chapter Seven, though confusing in itself (and on purpose) was the best out of all of them. It was very well paced, gave me the rushed, chased feeling, and I began to connect with the characters, and yes, you do have me wondering who the men are. :)

In a crossover, it is essential that the relationships between crossover characters grab you, yank you, and hold you. I appreciate that you haven't gone into melodrama (the worst sin a crossover writer can commit) and I think that so far you're holding the worlds together well, but at this point, what's going to keep me is the character interaction. This could be very well because of what kind of person *I* am (someone very character driven). But what I want to say is don't be afraid to explore that a little. Even when sitting for an hour silently in a spaceship, interaction is still happening.

Maybe it's awkward tension, maybe Anakin is getting annoyed and drumming his fingers which makes Sasuke annoyed which makes...(you get the idea), maybe Anakin and Obi-Wan are having a silent staring match. Maybe Sasuke is staring into the rearview mirror drawing mustaches on them. I don't know. But take situations like that and explore. The reader can only explore as much as the writer, but you made me want to explore so much, which is rare.

Most fanfiction writers make me board because I feel like I've seen all that I can see in their situations. You left me feeling like... hmmm... that's interesting, I wonder what would have happened if... or when... or how...

This is VERY good.

In summary: this story has great potential! You're not wordy, which is great, most of your characters are spot on, it's a little rushed, but I think you're getting more comfortable and that'll smooth itself out, and I can see definite progression (in plot and writing ability) from one chapter to the next. You've made me curious about what's going to happen next, who's who, and why's why, which is very good. My only advice is once again - don't be worried about exploring.

Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more!
11/25/2010 c7 MrGoodyTwoShoes
Crossing over Naruto with anything Sci-fi is usually a tricky thing but so far in my quick reading you've done it well and have done a good job of integrating Sasuke into the Star Wars universe.

My only problem, and excuse me if I missed it or if you have it planned down the line, is that you haven't explained at all why Sasuke is in the Star Wars universe, how he got there, how long has he been there or if he want to go back to the Shinobi world. I

f you have planned for the big reveal later, maybe start trying to plant the seeds of him telling to revealing his tale of how he got there sooner than later. It's nice that you started the ball running without a long introduction but a little backstory does help as well.

Hope this helps.

TRGTS of Critic's United.
11/4/2010 c7 Skipernicus
seems like a good story so far keep up the nice work
10/19/2010 c7 Nitinha56
I like it update soon please.
9/14/2010 c7 just.another.perfect.stranger
Wow, this is really good! I really really like it! You have a really good writting style, and from what I can see your characterisation seems to be pretty much spot on!

That was a major cliffhanger you just stopped on, so I can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon!
9/10/2010 c7 1NekoLovesSushi
Finally posted ! ^^ high five! Onward to another chapter we go!
9/8/2010 c7 34LadyoftheShield
No idea.. not too familiar with Star Wars.. Good job! Keep it up!
8/14/2010 c1 4Taijen
this seems promising
7/19/2010 c6 34LadyoftheShield
Wonderful job with this! Your characterizations are excellent, and the fight scene was amazing!

What I want to know is- how did Sasuke get over there? Drooling with anticipation here... Keep it coming!
5/17/2010 c6 Srednasnhoj
A very enjoyable story so far. I really like Sasuke as a character more than Naruto. He was always too loud for me.
4/29/2010 c6 1mandiiluvsgaara
awsome thats all there is to it
32 Page 1 .. Last Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service