for Dazzle 2011/27/2011 c1 sumo is
Oooh, this sounds sooo good. Please update. I also hope that Shikamaru still has feelings for Hinata.
Oooh, this sounds sooo good. Please update. I also hope that Shikamaru still has feelings for Hinata.
3/2/2011 c1 Darkangl28
Okay I like the way this fic is going. We're all grown up and there is intrigued that isn't conceivable. I've put on the alert in case you decide to continue, keep up the good work.
Okay I like the way this fic is going. We're all grown up and there is intrigued that isn't conceivable. I've put on the alert in case you decide to continue, keep up the good work.
1/29/2011 c1 
3Rakero-chan
2 things:
When Hyugga should be Hyuga or Hyuuga (transliteration is weird) and Hinabi is actually Hanabi.
I am looking forward to the rest of the story!
3Rakero-chan2 things:
When Hyugga should be Hyuga or Hyuuga (transliteration is weird) and Hinabi is actually Hanabi.
I am looking forward to the rest of the story!
8/3/2010 c1 lksdjflaksdjflkasdflkajsdflka
Amazing start and thank you so much for taking the time to message me and call me out. :D Makes me feel special. :P I just want to point out some things... Please don't take it offensively. For one, it might be a good idea to read through it before submission. There were a few typos or it seemed that you started a sentence and realized that it wasn't the right one but forgetting to erase the mistake. The only other problem is the spelling of the names. The character spellings were incorrect, the ones I can remember are Hyugga, Tsunada, Aberame, and Kanoha. They're Hyuuga/Hyuga, Tsunade, Aburame, and Konoha. There are a few more...
-Uggh. I hate the criticism part-
Anyways, other than those few flaws, the writing itself was awesome. I liked the quirky feel to it and some foreshadowing never hurts. :D I hope you plan on taking a chapter or two explaining the side stories soon, for example, about Ino and Sakura and their college. I know you write well but I hope you write fast. Translation? Update soon, please! :D
Amazing start and thank you so much for taking the time to message me and call me out. :D Makes me feel special. :P I just want to point out some things... Please don't take it offensively. For one, it might be a good idea to read through it before submission. There were a few typos or it seemed that you started a sentence and realized that it wasn't the right one but forgetting to erase the mistake. The only other problem is the spelling of the names. The character spellings were incorrect, the ones I can remember are Hyugga, Tsunada, Aberame, and Kanoha. They're Hyuuga/Hyuga, Tsunade, Aburame, and Konoha. There are a few more...
-Uggh. I hate the criticism part-
Anyways, other than those few flaws, the writing itself was awesome. I liked the quirky feel to it and some foreshadowing never hurts. :D I hope you plan on taking a chapter or two explaining the side stories soon, for example, about Ino and Sakura and their college. I know you write well but I hope you write fast. Translation? Update soon, please! :D
4/25/2010 c1 5BlackMoonTiger
this seems like it's gonna be an awesome story! please update soon! i'm loving it so far! your awesome! i loved how you portrayed all the characters. ^_^
5BlackMoonTigerthis seems like it's gonna be an awesome story! please update soon! i'm loving it so far! your awesome! i loved how you portrayed all the characters. ^_^
4/6/2010 c1 4ppeach2
I think this is pretty good one or two mistakes but it has potential so far I like it and I definitely want to read more. =]
4ppeach2I think this is pretty good one or two mistakes but it has potential so far I like it and I definitely want to read more. =]
4/6/2010 c1 EternallyStar
Interesting concept and a good start. One thing though. You misspelled Tsunade and Hanabi more than once. You should change that.
Otherwise, update soon.
Interesting concept and a good start. One thing though. You misspelled Tsunade and Hanabi more than once. You should change that.
Otherwise, update soon.
4/6/2010 c1 DAngel7
That is so interesting. I like how you make the connections between characters -intriguing and different - Hinata and Shika - lol. I can`t wait for the next chapter. I hope you`ll update frequently. Don`t keep us waiting too long. The story is really good and original. Keep writing. =]
That is so interesting. I like how you make the connections between characters -intriguing and different - Hinata and Shika - lol. I can`t wait for the next chapter. I hope you`ll update frequently. Don`t keep us waiting too long. The story is really good and original. Keep writing. =]
4/6/2010 c1 Narutomog
Wow~! I am loving this story so far! I really like the way things are going and that Hinata still acts like Hinata! Update please~ I can't wait to read more! ~^^~
Wow~! I am loving this story so far! I really like the way things are going and that Hinata still acts like Hinata! Update please~ I can't wait to read more! ~^^~
4/5/2010 c1 32MyTragicLover
Somewhat original and with an alright overall plot. The POV changes are a bit annoying, but bearable. One thing I have to say, however, is that you should check how to spell the character's names.
Hinabi is Hanabi, Kanoha, is Konoha, Tsunada is Tsunade, Umuino is Umino, Aberame is Aburame and Hyugga can either be Hyuga or Hyuuga.
As long as these POV changes are just for this chapter (or for the first few chapters) I think I might continue reading.
32MyTragicLoverSomewhat original and with an alright overall plot. The POV changes are a bit annoying, but bearable. One thing I have to say, however, is that you should check how to spell the character's names.
Hinabi is Hanabi, Kanoha, is Konoha, Tsunada is Tsunade, Umuino is Umino, Aberame is Aburame and Hyugga can either be Hyuga or Hyuuga.
As long as these POV changes are just for this chapter (or for the first few chapters) I think I might continue reading.