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12/5/2010 c10 3MarluxiaSasakiDoom
Well this was funny.

Remind me never to steal Lightning's sandwhich.
10/30/2010 c9 ElissaCousland
ut oh, I wonder what Light's gonna do the sandwich theives "with a cruel smile"...shivers. I never want to be on the recieving end of Lightning's cruel smile. o_O
10/30/2010 c8 ElissaCousland
haha, I thought Vanille was secretly the sandwich theif, but it's the oompa-loompa!
10/30/2010 c6 ElissaCousland
"NO ONE GETS IN THE WAY OF MY SANDWICH!" XDDDD Vanille! Oh, and "Kentucky Fried Chocobos" ! o_O
10/30/2010 c5 ElissaCousland
okay, this was kind of weird. I thought the random drunk left? did he come back? why is he sitting with them? you're right, that IS creepy.

I think the random drunk guy should continue being random and drunk throughout the story. maybe creepily being a creep to each of them?

Ah, now for a sandwich. Turkey Breast and Ham on Wheat with lettuce, tomato, and pickles, 6-inch cause footlong is too much food, besides, I don't want strange little men in tights to sing at me. Haha, Light's gonna get fat!
10/30/2010 c4 ElissaCousland
"Thank you for buying!" Some random guy said

this sentence made me laugh. :) you're very good at crack humor.
10/30/2010 c3 ElissaCousland
"(The Veggie DeliteĀ® is a delightfully crunchy combination of garden fresh lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, onions and your choice of fat-free condiments served on freshly baked bread. It's like a salad sandwich.

ROFLOL! Haha. :D
10/30/2010 c2 ElissaCousland
hahaha! Hilarious! Would those "little men" be oompa-loompa's by any chance? XD
8/22/2010 c6 9afrodette
OMGLOLBBQQWTF? Kentucky Fried Chocobos? lol, that made my day :3

great story. it's funny. (:
8/18/2010 c7 2rockstar111
Hey! Chibi Can you email me back! PLEASE WRITE MORE!
8/18/2010 c1 rockstar111
Hey Chibi You Rock!

Ur HALARIOUS! LUV the story!

Keep Writing! PLEASE! :)
4/25/2010 c4 VictoriaTakanashi
Srry dont know any mukuku.
4/18/2010 c7 12MuffledSnickers
*idly wonders who Vlclds or the Kagamines are* oh, Hi Chibi! :D

Yay! Random guy gets punched XD if he didn't steal her sandwhich, who did?

And he kissed light? *Gasp* Oh that's daredevil-y lol

it was adorable chibi ;) nice work
4/13/2010 c6 1Rei-Yunacat
Haha, this is a funny little story! I swear I rolled over laughing at the KFC comment! xD (poor Chocobos!)

But yah, aside from the grammatical and punctual mistakes here and there, I like it! :3

4/12/2010 c5 12MuffledSnickers
lol, chibi this is cute ;) Random drunk guy comes in and Hope's all 'oh, it's okay, Light will protect me'

XD an annoying five-group of guys charges in singing

These guys just can't seem to make up their own minds for what they want, can they?

=) it's a cute lil story. you do miss a few grammar point that could be corrected using spell check. try putting in some more details to what everyone does too, you know? that could really help this fic out with getting some more attention. It's a nice little starter fic and you wrote it alright, it's cute ;) if you ever need any help with writing or anything, i'd be happy to lend you a hand. I think, as you progress in your writing, you're going to naturally get better. That's how it usually works. When i first started writing fanfictions, I thought they were soo good and grammically correct and everything-looking back on them, that's chuckley. your writing will eventually naturally flush itself out. Just keep at it, okay? that's what really matters. Not quitting. Writing is great to get into and I absolutely love it now-you probably will too later on. I'll put this story on my story alert, kay? so I'll know when you update ^^ keep up the good work Chibi, it's a good start
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