for Through A Journalist's Eyes6/20/2013 c1 yana19
Wow. This was great. Nicely written. Love it!
Wow. This was great. Nicely written. Love it!
9/24/2012 c1 Guest
i fucking really love this!
i fucking really love this!
6/11/2010 c1 
5moonshine2012
waa! nice! eto na, comment ako para madali mo na rin ako mahanap. XD super like ko siya kasi it's a different perspective from what i've usually read. very unique idea. ncie. :)
5moonshine2012waa! nice! eto na, comment ako para madali mo na rin ako mahanap. XD super like ko siya kasi it's a different perspective from what i've usually read. very unique idea. ncie. :)
3/27/2010 c1 5Harumaki
I haven't read fan fiction in quite awhile, let alone RyoSaku, so don't take my critique too seriously. Here we go...
Why I think this fic is win: one of my favorite things about RyoSaku fan fiction is reading about how the two get together in the first place, and this fic has one of the most original plots I've seen down that pathway. And you've included an intriguing OC to boot! Bonus points~! In addition, your characterizations of Ryoma and Sakuno are believable as well as how you convey their evident attraction for each other in this fic.
Why it's not so win: the format of your dialogue gets wonky sometimes, which make this hard to follow. For example, this line: "Sports Weekly-" "Daily" "Daily, whatever, is here for an interview." should all be as one quote since they're said at once: "Sports Weekly - Daily - Daily whatever is here for an interview." Something like that. And whenever you're writing a conversation, don't forget to make what each person says as its own line or paragraph.
For example: "Hello, B," greeted A.
"Hey there," replied B.
NOT:
"Hello, B," greeted A. "Hey there," replied B.
I could go on with a number of other things, like how your writing gets a little repetitive in its sentence structure and word usage, but the story itself is great. Please consider going back over this story to improve the writing and grammar in the future - or not, if only to show your watchers how you've improved. :)
I rest my case. Thanks for sharing!
- Harumaki
5HarumakiI haven't read fan fiction in quite awhile, let alone RyoSaku, so don't take my critique too seriously. Here we go...
Why I think this fic is win: one of my favorite things about RyoSaku fan fiction is reading about how the two get together in the first place, and this fic has one of the most original plots I've seen down that pathway. And you've included an intriguing OC to boot! Bonus points~! In addition, your characterizations of Ryoma and Sakuno are believable as well as how you convey their evident attraction for each other in this fic.
Why it's not so win: the format of your dialogue gets wonky sometimes, which make this hard to follow. For example, this line: "Sports Weekly-" "Daily" "Daily, whatever, is here for an interview." should all be as one quote since they're said at once: "Sports Weekly - Daily - Daily whatever is here for an interview." Something like that. And whenever you're writing a conversation, don't forget to make what each person says as its own line or paragraph.
For example: "Hello, B," greeted A.
"Hey there," replied B.
NOT:
"Hello, B," greeted A. "Hey there," replied B.
I could go on with a number of other things, like how your writing gets a little repetitive in its sentence structure and word usage, but the story itself is great. Please consider going back over this story to improve the writing and grammar in the future - or not, if only to show your watchers how you've improved. :)
I rest my case. Thanks for sharing!
- Harumaki
3/24/2010 c1 513itterSweet Fate
love it!
Great story, great writing style.
I commend the last line, it's totally awesome.
But you know, someone like Takada is hard to come by. I mean like someone who would set up his ex-girlfriend with her childhood sweetheart. But hey, fiction is fiction.
all in all. great story. I liked the chess player twist. haha.
"All the right moves, mate. All the right moves."
513itterSweet Fatelove it!
Great story, great writing style.
I commend the last line, it's totally awesome.
But you know, someone like Takada is hard to come by. I mean like someone who would set up his ex-girlfriend with her childhood sweetheart. But hey, fiction is fiction.
all in all. great story. I liked the chess player twist. haha.
"All the right moves, mate. All the right moves."
3/22/2010 c1 9Yuki029
wow dude! that's so cool! that kind of writing style is called second person right? I'm not quite sure. :) but wow, that's refreshing not only for you but for us readers too :D I haven't really read a story written like that, except really boring ones where you need to study about... not naming any names cough.
and no the dude is not indicating the gender, it's just an expression. ;) write more? I'm currently hunting down down your profile to find more ryosaku fics. Im sucha sucker for them :) This made me wanna write x)
9Yuki029wow dude! that's so cool! that kind of writing style is called second person right? I'm not quite sure. :) but wow, that's refreshing not only for you but for us readers too :D I haven't really read a story written like that, except really boring ones where you need to study about... not naming any names cough.
and no the dude is not indicating the gender, it's just an expression. ;) write more? I'm currently hunting down down your profile to find more ryosaku fics. Im sucha sucker for them :) This made me wanna write x)
3/20/2010 c1 7raven-eyed-lass
Perfectly written, title-wise and story-wise. The new perspective is also very refreshing. I haven't been reading any fanfics for this year, and I have to admit that this one will convert me back to reading ff's. :) Thank you for writing this one. :)
~raven-eyed-lass
7raven-eyed-lassPerfectly written, title-wise and story-wise. The new perspective is also very refreshing. I haven't been reading any fanfics for this year, and I have to admit that this one will convert me back to reading ff's. :) Thank you for writing this one. :)
~raven-eyed-lass
3/19/2010 c1 22Be-ya
Wow, that was so cute and sweet! I really love the ending. Your OC was a lovable and useful character. Though at first, I thought he was Sakuno XD. And oh! Your title was really lovely. It really explained the story. :)) Thank you for writing this well thought and well written story.
Write more! Good luck!
22Be-yaWow, that was so cute and sweet! I really love the ending. Your OC was a lovable and useful character. Though at first, I thought he was Sakuno XD. And oh! Your title was really lovely. It really explained the story. :)) Thank you for writing this well thought and well written story.
Write more! Good luck!