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for REDEMPTION Second chances don't come freely

5/5/2016 c2 2Mike Kromer
Must have more asap. Love it so far, keep it up. Can't wait to see what happens next.
4/13/2015 c2 Anonkyle
I liked this story very much!
It would be a pleasure to keep on reading this story.
So keep it up, this is one of the few stories I actually WANT to read more.
So please?
Can you continue the story
Its been 3 weeks since ive read this, and i want more
6/29/2010 c2 HopelessRomanticT-T
Lol i'm sorry kitsune thinking he was a rapist was funny, and a bit ironic at the same time, i am curious though, are you going to delve more into why he left them 20 years ago? I'm really curious now lol Its gonna bug me till you update so do it fast XD
4/12/2010 c2 4Shigur3
Hmm, I firstly have to comment on errors. There are quite a few and it looks as if you have taken the program's spell checker at face value. Let me tell you, they are not always correct. I can probably pick out where it has changed from your original because it usually does the same thing.

For one, question marks. For some reason it likes to put question marks in for no reason.

'The trip was tense for Keitaro, heading to a place that he hadn't seen or visited since his grandmother passed away – especially since she passed away?'

Does not need a question mark, as it isn't a question. (Also the end of the sentence is unnecessarily repeated.)

Same here:

'This place is amazing...back in the day it only came alive if there was a festival of some look at it!'

'He felt both happy and dread!'

'Standing there his world wrapped around him like a woman's embrace and making him feel some what content and detached for a moment, this feeling was both strange and yet familiar at the same time?'

Most of these are because the program gets confused, moreso looking at the last example. It could be seen as a question if worded a small amount differently and this confuses it.

Ignoring that, my point is to check it even after it has checked your work.

There are other errors that it would not have picked up on as well.

-'and it hurtled me so'-

If the mistake is an actual word and if it makes sense in that sentence then the checker won't pick up on it.

'She was then able to stop – or lesson to point that was now able to speak!'

She was then able to stop - or at least lessen to the point that she was now able to speak!

Something like that.

Just check it after the spell checker. I don't even use it anymore.

It may seem harsh but it's all just constructive criticism in hope of seeing you improve. A beta reader can also help.

Now onto the plot. Seems pretty solid to me and gives the reader something to keep on to, aka: Why did he leave? What happened?

Which is good. I'm interested in the plot and hope to see more.

Keep writing and keep us reading.

:- Shig-san
4/8/2010 c2 ogihcI ikasoruK
Now that one sent chills down my spine... A confrontation within the second chapter with spectators galore. It's always good to read a story that gets your heart pumping. With all the good mangas/anime already out in the world, i bet a lot of people would enjoy this if this were made into either.

also, kudos for nailing kitsune's accent!
4/7/2010 c2 Higashiyama Sayuri's Devout
I was hopping for a new beginning kind of fic were in some magical and ridiculously way keitaro goes back in time to fix past mistakes and that sort of thing, since in the beginning it seams as if his marriage with the BITCH is going to hell, and with him him being 40 he would had have more experience and confidence dealing with he girls..

And by the way i hate "Aeon's after" kind of fics.

Thanks for your time.
4/7/2010 c2 X2501
lol, i see now! keep it up, its lookin good so far. im all over this like a bag of potato chips~
4/7/2010 c1 ogihcI ikasoruK
of the many fanfics on this site, i would have to say that this would be a story i would like to read in it's entirety. not many stories have a thing like a serious second chance at changing a persons life if given the opportunity, so i am looking forward to what this author has in store for us.
3/31/2010 c1 2newogre
sounds good, keep it up
3/31/2010 c1 X2501
lol, good stuff, but im wondering who the being actually is? im fairly sure its not kami. his mother? the famed promise girl? lol, idk if you plan to disclose that, but ill wait for your next update. oh and the college girls and their 'ring of death' lol good stuff all around!

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