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5/31/2015 c3 ronniefranco8
i love this story. You shud continue it.
8/7/2010 c3 Sassy1515
hey kp! nice chapter:D
4/6/2010 c2 12sassie69
This has a little more depth to it than the first version. Thanks for the 'cast list' by way of explanation. I am glad to see Toby as Communications Director and Sam as DCOS.
4/5/2010 c2 5harryandjamesluvr
Very good idea for a story. Update soon.
4/5/2010 c4 12sassie69
This has great potential. Don't be put off by those sticklers for total reality, it's fiction! More depth to the story would enhance it and get across the feelings of horror and angst. I am looking forward to the new improved version.
3/29/2010 c2 8lcf328
Great premise for a story. I also love angst and suspense! As far as your other reviews - I am also willing to suspend my disbelief quite a bit for a good fic, but I agree with Jayne Leigh...if Josh's kidnappers were able to pull off such a major security breach at the White House, you should come up with some explanation as to HOW they did it. (Maybe you're alreayd planning that for an upcoming chapter.) I have to admit I was also surprised that you're having the hostage situation come to an end so soon. I was kind of expecting the suspense to be dragged out longer - though it sounds like poor Josh is pretty seriously injuured, so I'm guessing there will be more drama there!

You might want to get a beta-reader for typos, grammar, and sentence structure.

Anyway, I really appreciate the effort! Love drama and angst, especially involving Josh! Looking forward to the next chapter. :)
3/29/2010 c2 111Jayne Leigh
I've wrote many fics where, there was no way it would happen in the show so I don't see it being a problem. Although, a memember of staff or someone close the president being kidnapped isn't out of the question. (It happened to Zoey in season 4 so hey.)

I do however agree, with Troub95. Parts of it doesn't seem plausible but I think that is will be an easy fix if you just make it a bit longer and go into more detail. Explain how they manager to get control of white house tvs. It probably not possiable in real life cos of the high security in the WH but fanfics aren't real. If you decide they take over the WH then go for it but tell us how so we can imagine.

Its a good idea... i love fics where josh is a main character with drama and angst thrown in. Hope you continue. Noticed that it's your first WW fic so don't worry to much about it. Sure the dialogue style with get better the more you write.

Hope I have helped.

3/29/2010 c3 12sassie69
Okay we've moved on quickly here. Josh has 30 minutes to be saved, will he , won't he? Good point about it being AU, many au things couldn't really happen. Thank you for using the spellcheck this time though.
3/29/2010 c2 3Troub95
It seems a bit juvenile, especially for The West Wing. There isn't any of the back and forth that is so indicative of this show. I would suggest watching a few episodes again to refresh yourself with the dialogue style. I would also suggest rethinking the feasibility of some organization taking over the communications inside the White House. It doesn’t seem plausible.
3/20/2010 c1 sassy1515
yo ol.bye the way-my login isnt working so i may make a new account
3/20/2010 c1 Maggie
spell-check and proofreading would have made this story more understandable.
3/20/2010 c1 12sassie69
Interesting start.
3/19/2010 c1 jdauber
I hope you will continue with the story.
3/19/2010 c1 p.e
yeahh was very good im exciting

i can wait for more

please update more soon

3/18/2010 c1 8lcf328
Wow - great start! More, please!

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