for Apocalypse:A True Story of Harry Potter & Twilight6/24/2010 c6 
7Fairytales-are-better
ahahahah i love this story its sooo funny
Edward is classic ' we dont NEED derections'
ahahaha and Ron...well I cant remember what he said but it was funny!
write more NOW! :D
7Fairytales-are-betterahahahah i love this story its sooo funny
Edward is classic ' we dont NEED derections'
ahahaha and Ron...well I cant remember what he said but it was funny!
write more NOW! :D
4/26/2010 c5 Timmie
'Kay, for dialog just look for examples in novels.
Anyway, hilarious chapter! I hope to hear more work from you.
:)
-Timmie
'Kay, for dialog just look for examples in novels.
Anyway, hilarious chapter! I hope to hear more work from you.
:)
-Timmie
4/22/2010 c5 IDL
As usual, great character personality! All the random jokes are awesome(er)! But... Doesnt Jacob = Talor Lautner? I think you should write for SNL someday... Keep writing, its awesome!
As usual, great character personality! All the random jokes are awesome(er)! But... Doesnt Jacob = Talor Lautner? I think you should write for SNL someday... Keep writing, its awesome!
4/22/2010 c4 IDL
AH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is Fantastic! I do hope you keep writing these, they are truly entertaining! This Chapter did have much more Dialogue then the others, but it was still really funny. I've never tried imgaining Hermione calling some one a bitch, but thats all the more fun. Nice job forming the character personalities, Makes me feel like I actually know these people when I'm reading it. =D
AH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is Fantastic! I do hope you keep writing these, they are truly entertaining! This Chapter did have much more Dialogue then the others, but it was still really funny. I've never tried imgaining Hermione calling some one a bitch, but thats all the more fun. Nice job forming the character personalities, Makes me feel like I actually know these people when I'm reading it. =D
4/22/2010 c3 IDL
HA, this is the bomb. I love how you add in questions and things that sidetrack from the story from time to time. Also, Very good mixture of description and Dialouge, It is rather captivating. Awesome work man!
HA, this is the bomb. I love how you add in questions and things that sidetrack from the story from time to time. Also, Very good mixture of description and Dialouge, It is rather captivating. Awesome work man!
4/22/2010 c4 Garota Nefelibata
I really liked this story, particularly the last chapter. I don't think I can give you tips about grammar and things like that, because my first language isn't English, but keep writing. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
I really liked this story, particularly the last chapter. I don't think I can give you tips about grammar and things like that, because my first language isn't English, but keep writing. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
4/19/2010 c4 Timmie
Again, speech tags should begin with a lowercase letter, reason being because the dialog and the speech tag are two parts of the same sentence, if that makes any sense.
Here's an example of how dialog should look:
"Hello!" said the boy.
"Hey Bob," said Tim.
"How are you?" asked Bob.
"I'm doing fine," Tim replied.
"I like your sweater, Tim. Do you wanna go to the movies?" Bob asked.
"Thanks. I'd love to go! Popcorn's on me," he said.
Also, wouldn't the trio be used to seeing a werewolf? And instead of having them say "AH!" why don't you just say "The witch and wizards screamed in fright," or whatever.
Okay, I'm done nitpicking! :) You've got skills, but you just need to polish 'em.
Again, speech tags should begin with a lowercase letter, reason being because the dialog and the speech tag are two parts of the same sentence, if that makes any sense.
Here's an example of how dialog should look:
"Hello!" said the boy.
"Hey Bob," said Tim.
"How are you?" asked Bob.
"I'm doing fine," Tim replied.
"I like your sweater, Tim. Do you wanna go to the movies?" Bob asked.
"Thanks. I'd love to go! Popcorn's on me," he said.
Also, wouldn't the trio be used to seeing a werewolf? And instead of having them say "AH!" why don't you just say "The witch and wizards screamed in fright," or whatever.
Okay, I'm done nitpicking! :) You've got skills, but you just need to polish 'em.
4/18/2010 c3 Timmie
Okay, there is something that bugged me in this chapter; the fact t hat you (the narrator) asked a question in the middle of the story, that wasn't related to the plot. If you have a question like that, put it in the author's note, or whatever you want to call it.
"Just pull onto the grass, here." He said. should be "Just pull onto the grass, here," he said. Also, "You can't catch me!" The little girl . . . should be "You can't catch me!" the little girl . . . and again, if you have comments put it in the author's note.
BTW the answer to your question: Werewolves don't give their age in dog years. Once they become werewolves, they start growing super fast, and look like they're in their mid-20s. After that, they don't start to physically age until they can control their shape-shifting abilities.
The formula for dog years is 10.5 dog years per human year for the first 2 years, then 4 dog years per human year for each year after.
Okay, there is something that bugged me in this chapter; the fact t hat you (the narrator) asked a question in the middle of the story, that wasn't related to the plot. If you have a question like that, put it in the author's note, or whatever you want to call it.
"Just pull onto the grass, here." He said. should be "Just pull onto the grass, here," he said. Also, "You can't catch me!" The little girl . . . should be "You can't catch me!" the little girl . . . and again, if you have comments put it in the author's note.
BTW the answer to your question: Werewolves don't give their age in dog years. Once they become werewolves, they start growing super fast, and look like they're in their mid-20s. After that, they don't start to physically age until they can control their shape-shifting abilities.
The formula for dog years is 10.5 dog years per human year for the first 2 years, then 4 dog years per human year for each year after.
4/15/2010 c3 2Black Shirt Fist Bump
Isn't chicken poxs fun? So I went to the dentist today and they brought out a drill...and then they cut open my lip with it...on accident. They said they should do a couple stiches...but they didn't...why did I write this in a review? How is it related to Twilight and or Harry Potter? I just don't know...great chapter! Funny, funny!
2Black Shirt Fist BumpIsn't chicken poxs fun? So I went to the dentist today and they brought out a drill...and then they cut open my lip with it...on accident. They said they should do a couple stiches...but they didn't...why did I write this in a review? How is it related to Twilight and or Harry Potter? I just don't know...great chapter! Funny, funny!
4/15/2010 c2 Timmie
A Harry Potter/Twilight crossover that is semi-well written? It must be a sign of the Apocalypse! LOL Don't get to cocky though and slack off; you gotta long road ahead of you.
A Harry Potter/Twilight crossover that is semi-well written? It must be a sign of the Apocalypse! LOL Don't get to cocky though and slack off; you gotta long road ahead of you.